Why I think Allah has favoured women

The other day I woke up to perform my fajr salaah and it was really cold. I don’t know how but I somehow managed to pull myself out from underneath the warm blankets, and I have no idea how I managed to make my wudhu in that cold. Alhamdulillah soon I was performing my salaah in the warmth of my bedroom. A while before that I heard the front door opening as my father left home to go to the Masjid. I really did not want to be him right then, having to leave home and go out in the icy cold! Then I thought about how merciful Allah Almighty is. Here I get to stay indoors, comfortably performing my prayers while enjoying the warmth of my home, and I get the same blessings that my father gets and he has to leave the warmth of his home, and go out in the cold. Subhanallah, I was really convinced that morning that Allah (SWT) has favoured women.

Now I know that there are advantages and disadvantages of being a woman and the same goes for a man, but since people are always going on about how they think Islam favours men, I thought I’d bring up some more reasons why I think that women are actually the favoured ones. When I seriously consider the responsibility put on men’s shoulders, I’m glad to be a woman.

So, let’s consider some things here: Men have to go out and earn a living, and it’s their Islamic duty to provide for their families, they have no choice in the matter, and if they do choose not to fulfil this duty, then they have to account for this by Allah. Now for us women, when we earn money, we have no duty or obligation at all to provide for anyone, we can take all our money and spend it in whatever way we like, or we can save it, the point is; WE HAVE A CHOICE AS TO WHAT WE’D LIKE TO DO WITH OUR MONEY. Of course if we decide to use it in our homes, to assist and make things easier, then we are rewarded by Allah, but if we don’t do this, well, let’s just say, we will not be held accountable because this is allowed in Islam. Sounds very much like women are the favoured one’s doesn’t it? And while we’re on the topic of work and money, if a woman does not want to work she can stay at home and even though she does this, all her needs have to be seen to by the men in her family. I can see men thinking, ‘gosh that’s unfair, I wish I could stay at home and still have my needs seen to!”

It’s true that there is childbirth, period pains and PMS, which sometimes make us wonder why men got it so easy, but when we actually look at it, there are so many blessings in being a woman. Just for being pregnant there are so many blessings in its own, and then there are the rewards of breastfeeding and all in all, mothers were favoured three times before fathers were mentioned. In the jumuah lecture last week Friday the Imam spoke about parents and quoted a hadith, which I’m sure you’ve heard before. He said something to the effect that there was a sahaaba (R.A) who carried his mother on his back and took her for hajj and he came to the Prophet (S.A.W) and asked the prophet if he had fulfilled his mother’s rights, at which the prophet (S.A.W) replied something to the effect that his actions could not even repay his mother for one drop of breast milk that she had given him, Subhanallah!

All the talk about men being favoured really allows you to start thinking about these things, personally as a woman I have never felt that Islam favours men; in fact I’ve always believed that being a woman is something special, and sometimes I still can't believe that people say the things they do about Islam and women, it honestly makes me want to scream at times to think that they have gotten things so wrong. I think the problems begin to come in when people divert from the true Islamic teachings, but that’s another story altogether. It’s going to seem like I always go on about this, but really, the truth is that discrimination between men and women, and deciding that one gender is superior to the next comes from different cultural beliefs, beliefs and customs are adopted by some Muslims even though they have no basis in Islam, and this just ends up confusing many people.

The truth of the matter is that Allah created us all, men and women, and Allah has given us both certain roles, and rights and duties that come with these roles, and Allah (SWT) can never be prejudiced against anyone, most definitely not when it comes to gender. 

So even though I know that men and women are equal in the eyes of Allah Almighty, the next time I get to appreciate the warmth and comfort of my home, while the men in my family have to go out in the cold, I know I’m not going to be able to help myself and I’ll probably end up thinking that Allah has favoured me, and Allah knows best about every single thing!

Image from; http://www.123greetings.com/events/womens_day/flowers/women18.html

In dedication to a woman of true piety- Mariam (alaihis salaam)

A woman who epitomised purity,

She redefined all ideas of piety,

Beloved by the One Above,
Shining, soaring, like a white dove.

The Holy Book (Quraan) details her life,

Such a high status she was given,

Through all her struggles and her strife,

Her ultimate goal was always Heaven.

Blessed with the fruits from Jannah,

Her prayers were answered instantly,

Dedicated only to her Lord, definitely not a sinner,

To Allah did she turn, ever constantly.

The mother of a great Prophet,

Giving birth, alone, in complete isolation,

Her sacrifices were for all of our benefit,

Her life, from beginning to end, given to Allah in dedication.

She endured the mocking and gossip of her kinfolk,

With accusations against her so harsh, still her Lord did she invoke,

She carried out divine orders consistently,

And in her worship she continued persistently.

Oh what an amazing woman, words cannot express it properly!

Such endurance and courage she displayed,

Even when she was betrayed,

Her life remains a lesson, a true and perfect legacy.

