In its heyday

While driving the other day a particular building caught my gaze once again, as it always does when I drive that route. It’s an old building, dilapidated and empty, but you can see right away that it must have been beautiful in its heyday. My instinct was to stop the car and explore this intriguing structure, but that would've been madness since I was alone, in quite a “dodgy” area of Johannesburg.

I couldn't stop thinking about this building though as I continued driving. I could easily conjure up an image of something regal, a prestigious place; a place where the rich and fancy may have come together for socializing. Or it could have been a luxurious apartment building, the top floor windows looked as if it once boasted the finest penthouses. That was a time when the city would've been in its prime, now this building is a mere echo of what it probably once was, a skeleton, empty and ignored in the busy city street.

Although this building may seem completely useless though, which in all practicality it really is. For me it serves as a reminder; a vivid depiction of what our lives are destined to become. We are now in our prime, full of life and energy, but soon this will end, and we will be forgotten and ignored by many as our once beautiful bodies become dust in the grave.

I may be sounding rather morbid here, but this is reality. Just like a part of the city disintegrates and the buildings lose its value while better and more modern buildings in another part of the city gain prestige, so is it with us. The cycle of life continuous and none of us have a choice. We live, we die, other people are born, they live and they die, and that is just life.

I don’t know about you, but I would like to make the best of this very short life that I have. I do not want to be a loser one day, when I am old and unable to do anything good I don’t want to lament the fact that I could’ve and should’ve done more. The small things are precious. We cannot waste our time working for this world and forgetting that we need to be working towards the hereafter. Our deeds in this world can mean something, if we focus it on the Hereafter. If we do everything with Allah in mind and if our aim is to gain Allah’s pleasure in all that we do, then our lives will not be in vain and one day perhaps we will leave behind a legacy of our own, no matter how small or unpopular that may be.

I guess what strikes me the most is that you can be beautiful, fancy, attractive, glamorous and all those things, but one day all that will be lost and no one will remember it, it will be a mere echo, just like the old building. But you can be very unlike the old building if your character shines, because then, you would have touched lives, and the glamour and beauty of someone’s character will continue to shine and will always be useful as well as remembered.

May Almighty Allah guide us all and help us to always see the truth and reality of this passing life!

Image from here

The days the world stood still...NOT

Last week was a different week for me. I didn’t think that something so small could make such a big difference to my life, and as much as I thought I could do without it easily, it seems that I cannot, not really. You must be wondering what I’m talking about... It’s my internet connection of course!

For about 4 days last week I had no internet connection! There was a fault which needed to be fixed by the service provider, but like many things in South Africa, it took very long to sort out. It turned out that all it was, was a loose wire. If only someone had some time to check that out on the same day we reported the fault, but in any case, 4 days later they finally found the time and my misery was put to an end. Alhamdullillah.

Okay so maybe it wasn’t exactly misery, that could be a vague generalization, but I can tell you that I felt lost. It really felt like life had just stood still. All the work that was waiting for me couldn’t be done because e-mails had to be sent out first and naturally without internet, I couldn’t send emails. So I moped around waiting for the connection to be fixed again and that’s when I realised how dependent I have become. I mean really, my work got set back a whole week because of one disconnected wire, this really was an eye opener as to how much of my activity actually dependents on the internet working.

Besides my work not getting done, I couldn’t blog, e-mail anyone, read anyone’s blogs or web pages. I couldn’t get the details for payments that I had to make because it was on the internet, I couldn’t order my brother’s university textbooks because I was supposed to be doing it online. Every time I thought about something I had to do, I was reminded that I couldn’t do it because I had no internet access. How crazy is that?

A while ago I began trying to spend less time on the internet, I knew that it took up a lot of my time, but I guess I didn’t realise the extent. Can you imagine that it seemed like my world had stood still, all because of a silly internet connection.

Yet the world didn’t stay still at all, neither did it end. I still woke up every day, I still managed to complete my daily chores, perform my daily worships, keep in touch with people... The sun still rose and set, the day still continued to go on and the earth still continued to go round. The world’s problems continued, politicians kept up their usual appearances as they worked hard to fool the masses, crime still continued, people still died (not because of their inability to access the internet), children still continued to go to school, cars still continued to drive...the world moved on and on, and my little issue with internet disconnection meant nothing at all.

