Celebration of beauty?

The world is a buzz, once again with a woman at the centre of the sensationalism. The recently crowned Miss USA 2010 is being hailed as the “first Muslim Miss USA” and many people regard this as a victory. I will not go into the contradictions that this involves; the implications are obvious enough to have many eye brows raised. The whole idea of a beauty pageant in itself is ridiculously exploitative, and instead of celebrate a woman’s beauty, it turns her into this object of adoration and lust. Below all the glitz and glamour, how many people really take ‘beauty queens’ seriously? But that’s not a concern here; most people already understand the absurdity of beauty pageants.

This has got me thinking though, at this point and time in life, amidst the banning of the niqab and burqa in more than one European country; I don’t believe it is a coincidence that this woman with Arab- Lebanese roots becomes crowned as Miss USA.

The sad thing is that once again a woman has being used in the game of politics, and it’s even sadder that she is oblivious to this, happily smiling waving and jumping for joy , celebrating her title as a beauty queen. Crowning this Arab woman as Miss USA, is telling the world, ‘hey look, she’s a Muslim, and she’s liberated, beautiful and sexy”, and the point this is making is basically, “you see, Muslim women don’t need to cover up their beauty, it can also be celebrated”. Really, think about it, why else would they make such a big deal of this?

It plays well within the current political climate doesn’t it? While they’re plotting and planning, banning the veil and burqa, fining women for dressing how they want to (which is blatantly preposterous and nobody does anything about it), here emerges the first Muslim Miss USA, and she definitely isn’t wearing any burqa, veil or even headscarf. So what this does is strengthen their argument against the veil, seemingly making it as if religion has nothing to do with the veil and someone can be a Muslim without all that “covering up”.

Using women for bigger agenda’s is not something new. If you study historical events you will see that this is commonplace. Women are always regarded as weaker human beings who can be exploited and used in many ways to get men to succumb. In this case, it’s just being candy coated so it looks good on the outside and nobody will question it.

So for those people who see this as evidence that America is definitely “the land of the free”, where people of all faiths are embraced and where diversity is celebrated in all spheres, even beauty pageants, I urge you to think again. In my opinion this is nothing more but a socio-political tactic, a woman once again being used as a pawn in the great game. It’s really saddening to see that in so-called modern times, such archaic methods are still being employed.

Nevertheless, there are those people who have not been fooled by the deception and illusion that we are currently being fed; those that can see through the hidden agendas and who wishes not to celebrate false victories. Those who understand real truth and real beauty will understand exactly what I’m trying to say here.

Image from:www.sashes.com/i/Sashes/AO-B_Sash.jpg

In dedication to a woman of paradise- Fatima (May Allah be pleased with her)

A history of great female role models
Perfect examples, the best of characters
And exceptional morals
A legacy for us all to follow

One such great lady was Fatima (May Allah be pleased with her)
Dearly beloved by her Blessed father (Peace be upon him)
A wonderful daughter, wife and mother

A woman of such high calibre

She has taught us about true beauty
And has shed light on reality
The epitome of modesty
In paradise will she receive her bounty

She willingly gave up worldly pleasures
So that she could have eternal treasures
A model of simplicity and utmost patience
No other woman can reach such high stations

No servants did she have to wait on her
To do her own housework she’d prefer
She put others needs above her own
Unselfishly giving and caring, with limits unknown

Oh Fatima, how could we dare to forget your example
You are a light in all of the darkness
What other way is better than the one you’ve shown
Why is it that your life is not better known?

Studying your life will bring us peace
It will help us to solve things with ease
Knowing your beauty will give us strength
Our love for you should have no length!

May Allah shower his blessings and peace on our beloved Fatima (May Allah be pleased with her)

An educated Muslim woman?

I had a strange encounter last week which got me thinking about things. As I was walking towards our weekly ladies workshop session with a box of savoury goodies (it was almost tea time), a man who was sweeping stopped me and asked what was in the boxes. I explained to him that it was snacks for the ladies in our workshop. The exchange between us was short and simple, to the point, a common, everyday encounter. Then as I was walking away he asked me an odd question. “How come you speak English so well?” I looked at the man very confused because as a South African citizen, English is my first language. Although there are 11 official languages, I unfortunately only speak 2 of them, the other being Afrikaans. So I mumbled some stupid response like, “uhm, English is my home language, I’m from South Africa”, thinking that maybe the man thought I was from another country because I am Muslim. But, then he said, “well, you must be very educated”.

Okay, so how did he come to that conclusion from our simple exchange, really the reply I gave him was simple, I did not use complicated words or anything like that, and most Muslim women I know, whether they are educated or not speak English the same as I do. This got me thinking, what do people really think when it comes to Muslim women and education. Do they think that we lack knowledge and that we are not even able to have a simple everyday conversation? Perhaps this was not the case with the man in question, if I had more time I probably would have asked him what his reasoning was and so on. Generally though, what do people really think about Muslim women and is it that strange to see a Muslim woman who is educated?

