The Things We Miss Out On

Sometimes in our need for perfection, our need to always follow societal rules, our need to do things ‘the right way’, our need to be careful, our need to have structure in our lives and to always know exactly what is going on...or in our stubbornness in seeing things according to how we’ve been told we should see them, we tend to miss out on some very awesome things.

I’ve been thinking about this and here are some of the things that I think we miss out on for one or more of the reasons stated above:

â  We miss out on the sheer beauty of rain when we hastily make sure that we don’t get wet. –

     Yes I know that we’ve always been told that walking in the rain will make you sick, but this is not always true. When we stop and stand still, with sweet rain surrounding us, then we are able to appreciate the true miracle of rain.

â  We miss out on the beauty of shattered glass when we concern ourselves with the thing/s that have just broken-

     Have you ever noticed how beautiful shattered glass is? Each tiny little piece giving off its own shine, like a thousand little jewels. Of course we have to sweep it up otherwise someone is bound to get cut. But just before sweeping it up, if you take the time to observe it instead of becoming upset over the thing that has broken, you will see real beauty in those shattered pieces.

 

â  We miss out on the beauty of Winter because all we want to do is stay indoors in a warm place.

I’ve always wondered why people are so afraid of the cold. Once again we are told that you can get sick if you are out in the cold, but if you are dressed warmly enough then this isn’t that likely. I’ve been out in the cold many times and haven’t gotten sick because of it. I often notice that in Winter, those outdoor places which are so full of people in Summer, is empty as everyone is indoors. Maybe the outdoor quietness in winter makes it easier to appreciate how truly beautiful a winter’s day can be.

â  We miss out on the sweet smiles of innocent children because we are too busy shouting at them all the time.

People seem to constantly be shouting at children. There are all these rules which need to be followed , then there’s school and homework,  and there’s very little time for children to play. But when you take the time to watch them playing, you will observe their beautiful smiles and colourful laughter and you will remember the beauty that comes with innocence like that. Parents shouldn’t only appreciate their children when they are asleep.

  

â  We miss out on the beauty of a moth because we’ve been told that butterflies are more beautiful.

Most people regard moths as bothersome creatures, yet when they see butterflies they are delighted. I find this quite strange, considering how similar moths and butterflies really are. So moths may not have strikingly colourful wings, but have you ever noticed their wings. The artistry is amazing, SubhanAllah, and each moth has a different design on its wings. If you observe a moth you will know what I’m talking about.

(This one reminds me of what people are like also, we focus so much on popular ideas of beauty that we miss out on recognising true beauty in people).

â  We miss out on the early morning beauty when we sleep late

This one is self explanatory. Those who are usually awake before sunrise will know what I’m talking about. The beautiful skies just after the sun comes out can not be seen at any other time during the day, and not to mention the true peace which can only be found very early in the morning.

â  We miss out on our connection with our Creator when we are too busy with the creation

We’ve become so busy with everyday life that we are too tired to even think and ponder about the One who created us. Noise fills our lives in so many different forms and our minds are so full of the thousand different things we have to do that it’s hard to actually build a true connection with our Creator.

â  We miss out on the wisdom of the elderly when we cast them aside

One of our biggest downfalls in today’s times is that we do not make enough time for the elderly. A lot of the time older people are cast aside, put in nursing homes or not paid much attention to. This is to our own detriment. I mean can you imagine living for like 60 or 70 years, even 80 years in some cases. There’s no way you can live that long without learning anything valuable. When we spend time with old people we learn from their lessons as well as their examples.

I’m sure that if we all take the time we will find many other things that we miss out on, and in fact I urge anyone to write about what they think we miss out on as well.

I have learnt that true beauty and wisdom exists in the places and things we never expect to find them. Keep your eyes open and look beyond things and you will find it.

In dedication to a woman of paradise- Fatima (May Allah be pleased with her)

A history of great female role models
Perfect examples, the best of characters
And exceptional morals
A legacy for us all to follow

One such great lady was Fatima (May Allah be pleased with her)
Dearly beloved by her Blessed father (Peace be upon him)
A wonderful daughter, wife and mother

A woman of such high calibre

She has taught us about true beauty
And has shed light on reality
The epitome of modesty
In paradise will she receive her bounty

She willingly gave up worldly pleasures
So that she could have eternal treasures
A model of simplicity and utmost patience
No other woman can reach such high stations

No servants did she have to wait on her
To do her own housework she’d prefer
She put others needs above her own
Unselfishly giving and caring, with limits unknown

Oh Fatima, how could we dare to forget your example
You are a light in all of the darkness
What other way is better than the one you’ve shown
Why is it that your life is not better known?