So now I am back and I have to admit that I didn’t miss much at all. Yes, Whitney Houston was found dead in her hotel room, that’s about the biggest news right now, (or maybe it’s already old news). So I was set back a few days with work, but now the e-mails I had to send out is all done and everything else I needed to do will be sorted out soon. So in fact, it wasn’t such a big deal at all.  

It’s easy to get caught up in cyberspace, it’s even easier to conduct all your activies through cyberspace-being able to shop online or pay a bill online really does save a lot of time and energy...but what this has taught me is that even though this is the Information Age, we do not need to be dependent on the internet. There was life before the internet took the world by storm and there will be life after the internet as well. The internet does not sustain our lives, and definitely does not make the world go round. So it may take a bit of adjusting, or a lot of adjusting, depending on your own personal internet usage, but life will continue.

When I look at the green trees and red roses, the white daisies and the blue skies, the rain that falls and nourishes everything, the golden sunshine which shines so bright and even the glowing moon on a dark night, when I think about all this I am reminded about what life really is about. We were not meant to sit in front of the computer screen the whole day, taking in beauty from simulations. The world is moving around us, even quicker these days, perhaps we should reduce our internet dependence and take the time to look around us, before the world really does come to an end.

Image from here

Is This Really LIFE?

The other day my nephews and nieces asked me if they could play a board game called LIFE. I don’t know if all of you are familiar with this game, but for those who are not, it’s basically a board game reflecting “LIFE”. It starts where you have to make the choice between going to College or Finding a Career. Then you move through the various spaces of the game, borrowing money from the bank, getting money for things, receiving a salary, having to pay taxes and other expenses, getting money, losing money, getting married, having children, buying a starter home, then when you have enough money, moving on to a bigger house, then a mansion, getting divorced, getting married again, winning things or money, getting a pay raise, changing careers, going back to college, owing more money, having more expenses, getting more money, then paying for something new..... Eventually you end the game by retiring, with your fancy cars and big mansion (that is of course if you’re lucky enough or wise enough to have played the game well).

As I sat there watching these young innocent children, so eager and excited to play and so fascinated with the game, I honestly couldn’t help feeling completely freaked out! This isn’t what I want my innocent nieces and nephews to think life is all about. In fact, a more appropriate name for this type of game would have been “RAT RACE”. Really, where’s the meaning, the human interaction, the spirituality and religion. Where are the wonderful feelings you get when spending time with family, or the good you accomplish by giving charity, or the positive impact you make by doing volunteer work to help others. Apparently all these things have no value (that is no monetary or material value), and they don’t even deserve to be a part of life. So just like in the game, activities that don’t bring in the money are simply just not worthwhile and you basically end up being the loser. I have to ask; Is this really LIFE? Is this how we want our children to see life? Do we want them to think that life is all about material things and experiences, that our value at the end of the day depends on how big our houses are, or how smart our cars are and how much money we have in the bank? Are these even positive messages at all?

And of course, just like these things have been glamorized in the game, so too have they been made to look wonderful in real life. I know that we need money and a career and so on, but what happened to the essence of life? A life like this has no meaning; it’s a mechanical movement through time where people don’t even have to love what they do, just as long as it gives them the material things they need. What about having a passion for what you do, or doing something because you honestly want to make a real difference? The people who manage to step out of the “rat race” are very few, and they are the ones who are regarded as “odd”, “different”, and “eccentric”. In the meantime, there’s this system in place that has strategically managed to enslave us all in a world that has no meaning and value; a world of materialism, where money is the central part that makes the entire machine work. So people continue to work to get money, and before we even get our pay cheques at the end of the month the money’s already gone. And the house we live in will only belong to us after twenty years of hard work and regular payments. And similarly the car we drive can easily be taken away from us if we are unable to uphold payments. And prices of things continue to go up, and we get extremely tired every day, as we work just to pay for things. Is this really LIFE?