This is our history, there for us all,

Her example we should try and emulate,

Even in ways so small,

There are no excuses and no reason to wait.

May Almighty Allah continue to shower peace on our beloved Mariam (alaihis salaam) and may Allah guide us all towards the true path. Insha'Allah Ameen!

Image from: www.sodahead.com/.../question-707483/

The ever constant power struggle

As I watched two women discussing finance and business on news it dawned on me that the times have definitely changed and with this has the roles of men and women. Now there’s nothing wrong with women knowing about business issues, indeed we have the role model of Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her), as a great business woman in the time of the Prophet (saw). But I remember days when the only thing women were called upon for were the more trivial issues; or at least things that were regarded as trivial by men (cooking, beauty, etc).

This got me thinking about how things have changed over the years and how the entire system has moved from “the powerful male”, to “the powerful female”. Of course there are many societies where men still believe they need to have ultimate power, but if we look around in mainstream society, we will see this shift very easily.

Popular television shows are one example of this. In the past male dominated shows, with male lead characters were the most popular; you’ll recall McGyver, Knight Rider, The A-Team (well at least those of us who were growing up in the 80s will). Now we have shows like Desperate Housewives, Gilmore Girls, Sex and the City... I’m sure you can find many more, and the common element is dominant female lead characters, with males in the background, mostly feeling emasculated and needing to find ways to assert their power... and this is the way of the world today.

In their bid to display their masculinity men revert to strange things, and in their bid to keep their power, women do even stranger things, and I’m thinking, “Is it that hard to live together in unity, with mutual power sharing”?

Once again this gets me thinking about the Islamic system, and I’m not talking about people’s own system of Islam which has been tainted with cultural practices and beliefs, I mean true Islam, the way we were taught to practice it by our beloved leader and teacher, Muhammad (May Allah shower His peace and blessings upon him).

Despite what people may argue, the Prophet (saw) lived the example of a true man, one who did not need to assert his masculinity or power in overt and sometimes harsh ways, this was a man who naturally had power, and because of this he was not afraid to seek advice from women, or regard women as equals.

Now, I’m not going to get into a gender debate here, my personal opinion is that gender debates become unnecessary within the true Islamic system. Men and women are given equal stake within a true Islamic system so there should be no need to debate this issue. Yes, there are different roles, especially so within a family context, but these roles are complimentary and are meant to maintain tranquillity.

What happens in this ever constant power struggle is that men and women become opponents of each other. They are constantly trying to find ways to outsmart each other, assert their power and integrity, demand respect and show who is really in charge, and thus the power struggle continues.

Allah (swt) tells us in the Holy Quraan that He created men and women as a comfort for one another, “garments”, to live “together in tranquillity”. So, basically, we’re supposed to be on the same team, are we not?

An important factor here is intention. When we do things for the love of Allah Almighty and submit to Allah’s will completely, then the power struggle becomes a joke, because we realize that in reality we are all powerless, when the One who has all the power is in control of everything, how can any of us still waste our time, fighting for power.

Again, let me just make it clear that I am not talking about oppressed people fighting for their rights. This is another story altogether. The everyday power struggle that we see occurring between genders, when oppression is absent, that’s what I’m talking about.

So yes, instead of investing our time in this strange power struggle, why don’t we try to invest it in attaining the peace and tranquillity that our Creator, Allah Almighty, intended us to have. I think that the more we look at it, the more we’ll realize how futile this power struggle really is.

Image from: dreamsincredibles.blogspot.com/2007/04/unders...

The Masjid- A Place of true love

I always knew that the function of going to the Masjid was more than just for prayer, but recently I was reminded of that once again.

The truth is that I don’t often go to the Masjid to perform my prayers, I usually perform them at home. The Masjid nearby me does not have a place for women to pray and to be honest, if it did, I don’t know if I would actually be a regular attendee, or if laziness would have overcome me and kept me at home anyway, Allah knows best.

In any case, recently I was performing my zuhr salaah at the Masjid and a fellow Muslim sister who came to stand next to me reminded me of the deeper function of the Masjid. The sister seemed to have a cold and because she was coughing aloud she turned to me and apologised. As I looked at her to tell her that it really didn’t matter and that she was not disturbing me at all, something strange overcame me. I felt a love in my heart, for my fellow Muslim sister, who I had never met before this day, someone I would probably never see again.

As we stood there side by side, going down together, bowing to our Lord Allah, in unison, it dawned on me that we were exactly the same, at that moment, our hearts united by our belief, our fingers moving the same way as we counted the amount of times we recited dhikr, we were one and the same, there was no difference at all. All that mattered was that we were Muslim sisters, and this is what had led me to feel love and compassion for this woman who I had met for the very first time.

Now what if we were praying together every day, in the same Masjid, 5 times a day, wouldn’t that unite us far more than this? Wouldn’t the love between sisters be far deeper then? Wouldn’t the compassion be more genuine, more heartfelt, and wouldn’t the need to support and help one another be more profound?