It seems to me that people have the wrong idea about education, at least here in South Africa that is the case within the Muslim community. There’s a clear divide between what is called “secular” education and “religious” education which never quite made sense to me since all knowledge comes from Allah. But this divide goes back to the way in which people treat education. You see, for many people, education is equated with monetary gain, a formal job, the corporate persona and so on. So it’s strange to see a Muslim women, dressed in hijab and a cloak, working in the community, who is educated, because it’s more common for university graduates to be out in the workplace, fitting in with the modern, urban lifestyle.

Maybe this is why so many Muslims regard education as something that is not for Muslim women. Perhaps people believe that religion and formal education cannot go together. Of course at this point I’m thinking about how unnecessary and utterly absurd all of this is. I mean, in the time of the Prophet (SAW) women were extremely educated and yet they were the perfect Muslim female role models as well. Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) had knowledge in all areas, her knowledge was not restricted to what is regarded today as “religious knowledge”. The same applied to the Prophet’s daughter Fatima (May Allah be pleased with her) and in fact with many of the women of that time. Yet, today it’s strange to find an educated Muslim woman who wants to strive to excel in her formal studies and at the same time wants to strive to be the best Muslimah that she can be.

Alhamdulila, this complete split between what is regarded strictly as religious knowledge and all other knowledge is slowly beginning to change and there are many people, especially young Muslim women who are realizing that they can be educated and still use that education to enhance their own lives as well as the general Muslim community. Hopefully soon the idea of having an educated Muslim woman will cease to be something strange and come to be accepted as a norm.

Image from:  www.umassd.edu/charlton/birc/academic.jpg

The obsession with body image

Today I had to conduct a psychological assessment with a young girl who amongst other things, is struggling with anorexia. Obviously I cannot give away details of the case but this just made me think about things. Here’s this young girl, 16 turning 17 soon, intelligent, seemingly warm and kind, with so much potential and so many opportunities ahead of her, and yet all she is “taught” to focus on is the way her body looks. She and many other young girls like her, have been led to believe that a woman’s body is the most important thing.

It makes me so angry when I think that this ridiculous obsession with women’s bodies has become so extreme that anorexia and bulimia are diseases that occur so commonly. It’s distressing when you consider what a woman has to go through and how low her self-image and confidence has to be for her to cause such grievous harm to herself, and for what? All in the name of “beauty”?

I don’t have to tell you where this comes from, we all know quite well how society’s ideas of the beautiful body has shifted over the years. There used to be times when fat or big women were regarded as the beautiful ones because thin women were regarded as unhealthy. Now, extra skinny women have become the norm, their bodies regarded as the ideal of beauty, to such an extent that for celebrities and models it’s unusual if you are not anorexic or bulimic. This is saddening for many different reasons.

When you think about all this it makes it easier to understand the persistent need to uncover Muslim women. It makes sense why people can’t leave Muslim women to dress how they want to. When Muslim women cover themselves up, this defies the norms of society. It’s not easy to tell exactly what a women’s body looks like when she is all covered up in loosely fit clothing. If you can’t see what another woman’s body looks like then you only have yourself as the guide, and you don’t have to weigh yourself up according to others perceptions of beauty, and thus, you become satisfied with your own body image. Covering up is not about hiding, it’s about being reminded that a woman is more than just a beautiful body. In fact, covering up is about the assertion that all women are beautiful, despite what their bodies look like. There doesn’t have to be one “ideal” that the rest of us should be tirelessly struggling towards. Every woman’s body is ideal for her and covering up makes it clear that no one has the right to decide for a woman what her body should look like.

I am convinced that the entire fashion industry serves only to lower the self-esteem and confidence of women, leaving them unhappy and unsatisfied, constantly yearning to fit in with the common perception, or I’d like to say “mis-perception” of what it is to be beautiful. Let’s not even mention the financial gain that comes from things related to dieting and slimming, from books to pills to every imaginable exercise device, it’s an ever expanding business, isn’t it?

Every woman knows what it feels like to go into a clothing store, see an item of clothing that you like, try fitting it on and find that the size “small” doesn’t fit right or that the “medium” is too tight and now you have to buy a “large”. It becomes distressing for women, and more often than not they end up feeling unattractive, and seriously, this really does not help with their self-esteem. Yet these differences that have been created between clothing sizes are so superficial it’s ridiculous. One day I did a little experiment. I took size “small” pants and measured it up against a size “large”. The difference was minimal, a few centimetres only, that’s all...a few centimetres differentiating between what is considered “small” and what is considered “large”. Then I thought about the impact of these few centimetres. A woman who takes a size “large” is made to feel that she is overweight, unattractive, etc, while a woman who takes a size “small” is regarded as beautiful, petite and “ideal”; and the difference is a few centimetres! Can you begin to understand the superficiality in all this? Everything defined by clothing sizes and weight, it’s sickening to say the least.

Now I’m not saying that Muslim women are immune to all this, because unfortunately we are all a part of this superficial, warped system of thinking. But, when you begin to don clothing based on covering yourself up then sizes don’t matter anymore because you begin to understand that it really is not important at all. So whereas before I may have bought my clothes according to size, now I make sure that I buy my clothes according to how much of my body it will conceal, and so naturally I don’t have a set size, it fluctuates, and this gives me freedom from the oppressive system of boxing women up according to different sizes, and of course, this is only one of the benefits.