Studying your life will bring us peace
It will help us to solve things with ease
Knowing your beauty will give us strength
Our love for you should have no length!

May Allah shower his blessings and peace on our beloved Fatima (May Allah be pleased with her)

Beauties and The Beast

Last year some time an esteemed international speaker was giving a talk at one of the local Masjid’s in Johannesburg. A friend of mine was given the task of welcoming the ladies who were attending and directing them to where they were supposed to go to listen to the talk. She asked me and another friend to join her as she stood at the entrance of the Masjid, waiting to greet the ladies.

This was a very interesting experience, never before had I seen so many Muslim women wearing niqab (the full face covering) coming together in one place. As the ladies approached, they all greeted and embraced us and then moved on to find a place to sit. It was not the fact that so many Muslim women in Johannesburg actually wear the niqab that struck me, but the fact that all these women were beautifully dressed, and even more beautifully made up with stunning colours of eye-make up to lipstick and sweet smelling perfumes.
 Now, there’s a misunderstanding that Muslim women are not allowed to make themselves look beautiful, but in actual fact this is allowed, just within limits. If a Muslim woman is only associating with and meeting other women then this is allowed, and obviously, this beauty is encouraged within a marital relationship where a woman should beautify herself for her husband.
 As we took our shoes off to enter the Masjid, I looked at my plain black, flat shoes- in relation to all the Cinderella like slippers I saw around me, my shoes looked sad and ugly. There were pencil heels and pointed shoes, sandals with glitter, shoes with flowers and even some with crystals.
 The ladies wore stunning abayas in many different styles and shapes, with fancy sleeves and shiny fabric. Their headscarves were immaculate and tied beautifully as it elevated their natural beauty. Now, I am not going to go on about the description of my sisters because this is not a very good thing either and it might provoke more curiosity about what a woman looks like underneath her veil.

I will tell you this though, I thought about myself; a regular old plain Jane, and I could not help feeling very much like the beast amongst all these beauties!

I guess you never can judge a book by its cover, and just because a Muslim woman covers herself completely, it does not mean that she has given up her femininity or her ability to look beautiful, because one thing is for sure, these women who were completely covered, took more care of themselves and beautified themselves more than many of us ever do, and all of this was within the confines of Islamic law!

So, the next time you look at a woman who is fully covered, perhaps you will remember that she probably knows more about beauty and fashion than you do and I sure do hope that you won’t be inclined to feel sorry for her, and hopefully you won’t remain stuck on the idea that she is not allowed to be beautiful, or that her face covering means an end to her femininity, and finally I think that it would be great if you could look beyond her veil and realize that she is a human being, a woman who has feelings and needs like all women do, and maybe, just maybe you will begin to understand that there is more to her than what she wears on the outside. I don’t know about you, but I can safely say, that day at the Masjid will remain a clear reminder to me, if ever I was to forget this!

Image from: www.calla-salon.co.uk/stock_makeup.jpg

In Dedication to Our Great Mother- Ayesha (May Allah Be Please with her)

She surpassed them all in knowledge,
What she learnt was not from any College.
She had the Best of Teachers,
The one favoured by Allah above all creatures.

Her knowledge was not restricted,
Religion, medicine, poetry, were some of her areas of expertise,

She had patience when afflicted,

When people slandered her she was given divine ease.


She was so ready to defend,
The religion of truth to the very end;
She could not be deterred,
Once her mind was made up, her conviction could not be stirred!


The epitome of bravery,
Very, very far from oppression and slavery;
She stood for honour and truth,

Always ready to cite what she knew of hadeeth.

She relayed what she had heard from the Prophet (SAW),
In plain and simple terms, without any effort;
Her memory was excellent,
And in faith and courage did she never wilt.

This headstrong lady is our legacy,

A true Mother of the Faithful Believers,
Her life goes down in history,
An excellent role model, one of the Best Achievers!


Her piety and fear of Allah was so strong,
Even though she hardly committed any wrong,
At times she wished that she was like a tree,
In Paradise she wanted to be!


She was afraid to account for her deeds,
Because she feared what would await her,
To Allah she was so near,
And yet she cried and worried about what her fate would be.


People spread many lies about her,
But we Muslims hold her very dear,
She was very beloved by the Prophet (SAW),

And all that they say is just truth distorted!

