Thursday, March 18, 2010

Women and Friendship

A cluster of women stood outside the school excitedly discussing their little children. They seemed to be enjoying their discussion as they laughed at all the cute and adorable things their kids do. The others listened attentively as one of the ladies relayed her stories. Their voices were animated and full of joy. I could not help observing this scene as I waited outside the school for my niece to come out. It was clear that these women received support and encouragement from each other. As regular mothers coming to pick their children up every day, they had bonded and formed friendships that seemed genuine and warm. Judging from what I saw it seemed as if these women looked forward to these few minutes each day where they could share their common experiences with other women who knew exactly what they were going through.

I went inside the school and observed something very similar going on with the young girls. Groups of girls walked together, holding hands, laughing and chatting. “And this is exactly the way it is with women”, I smiled as this thought passed through my mind.

It made me realize that women need to have friendships with other women. We need to share our experiences, vent to each other, express our happiness and of course our frustrations. That’s the way women were made it seems, at least most women. While men might look on and wonder why women need to have bonds with people outside of their families, or how they can share their personal experiences with others, women understand that this need is innate. As emotional creatures women get comforted by the idea of having others to share things with. The need to talk about things is something that men may never understand, for them it seems unnecessary and futile, but for women, talking and sharing is the thing that bonds them, it’s what builds friendships and strengthens their relationships.

Now, I’m quite aware of the flipside, and I cannot deny that many times this talking and sharing is exactly what causes trouble for many women, but like many things in life, friendship is something that can either be constructive or destructive, depending on your situation and the type of friends that you have. Some women will argue that men have easier relationships; that they can make friends as easily as they can lose friends and that they do not get caught up in dramatic displays of emotion. This is undeniable, but, the friendships that women have with each other is sometimes the only thing that helps them make sense out of their lives. Understanding that there are other women out there, who share your feelings and who can relate to whatever situation you are presently in may well be the sunshine on the cloudy day.
In the end, even though there may be arguing and bickering, little irritations, or even jealousy and animosity, despite all this though, one thing is for sure, women will never deny that they need to have their friends!


  1. Assalaamoe Alaykum

    I'd have to agree with you 100%. Just my opinion but I do believe that both men and women should have friends.

    This allows them to be other than the responsible mother/father - the ideal wife/husband - the perfect lover - the obedient daughter / son and the list goes on. In this circle they are free to just BE - have fun and forget about all the serious realities of life.

    But most importantly - friends, whom one can rely on, confide in, benefit from and considered GOOD COMPANY Inshaa-allah.




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