I’m not saying that women shouldn’t take care of their bodies, by all means they should; through healthy eating, cleanliness, good grooming and even exercise, women should take care of their bodies, but there’s a difference between taking care of your body and becoming obsessed with your body image.

One has to wonder, why all this focus on women’s bodies? Many women will argue that it’s about liberation and freedom. They believe that showing off their bodies makes them free, they are convinced that they are making this choice to reveal their beautiful bodies... honestly this has never made complete sense to me. I mean, I get how a woman would feel that it’s her choice, and so on and so forth, but who is admiring that beautiful body? The answer to that is obvious, but I’ll point it out anyway, it’s the men who are gawking and staring at her! And if she gains pleasure from having men stare at her body then how can this be freedom? How can it be freedom when it’s dependent on something that someone else does? Would a woman be so ready to freely reveal her body if it did not fit in with popular ideas of beauty? For any woman who says yes, I have to ask, why then do women go on crash diets and fitness programmes and so on, in preparation for summer, to make sure that when they reveal their bodies, it fits in with mainstream ideas of a beautiful body. I don’t know about you, but I believe that true freedom is deciding what makes me feel happy or not, what I am comfortable with and not what men like, or what other people have decided is beautiful.

So, now I have to wonder, is it liberating to constantly have to worry about everything you eat because you are afraid of gaining weight? Is it liberating to guiltily eat food only to experience self induced vomiting thereafter? Is it liberating to have to deal with the pressures of not fitting in to your size 8 clothing? Is it liberating to look at yourself in the mirror every single day and never be satisfied with what you see because it doesn’t fit in with popular ideas of beauty? Is it liberating to deny all the other factors that make you up, like your intelligence, your inner beauty and warmth, your caring nature, your personality, your friendliness, only because these things don’t matter in the world out there? Is all this liberating?

I think that it’s time that people stopped focusing on a woman’s outside body as if it’s the thing that defines her. I think it’s time people began to realize that a woman is much more than the physical being that they see; that she exists on all levels-spiritual, psychological, social, intellectual, and physical. I will argue that the Islamic system comes the closest to this ideal way of seeing a woman, and yes I am totally aware that many people will argue against my assertion, but I will stick to it nonetheless!

To all my sisters, Muslim and non-Muslim, you should not allow yourself to be defined by body image, you are more than that, you are beautiful in many ways, and you will only begin to see that when you stop spending so much time and effort focusing only on beautifying your body.

May Allah Almighty give us all true guidance and correct understanding and may Allah grant us satisfaction and gratitude with all that He has given us, Insha'Allah Ameen!
 
Image 1 from: dietplan4you.biz/.../dieting_weight_control.jpg
Image 2 from: www.mindinfocus.co.uk/.../weight_loss_help.jpg

Announcement- Hijab Diaries Blog

Please read the post below!!! This is going to be great insha'Allah!!!

Sister's you have to particpate in this! Brothers, you can encourage the ladies in your life to share their stories.

Asalaam wa Alaykum


Sisters, every girl or woman, no matter what your status is, when you decide to wear Hijab or progress to a stage of higher Hijab, the decision is not always as simple as should be. Yes, it is part of our Islam to adorn the Hijab, but many of us, especially those of us who live in the Western world, do not wear any form of Hijab. No judgement on any person, Allah is the judge and we should support each other and guide and teach one another to become better people.

To think back, there were always a lot of questions I had, and always thoughts of doing the right thing followed by my whims to not give up my so called “Freedom”. But once I came back from Umrah Allah shukr, everything became really simple, but I kid you not, I still had a fight ahead of me. There were days of frustration, that I felt that my face looked a little fatter, or that my scarf made me look really clumsy and that it did not blend in really well with my different environments.

What really helped was talking to other ladies, those who already adorn the Hijab and those who were thinking of doing it. Together we shared our experiences, triumphs and glory days, there were also the bad days, which get even lesser as the days go by and you get stronger. That’s when the fun kicks in, it’s amazing, and yes Hijab can be fun.

Appreciating the journey of wearing hijab made me want to do something where other sisters could also begin to appreciate their own journeys. After much pondering , Allah (SWT) guided me towards a fellow Muslim sister and together we came up with this fantastic idea about a blog called, “Hijab Diaries”, where you can tell us about your experiences, share or ask for advice, and this is especially wonderful for our youth, and to promote Hijab amongst them.

So here you go sisters please take advantage of this blog, it’s your platform and opportunity to be heard and to help others in need.

Sister’s each one of us has our own “hijab story” to tell, how we came to wear hijab, what motivated us, what it was like, how people reacted to us and so on and so forth. This is the place for you to share that story. Please send your stories to hijab.diaries@gmail.com and insha’Allah we will post it on the blog. You can follow the link below to get to the blog:

http://www.hijab-diaries.blogspot.com/

This blog is for all Muslim sisters, it is all of ours so we would love to see many stories posted.

So off you go and start writing your story, and we will do the same!

By Zeenat Sirkhot in association with Zarina Hassem