My Muslims sister greeted me warmly as we were leaving the Masjid, she made a small prayer for me in her greeting and we parted ways, we’ll probably never see each other again, but this momentary unity of our hearts will live on in the lesson it teaches.

It is even more clear to me now that the Masjid is above anything else a place of connection, not only do we connect with our Creator, but through the mercy of Allah (SWT) do we connect with one another as well, in a way that we cannot connect in any other setting or circumstance. Through our common belief are we united with people who we may never have associated with otherwise. It doesn't matter what our cultures or backgrounds are, what our interests or occupations are, what our status in society may be, at the Masjid we are all exactly the same and when all the superficialities of life are absent, then we are shown true love!

May Allah increase the love between Muslims insha'Allah Ameen.

Image from:media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/00/13...

How it feels to be an outsider

Here's another article a friend of mine sent to me about a Non-Muslim trying to figure out what it's like for Muslim women. This one is from Australia. It's interesting to see how people's opinions begin to change once they actually know what it feels like. Insha'Allah more people will begin to open their minds and go in search of real truth instead of blindly believing all that they are told. In these times when things are becoming increasingly difficult for Muslim women May Allah give all Muslims strength Insha'Allah.

This reminds me of a lecture by Sheikh Khalid Yasin entitled 'The strangers', if you haven't seen it you should check it out, its availabale for free download on http://www.kalamullah.com/. Alhamdulila this is a beautiful lecture which talks about how Muslims are different and this woman referring to Muslims as "outsiders" just reminded me of that.
***************************************************************************
How it feels to be an outsider

By LOUISE PEMBLE
13nov05

TO walk around Perth dressed as a Muslim is to be treated as an outsider in your own town.In a week of allegations that Muslims were plotting a terrorist attack in Australia, I donned full Islamic garb and walked through the city to gauge public reaction.

Would people see me as a harmless shopper, or would they suspect I was hiding a bomb under my clothes?

My mission was to test tolerance towards Muslims by dressing as one for the day. I had the full support of the Australian Federation of Islamic Councils, whose president, Ameer Ali, viewed it as a chance to highlight some of the issues faced by Australia's Muslims. I visited shops and cafes in Forrest Chase, Northbridge and Hay St Mall, before catching a bus and train. I was surprised at how accepting younger people were, suggesting that Perth may be able to shrug off racism. But I wasn't prepared for the hostility from older Australians. The first cheap shot came from an elderly woman walking through Forrest Chase. "Stupid woman," she hissed at her mate as they passed me. Later, as I was waiting at the crosswalk outside Perth railway station, a woman in her 60s saw me standing beside her and said to her companion: "Move away from the bomber."

With the help of Perth's Muslim community, I was fitted in black trousers, a long black dress called an abaya, a headscarf (hijab) and a facepiece (niqab). My eyes were the only visible part of my body. I chose the facepiece because I wanted to test its impact on others, but my Muslim adviser told me it was up to individuals to decide whether they wore just a headscarf or covered their entire face. My senses were on high alert the minute I stepped out of The Sunday Times building. Most people did a double take on seeing me and then either gave me a hostile stare or – in the case of several young women – smiled encouragingly. It soon became obvious that many people thought I was dressed this way as an act of defiance. In their view, I was snubbing my nose at the anti-Muslim feeling said to be running high in the Australian community. I had heard of Muslim women being spat at and abused. One woman even had her headscarf torn from her head at Carousel Shopping Centre. In the morning, I was accompanied by a Muslim woman wearing the headscarf, but not the facepiece that I wore. In our two hours of walking around the city we were twice subjected to vilification. "Imagine how this must affect you if it happened every time you left your house," she said. It was then I realised how much we take for granted our right to feel safe in our own community and how people take only seconds to decide if you are friend or enemy. But for every snide remark and hostile stare, I was surprised by the extra respect I was shown by young men and women. Every shopkeeper I approached was much more polite than I had experienced when dressed in my usual clothes. And on a train, where I feared I might be regarded as a suicide bomber, I was twice offered a seat. It was a similar story on a bus, which was standing room only. By this stage I had removed the niqab so that my face was showing – but nothing else. This seemed to ease some of the tension I had sensed earlier in the day.

Back at the office, workmates asked me how uncomfortable I had been walking around Perth in my Muslim clothes.

The icy stares on the street had forced me for the first time in my life to be wary of anyone who came near me.

Of all the garments I wore, the facepiece caused the most discomfort. With it positioned just under my eyes, I found it difficult to look straight down. It also made drinking a juice in a city cafe a challenge. On the plus side, I found being hidden under all those garments surprisingly liberating. For the first time I was able to walk down the street without the usual scrutiny of my figure, face and hair. (emphasis added by Zarina) On the downside, dressing as a Muslim woman showed me how it feels to leave home every day unsure of your own safety.