I was happy when my niece decided she wanted to be a teacher in the game instead of a computer designer, despite the fact that the teacher got paid much less. She loves school and teaching and always talks about how she wants to be a teacher. It was refreshing to see how innocent children still make choices based on meaning and value instead of money and materialism. Still though, the sceptic in me can’t help but wonder how long will that last? At what point will this enthusiasm and passion for wanting to do something you really love be drowned out by the glitz and glamour associated with a fancy career. I wish that I could say this will never happen. I wish that I could our future will be built on things that have values and meaning. I wish that I could say money will come to mean very little, it will be a means and not an end. I wish that I could say the definition of life will include meaningful experiences instead of a race through materialism. Perhaps one day my wishes will come true and people will discard the world of materialism for a world full of things that actually mean something.

In the meantime though, we can start with ourselves, we can try to make the difference, we can be different and re-define the definition of LIFE. For me, LIFE is not about a constant rat race, gaining wealth and possessions as we go along. I don’t care about the big house or fancy car. I don’t want the glamorous job in the Top Company. Inshaa Allah, through the mercy of Our Most Magnificent Lord, Allah Almighty, I wish to continue searching for meaning wherever I can find it. And Inshaa Allah, I wish to be able to only do actions that will please Allah, because one day when this material world will no longer exist, then what will I have to show? When money means nothing and all the fancy homes and cars are destroyed and useless, then what will I have to show? When a fancy career in the best company holds no value, then where will I turn? And when I stand before my Lord and have to answer about my life, what will I be able to say then? Who will really win the true game of life?

PS: Before people tell me that I'm spoiling all the fun and taking things way too seriously, I'm really not saying that we shouldn't play games or have fun. Its fine to even play this game for fun, as long as we don't start believing that this is all that life is about. That's all I'm trying to say here!  

May Allah make it easy for us all, Inshaa Allah


Image  1 from: http://www.boardgameratings.com/game/95/
Image 2 from: http://lyricsdog.eu/s/live%20action%20roleplaying

Laughing our way through life

The laughter echoed through the room, the ladies happily making jokes about their lives as we discussed the various issues that women have to deal with in marriage. This was already the 7th session in our ‘Marriage in Islam’ workshop and the women who were initially strangers to each other had now bonded and become sisters. We were laughing so much that if a stranger had walked past the Madressah classroom we use for this purpose, he or she would wonder exactly what goes on in these sessions. This time around we have a particularly humorous lady, who “entertains” us weekly with her wacky comments. It definitely makes the sessions very much more interesting!


Reflecting on the day’s happenings, I can’t help but ponder over how wrong they all have it. I wonder how much trouble it takes them to find the sad and despondent Muslim women that they keep showing us in the media. Admittedly, each time I’m involved with any workshop, we find women who have to undergo challenges and difficulties, whether it’s in marriage, parenting or even just struggling with self conflict. But this is not something reserved for Muslim women; this is common and evident in every situation and amongst all types of people. I’ve heard Christian and even Jewish people telling me about the exact same challenges that these Muslim women talk about; so clearly as human beings, and more specifically as women we have so much in common, so many experiences that are similar, so many ways in which we can relate to one another!


Despite life’s challenges though, here is this group of women, Muslim women, sitting in a classroom in a mainstream Mosque, dressed in long cloaks and wearing the hijaab, laughing, way too loudly at times, about their lives and how they deal with it and openly sharing their thoughts, opinions and feelings. It makes me think; clearly things can’t be that bad for Muslim women if they are able to do this?


Nevertheless, I guess my main point here is that Muslim women, like women from other Faiths and walks of life, have learnt to deal with life’s challenges in the best way they know how, some of them are able to laugh their way through it, others passively reflect on their lives as they consider their futures, and yet others argue and question as they attempt to make sense out of things. Islam does not at any point discourage women from any of this! And the dull, sad, silent Muslim woman who’s face seems like it has never ever smiled or laughed, is not as easily found as we are made to believe. As I laughed myself silly this morning, this was clearer to me than ever before.

Image from:leezuhhl.blogspot.com