Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Laughing our way through life

The laughter echoed through the room, the ladies happily making jokes about their lives as we discussed the various issues that women have to deal with in marriage. This was already the 7th session in our ‘Marriage in Islam’ workshop and the women who were initially strangers to each other had now bonded and become sisters. We were laughing so much that if a stranger had walked past the Madressah classroom we use for this purpose, he or she would wonder exactly what goes on in these sessions. This time around we have a particularly humorous lady, who “entertains” us weekly with her wacky comments. It definitely makes the sessions very much more interesting!

Reflecting on the day’s happenings, I can’t help but ponder over how wrong they all have it. I wonder how much trouble it takes them to find the sad and despondent Muslim women that they keep showing us in the media. Admittedly, each time I’m involved with any workshop, we find women who have to undergo challenges and difficulties, whether it’s in marriage, parenting or even just struggling with self conflict. But this is not something reserved for Muslim women; this is common and evident in every situation and amongst all types of people. I’ve heard Christian and even Jewish people telling me about the exact same challenges that these Muslim women talk about; so clearly as human beings, and more specifically as women we have so much in common, so many experiences that are similar, so many ways in which we can relate to one another!

Despite life’s challenges though, here is this group of women, Muslim women, sitting in a classroom in a mainstream Mosque, dressed in long cloaks and wearing the hijaab, laughing, way too loudly at times, about their lives and how they deal with it and openly sharing their thoughts, opinions and feelings. It makes me think; clearly things can’t be that bad for Muslim women if they are able to do this?

Nevertheless, I guess my main point here is that Muslim women, like women from other Faiths and walks of life, have learnt to deal with life’s challenges in the best way they know how, some of them are able to laugh their way through it, others passively reflect on their lives as they consider their futures, and yet others argue and question as they attempt to make sense out of things. Islam does not at any point discourage women from any of this! And the dull, sad, silent Muslim woman who’s face seems like it has never ever smiled or laughed, is not as easily found as we are made to believe. As I laughed myself silly this morning, this was clearer to me than ever before.


  1. Assalaamoe Alaykum


    Gosh - I have to admit - todays session was awesome and at the same time very deep.

    Best part is how evident the bonding has become - not only a break through as each one of us are finally comfortable with each other, but also a given platform for us to vent and realise - WE ARE NOT ALONE...

    I don't think we are ever able to make sense of any marital issues but I do think - if we place these issues, which seems so HUGE, in the hands of Allah (SWT) - its size will diminish, sometimes even disappear Inshaa-allah. [slight smile]

    I hope that each one of us took that moment to reflect on the sounds of our laughter as this was the moment I silently said to myself - if we can find the humour in our problems today - then surely these problems are not worth throwing away the sacred bond between a husband and his wife.

    I thank all these facilitators for taking the time to listen, advise and equip us with such beneficial info and skills. May Allah (SWT) reward you abundantly for all your selfless efforts Inshaa-allah - AAMEEN



  2. Wa-alaykumus-salaam


    Thank you so much for your comment and of course the lovely duaa! Alhamdulila it's so amazing that you can come to this understanding and realize that with the will of Allah any problem can seem small, and even though the session was on such a serious topic, the laughter made it so exciting! Isn't it amazing how something like laughter which is usually regarded as so silly could make people come to such profound realizations.

    Only sad thing is that we having so much fun with you guys and now its almost over:( Anyway, guess all good things have to come to an end, right?

    If you thought today was fun, just wait till next week:) Topic very heated, even the quietest of women usually have a lot to say about that one.

    Please remember me in your duaas!