Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Special Women with a Very Special Task
I have a cousin who was born with a mental disability. For as long as I can remember, her mother has been looking after her and caring for her in her own way. She is now probably in her late thirties and things are just getting more difficult. Although she is constantly on medication, she obviously still interacts on a level that no one can understand. She speaks openly about everything, even things that are supposed to be private, and this always makes her mother uncomfortable. After spending a brief time with my cousin recently, it occurred to me that it really can’t be easy at all to have a child with a disability, and I have to say that only special people are chosen for this important task.
I know a few other amazing mothers whose children have physical or mental disabilities. All these women have something in common. They have dedicated their lives to taking care of their children.
One of the ladies I know is in her 80s and she has a son who is mentally disabled. Like my cousin his condition has worsened over the years, despite the constant medication that he is on. This old lady lives alone with her son and still cares for him, despite her age. She makes him coffee and cooks for him and at an age in her life when someone is supposed to be caring for her, she still walks to do shopping and make sure that she and her son have all their needs. When she speaks about her son it’s casual and matter of factly, like taking care of him for like 50 years or so hasn’t been a big deal at all. SubhanAllah, I am awestruck by this dedication.
Another amazing mother I know has a son who is bedridden. He was born without any problems and everything was normal until he suddenly took ill in his early twenties or so (I’m not sure of the exact age, but I know that it was after he finished high school). Since as long as I can remember this man has been bedridden and his mother has been taking care of her son’s every need. She feeds him on time, makes sure his bed is always clean, turns him around so that he doesn’t develop bed sores, gives him medication, etc. This woman is probably in her 60s, perhaps nearing her 70s and she still does this patiently. SubhanAllah.
Then I know a few young mothers; in their twenties and thirties, who have children with Down syndrome. Despite the various challenges that this presents, these mothers are intent on making sure that their children are receiving the best treatment, at school and at home. These mothers are constantly trying to find new ways to help their children, and they too will probably be doing this for the rest of their lives. I had the privilege of witnessing exactly how much love one of these mothers has for her son. While others may not have patience to deal with him, or while they may lack understanding, she is there, patiently embracing him and making him feel that there is nothing at all wrong with him. SubhanAllah, the love and dedication that I have witnessed is remarkable.
These are truly special mothers; the ones who have to struggle each day with their children who they love with all their hearts. The ones who see their children and wonder what life would have been like if things were different. The ones whose love is evident every single moment as they cross the hurdles and overcome the difficulties. The ones who constantly have to go through the pain and difficulty of watching their children been cast out by others. The ones who try their utmost to make things better for their children, when everyone else believes that it’s no use trying that hard. These are special mothers, the ones who never give up, and who stand by their children, hand-in-hand, reminding them that someone will always be with them.!
We should never judge these mothers or how they interact with their children. Sometimes their actions might make us wonder and we can easily misinterpret their intentions. We should remember that every mother knows their child better than any other human, and this cannot be more true for these women who have spent their lives with their children.
May Allah (SWT) reward them in abundance and give them the highest stages of Paradise inshaa Allah.
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