I look at myself in the mirror, long hair falling down, over my shoulders. I know I’m supposed to be covering this beauty of mine, but somehow the headscarf just doesn’t seem to have a place on my head, at least not right now anyway, maybe one day, a long time from now, but definitely not now!
At least I’m wearing it in the evening. I’ve been told that there are many harmful things out there and the headscarf serves as protection. It’s not tied very tightly though, it’s almost falling off my head. Indoors...it’s off again; this piece of cloth just doesn’t seem to stick!
The Holy Qur’aan is being recited beautifully. The angels will not come near if a woman’s hair is uncovered. The headscarf finds its way back on; hair completely covered on this occasion.
I’m growing up now, a young woman of about 18 or 19. I know it’s really time that I don the headscarf, a guilty feeling brewing inside. Today I decide to take it with me; it’s hiding comfortably inside my handbag. A beautifully coloured one it is, a thin fabric with a patterned look, pieces of the fabric cut out to make it look fashionable. I try to take it out and put it on, who knows, it may even look very pretty, and it’s not really like a real headscarf, this is more like a fashion accessory. It stays inside the handbag though, stubborn and shy it remains!
My mum just returned from Hajj (Pilgrimage). She brought me back a stunning long, black headscarf. The gold trimming around it shines brightly and beautifully. This may just be The One! I wear it for a short while; it sits loosely on my head for a brief time. Then it elegantly slides down and rests on my neck, draping around my shoulders.
I’ve heard wonderful news! I’ve been favoured with an amazing gift- I’ve been chosen to go for Hajj. The most amazing experience of my life this is. My hair completely covered for a full 7 weeks.
The headscarf on occasion seems to protest, a little bit of the front of my hair becomes revealed. Aha! I find the solution very quickly; soft lovely coloured head caps to wear underneath.
I look at other women around me. One particular lady wears a long headscarf; draped beautifully around her head, falling down her shoulders and covering her breasts. It makes her look so pretty-Masha’Allah. This headscarf seems to make her radiate. I wonder how difficult it is to wear a headscarf that way; it seems to take her very long. ‘It’s very easy’, she tells me; ‘I’ll show you how to do it sometime’; ‘you’ll see, it’s really not that hard at all’.
She was right; it wasn’t that difficult after all. It took me a while to get used to, but it’s slowly becoming second nature. I never knew that wearing a headscarf could be this much fun, choosing different styles and coloured ones.
Today I look inside the mirror, my soft, long, two-toned headscarf draped twice around my head. Not a strand of my hair is showing. The hair remains neatly in place, headscarf finally sitting still. It’s found its place of belonging here, remaining steadfast on my head. I cannot do without it, leaving the house without it would be impossible! I do not see my long, brown hair, but I feel more beautiful than I ever did!
Who knows where we’ll go from here, but I sure do hope we never part! I have come to love my headscarf, and can’t imagine myself without it. I can’t imagine how I’d feel- lost, naked and exposed, perhaps. No way, I’m not doing without it, I always need to have it with me- to help protect and cover me! The journey’s been quite a long one, and I don’t know why I resisted to begin with, but if there’s one thing that I’ve learnt-it’s never, ever to think that anything right, and prescribed by Allah Almighty will be too difficult to attempt.
Allah can create ease even in the most difficult of things!
Image below from: www.germes-online.com/direct/dbimage/50206960...
May Allah guide us all Insha’Allah!
You have such an amazing and cathy way of writing! I can't stop reading your posts :) This one is really great, masha'Allah.
ReplyDeleteHello, I hope you're fine. I'm glad I found your blog. You write very well. I'm studying and I intend to convert to Islam soon, inshaAllah. The blogs have helped me a lot!
ReplyDeleteI hope that Allah will reward you for that. Sorry about my English, I'm from Portugal and I do not speak English (lol)
Dear Damarcia
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment, firstly there's nothing wrong with your English, you really don't have to apologise. I am sure that you know many other languages and yet you still manage to learn English, that's so great.
I am so happy to hear that you intend to convert to Islam, and I am honoured that you have found my blog to be useful. I pray that Allah Almighty makes it easy for you on your path towards him.
If you would like to know anything about Islam, if you need to udnerstand anything, or just wondering about something, or even if you just need someone to speak to, please know that I would be more than willing to assist in whatever way I can.
May Allah be with you sister and bless you in every way!
Thank you dear.Already have helped me a lot with your blog. Sorry, I had not seen the answer to that comment. It's been a long time, but I had to respond. You're a really fantastic person. I think you very beautiful and never even saw you. In fact all the Muslim women I have met so far are so beautiful, including you and that beauty is not seen by their style or their face, but by their personality and soul. I´m in love with Islam:)
ReplyDeleteDamarcia
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your lovely comment.You seem like a lovely person yourself. Once Allah opens your mind to the truth then you can easily understand the beauty of Islam and you will love it the more you come to learn about it.
Stay well always my dear;-}
Salam Alaikum,
ReplyDeleteAs a convert I had always thought that I was alone in the struggle of putting on a headscarf. I remember how I used to envy those Muslim women who had their scarves on at all times. ALHAMDULLAH who through His Grace has made it easy for me to wear my scarf at all times and confidently, and hope never to look back again. What I have realized as well is that through wearing my scarf I command more respect without saying a word.
Amina
ReplyDeleteWa-alaykum salaam
SubhanAllah that Allah has allowed you to find the beauty and purpose of the headscarf. Yes, this can be a struggle, and its not unique for converts, I think it's something that a lot of Muslimah's have to struggle with, epsecially in Western type societies, but ALhamdullillah, it is really a blessing as you have discovered. Allah Almighty does not oppress us, the hijab commands respect, Like you I also found people respecting me more because of it,Truly Allah is the Knower of all things, may He keep us steadfast in all that pleases Him, Inshaa-Allah.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, stay well