Thursday, February 27, 2014

Broken people

It’s sad to say that in my observations and experience of life, I have seen many people who I can only describe as “broken”.

Now I know that using the word “broken” to describe human beings may sound a little offensive and cold, but honestly there is no better way to describe it, and I only use this word as an analogy in trying to get my point across. You see, my work results in me coming into contact with all sorts of people, or rather, people with all sorts of problems, and recently I've been thinking that it all boils down to one thing, people have been broken. At some point in their lives, some time, most often in their childhood when they were supposed to be cared for and nurtured, they have tragically been broken.

Sometimes it’s not what has been done to them that has broken them (although this often is the case), but it’s also what hasn't been done that results in people becoming broken. An absent parent, a nasty teacher, a sibling who bullies, a friend who betrays, all these types of things leads to people becoming broken. Of course there are more intense forms which results in worse damage. Things like abuse for instance, not only breaks a person, it shatters them.

What happens when people are broken is that a big chunk of who they naturally are gets taken away, and what’s left is a gap, or more than one gap depending on the situation. So you find people spending the rest of their lives relentlessly trying to reclaim what’s been taken just so that they can fill the void and feel whole again. But, even more sadly, people try everything and anything to fill those gaps, only to be sorely disappointed, time and time again, and over time, those empty spaces only get bigger and darker.

So how does one become “fixed” or “whole”? There’s a misconception that finding love will fill that emptiness, but this is one of the most problematic misconceptions you can find. Expecting a partner to fill your emptiness is sort of like trying to fill a sand hole with water. What happens when you fill a hole in the sand with water? Does it become solid? Can it be sustained? NO, it cannot, instead, the water begins to erode the rest of the sand, turning whatever solid sand there was into mush.

This is because sand is needed to fill a sand hole. Just like parents love is needed to fill the emptiness caused by absent parents, or like reassurance and reformation from a sibling is needed in a case where the sibling was the bully, and so on. But, because the material needed to fill the holes inside people is not so readily available, especially after a build up over many years, people remain in search of something to help them, because in the end, most people just need peace and contentment, most people just want to feel whole!

But there’s hope, there’s always hope, even when the picture seems bleak, there are still solutions. Sometimes this comes from inner strength being nurtured, but in my opinion there is only one flop proof method to “fix” the broken holes in people. This is to connect with the One Creator. (SubhanAllah- Glory be to Allah).

Connecting to the Creator, the Source of Life, the One who has loved us even before we came into this world, is like Gold! So what happens if you fill holes with absolutely pure gold- those holes will never be able to erode, will they? 

I marvel at the people who are able to rise above their difficulties and stand up straight, not letting life affect them to the extent that they become completely broken. And I see something common in these people, it is their strong faith which leads to optimism and hope. Faith is central to living a happy life, without faith, people may just continue to remain broken, and the cracks and holes may just get deeper and deeper.

So, this reminds me that we need Faith to survive, to be whole, and to save ourselves from becoming broken to the extent that we cannot be fixed. Our survival is dependent on faith, and we cannot afford to break our connection with the Almighty Creator, because if we do that, we will always remain broken, lost in this world, constantly searching for ways to be fixed.

May Allah Almighty guide us all towards Him, may Allah protect us, guide us and be our source of peace and happiness always! And may Allah help those who have been broken!

Image 1 from here
Image 2 from here
Image 3 from here


  1. Beautiful post Zarina. I agree with you, only faith can save us. God is the only one able to take away our pain and heal our wounds. Without him we are lost.
    Stay well and blessed my friend.

  2. Thanks for your comment Marie, truly we are lost without God, may we be saved from that.

    You stay well and in peace too;-)

  3. "Our survival is dependent on faith, and we cannot afford to break our connection with the Almighty Creator, because if we do that, we will always remain broken, lost in this world, constantly searching for ways to be fixed." Well said Zarina :)

    I have been there. Only Allah and a strong will can remove the pain and fear of change.

  4. Salma

    Thanks for your comment, Alhamdulillah, then you are testimony to the fact that our connection with Allah can help us to heal, with this in sha Allah we can overcome anything and become positive people.

    May Allah Almighty keep you strong and positive always;-)