The truth of the matter is simple and clear,

Oh! If we could even come near,

If we were only a little bit like her,

We’d be filled with true beauty and honour!


Oh, Ayesha, May Allah be pleased with her,
Our beloved and dear mother,

Oh, faithful and honoured believer,

We will always remember your fervour!

Your example we will try hard to emulate,

We’ll teach it to our sisters and daughters,

We’ll completely ignore those who speculate,

And we will use your life story to enlighten ours!

May Allah (SWT) guide us all on our journey of life and make it easy for us to practise the example of this beautiful lady, Insha’Allah Ameen!

Evolution of a headscarf

I look at myself in the mirror, long hair falling down, over my shoulders. I know I’m supposed to be covering this beauty of mine, but somehow the headscarf just doesn’t seem to have a place on my head, at least not right now anyway, maybe one day, a long time from now, but definitely not now!


At least I’m wearing it in the evening. I’ve been told that there are many harmful things out there and the headscarf serves as protection. It’s not tied very tightly though, it’s almost falling off my head. Indoors...it’s off again; this piece of cloth just doesn’t seem to stick!


The Holy Qur’aan is being recited beautifully. The angels will not come near if a woman’s hair is uncovered. The headscarf finds its way back on; hair completely covered on this occasion.


I’m growing up now, a young woman of about 18 or 19. I know it’s really time that I don the headscarf, a guilty feeling brewing inside. Today I decide to take it with me; it’s hiding comfortably inside my handbag. A beautifully coloured one it is, a thin fabric with a patterned look, pieces of the fabric cut out to make it look fashionable. I try to take it out and put it on, who knows, it may even look very pretty, and it’s not really like a real headscarf, this is more like a fashion accessory. It stays inside the handbag though, stubborn and shy it remains!


My mum just returned from Hajj (Pilgrimage). She brought me back a stunning long, black headscarf. The gold trimming around it shines brightly and beautifully. This may just be The One! I wear it for a short while; it sits loosely on my head for a brief time. Then it elegantly slides down and rests on my neck, draping around my shoulders.


I’ve heard wonderful news! I’ve been favoured with an amazing gift- I’ve been chosen to go for Hajj. The most amazing experience of my life this is. My hair completely covered for a full 7 weeks.

I’m back at home now; I feel that the blessings of Hajj still remain with me. The most important blessing- the headscarf seems to be stuck on me! A square cotton one; folded in half to make a triangle. It’s comfortable and cool, tied up with a safety pin.


The headscarf on occasion seems to protest, a little bit of the front of my hair becomes revealed. Aha! I find the solution very quickly; soft lovely coloured head caps to wear underneath.


I look at other women around me. One particular lady wears a long headscarf; draped beautifully around her head, falling down her shoulders and covering her breasts. It makes her look so pretty-Masha’Allah. This headscarf seems to make her radiate. I wonder how difficult it is to wear a headscarf that way; it seems to take her very long. ‘It’s very easy’, she tells me; ‘I’ll show you how to do it sometime’; ‘you’ll see, it’s really not that hard at all’.


She was right; it wasn’t that difficult after all. It took me a while to get used to, but it’s slowly becoming second nature. I never knew that wearing a headscarf could be this much fun, choosing different styles and coloured ones.


Today I look inside the mirror, my soft, long, two-toned headscarf draped twice around my head. Not a strand of my hair is showing. The hair remains neatly in place, headscarf finally sitting still. It’s found its place of belonging here, remaining steadfast on my head. I cannot do without it, leaving the house without it would be impossible! I do not see my long, brown hair, but I feel more beautiful than I ever did!


Who knows where we’ll go from here, but I sure do hope we never part! I have come to love my headscarf, and can’t imagine myself without it. I can’t imagine how I’d feel- lost, naked and exposed, perhaps. No way, I’m not doing without it, I always need to have it with me- to help protect and cover me! The journey’s been quite a long one, and I don’t know why I resisted to begin with, but if there’s one thing that I’ve learnt-it’s never, ever to think that anything right, and prescribed by Allah Almighty will be too difficult to attempt.


Allah can create ease even in the most difficult of things!

Image below from: www.germes-online.com/direct/dbimage/50206960... 

 

May Allah guide us all Insha’Allah!

So...what’s it really like to be a Muslim woman?

The media seems to know, all types of books from novels, to academic books claim to know...in fact, now that I think of it, it seems everyone these days knows what’s it like to be a Muslim woman!


We’ve heard it all, all the opinions, the theories, discussions and discourses, the comments about Muslim women. What we don’t hear often enough though is what a Muslim woman thinks it’s like to be a Muslim woman. Ironic, isn’t it?


It can become extremely frustrating listening to these people. I can’t help thinking, ‘Oh gosh! Not another person who doesn’t have a clue what it’s like to be a Muslim woman, talking about Muslim woman’. I mean, seriously, could you imagine what it would be like if I went around talking about, I don’t know, say, what it’s like to be a European male, when I have absolutely no idea what it’s like at all. It would be ridiculous right? People would question what makes me an expert in the field and they would undoubtedly argue that I cannot possibly know what it’s like to be a European male.


So why the double standard when it comes to talking about Muslim women?


Yes, sure it can be argued that research has been done on the issue and thus people are given leeway to talk. I have to agree that there is some research that is accurate, but surely every person talking about Muslim woman today has not taken the time to make an intense inquiry and rigorous examination into this topic before talking about it. It would be impossible for every person to do this given the fact that it’s extremely time consuming, costs quite a bit of money and requires the proper expertise.


So, does the saleslady in the shop who had to mention to my sister how sorry she feels for Muslim women wearing the headscarf, all the while abusing the word “shame”, qualify to make statements about us? Or, do the group of men who had to comment on my friends complete Islamic attire as we walked passed them in the shopping centre qualify to make statements about us? Have these people dedicated time to learning about the lives of Muslim women by spending time with us, or have they even just bothered to ask us our opinion? I think not!


So, what’s it really like to be a Muslim woman? Well, for starters, it’s really frustrating that we have to hear everyone and anyone talking about us like they’re experts in the field. What’s more frustrating is that they’ve got it all wrong! And it’s irritating that they hardly ever come to us to ask us what we think or how we feel, instead they’ve just taken it upon themselves to “liberate” us, when we don’t even want the “liberation” they’re offering. And, while we have come to love the way we dress because this makes us feel closer to our Creator, they’ve decided to take up issue with it, expecting it to be natural for us to want to shed the clothing that we’ve come to love. And what’s worse is that even when we try to speak to them, when we try to show them that we are educated and intelligent and perfectly capable of engaging in conversation with them, they turn their backs on us, and hear only what they want to!


So, I think it’s time we speak for ourselves, and so I’m saying with absolute conviction (and I promise you, no male oppressor is holding a gun to my head forcing me to say positive things about being Muslim), - so on my own accord I’m stating that I absolutely love being a Muslim woman! I love the clothes I have chosen to wear and when I go out in the street it makes me feel good to know that I don’t have to bother about males staring at me in the wrong way. I love the headscarf covering my hair, and I enjoy choosing which colour I’m going to wear with which outfit. I love that my religion, Islam, has afforded me enough respect and honour to insist that I be treated as a human being, and not an object of male desire. I love that people address me with respect, Muslims as their sister and non-Muslims as a virtuous woman. I love that I don’t have to go out and work because the males in my family know that it’s their duty to provide for me; at the same time, I love that I can go out and work because as a Muslim woman I am respectful of myself and others and I will thus behave in a fitting manner. I love that as a Muslim I am encouraged to gain knowledge in all areas as far as I possibly can. There are many things that I love about being a Muslim woman, but the thing I love the most is that owning up to my identity as a Muslim woman has brought me closer to my Creator, and in that way I am beginning to learn what true love is all about.

www.hickerphoto.comAdmitting that I am a Muslim woman, a Muslim woman in this time when all eyes are on us, makes me feel happy because being a Muslim woman is really not about dressing in a certain manner, or staying indoors, or whatever else people have reduced it to. Being a Muslim woman is about being a whole person, a person who can find harmony between her spiritual and physical self, a person who knows that her intellect is as important as her outside beauty. I have not chosen to be a Muslim woman, I was fortunate enough to be born a Muslimah, but I have chosen to assert my identity as a Muslim woman, and if I was to choose again, I’d make the same choice, over and over and over again, because being a Muslim woman is simply marvellous and anyone who disagrees with me has either not understood Islam properly, or have been unfortunate enough to be around people who have not understood Islam properly.

So, there it is- a simple answer to what has seemingly become a very complicated question. What’s it really like to be a Muslim woman? ... In one word- It’s Great! (Alhamdulila- Thanks to Allah)

If you really want to see how it’s possible for me to say this, then keep reading this blog, I pray that eventually you begin to understand!