Monday, December 23, 2013

What If?

What if we all followed the rules of Islam to perfection?

Women wouldnt have the obsessive need to validate themselves by appealing to men. We wouldnt spend hours making ourselves look good so that males could be attracted to us (please note this does not apply to making yourself look attractive for your husband). We wouldnt put ourselves through physical and emotional pain just so that we can experience love and a feeling of belonging. We wouldnt try so hard to make unhealthy relationships work. We wouldnt risk our psychological well-being and more importantly our faith and religious beliefs simply so that we dont become old maids who never marry.

What would women be like then, if the rules of Islam were followed to perfection?

Its simple really, wed be like Queens. Precious pearls protected by beautiful shells. Men would have to first get permission to speak to us and even then, the interaction would ensure that they do not take advantage of us. Men would have to be straight up and honest because while they might get away with playing on the sympathy of us soft and caring females, our male relatives will be able to see right through deceit, lies and all types of falsehood. We wouldnt have to make ourselves look fake or spend hours trying to look like perfect supermodels. Instead, we would realize that we are a whole human being and that our piety, our character and our intellect is far more crucial than the way we look. We wouldnt care if some human being was impressed with us, because wed know that we should impress our Creator above anything else, and wed be certain that when we impress our Creator then He will put the right people in our lives.

In short, we wouldnt have to try so hard, wed be happier, wed be more accepting of ourselves, wed be grateful for all that we are and our self-esteem would be stable and healthy (as opposed to continuously receiving a bashing from none other than ourselves).

Islam has given women importance and respect, we have traded that importance for the illusion of love and attention.  So instead of spending our time becoming closer to Allah Almighty, we spend our time hopelessly waiting for messages from strange men, for signs and signals to show us that hes interested, for the time he will say he loves us and wants to spend his life with us, and more often than not the waiting is accompanied with the obsessive need to make ourselves better, just so that a mere mortal can be interested in us and give us love and attention, because somehow, somewhere, the message that a woman can only be validated or important if she has a man who adores her, has managed to be planted into our minds.  

But what if we focused instead on pleasing the One who will never let us down?
What if we tried hard each day to make ourselves better for Allah Almighty, Glory be to Him?

What if we stopped telling ourselves that we have failed if we did not manage to hook the perfect catch?

What if we understood that by forgoing the rules of Islam, we as women are giving away the royalty we have been afforded, by none other than the Creator! And by letting go of this we open the doors to being abused and used, physically and emotionally.

What if we reminded ourselves that we are beautiful enough for the One who has made us and we dont need to have the painful makeovers or incessant diets, or waxing and threading and lazer treatment and all the other things we do that a sane person wouldnt voluntarily put themselves through.

What if we gave ourselves more credit and focused on ourselves as a whole being?  

What if we truly understood the elevated role of a woman in Islam?

I for one can vouch that once we begin to understand the way Islam intends for a woman to be, then everything else becomes insignificant and instead of restlessness your life is filled with peace.

May Almighty Allah be our guide and help us to always see truth beyond the falsehood, and may we have the patience to accept what Allah has willed for us, Inshaa-Allah Ameen! 

Image 1 from here
Image 2 from here


  1. Very interesting post Zarina.
    If we, women, would respect ourselves better and see ourselves through God's eyes only, we would live a happy life and would not need to transform ourselves to please men. This is not the way things should be.
    We are beautiful as we are, the way God created us. So why do we keep trying to please men? Maybe because it is what society is teaching us (like you'll be full, you'll be respected, your life will mean something if you have a man in your life).
    I think you're right we need to transform our relationship with others and concentrate on the only relationship that matters, our relationship with God.

    Take care dear friend and stay in peace.

  2. Marie

    Thanks for your comment, Exactly, we shouldn't focus so much on pleasing men, in doing this women tend to lose focus of the aim, which is pleasing the Creator, and we are told in Islam that if we focus on Allah Almighty then Allah will make the world subservient to us and people will then love us for who we are and they will respect good qualities instead of a fake ideal portrayed.

    I just see so many young women obsessing about being good enough for a guy and it doesn't make sense, but like you've said, we live in a society that has brainwashed into thinking that the ultimate goal is to fall in love with the perfect man and live happily ever after, as we grow older we know that this is a joke and that fairytales do not exist.

    Truth and real beauty can be found if we focus on pleasing Our Creator.

    You take care as well and may peace be upon you always

  3. Assalamualaikum dear sister Zarina,

    A nice fresh look for your blog.
    It is true that we should not be focusing too much on our physical appearance and neglect what is inside us or our submission to Allah.
    When you are young everything surely look nice and beautiful but if your are old like me....Haha people will not even
    take a second look at you. But if you have a good personal character Insha Allah even you are old, others will always remembered you and also even said you in their Dua...

  4. Wa alaykum salaam sister Nur

    It's nice to hear from you as always.

    Thank you for your comment, it brought a smile to my face. It is true, our character should be what we are striving to perfect and as women we should not be dis-empowering ourselves by only placing worth on our physical appearance. Alhamdulillah for the beauty Allah has given us women, but it shouldn't define who we are.

    Stay well and peace be upon you always

  5. Salama alayki sister, A thought provoking post indeed.
    I think many women are focused and have self value whilst doing many of the things you noted. I always look to the mother of the believers when searching for the best examples and I see it as a blessing from Allah ta Alaa they all were good women who possessed different qualities and possessed different personalities. Like you can take your pick or a few to imitate and strive to be like. Some were known for their beauty, some were known for their wealth other for their kindness, business ethic and all. I didn't understand what you said about what if we women practiced Islam to perfection, men would need to ask permission to speak toy us. Could you explain that?
    I agree with many points you wrote and subhanAllah it is true if many of us knew the honor Allah has given us many of us would not put up with the many oppression's many of us encounter and are submitted to.
    Education to me is always the key. From a women knows what Allah expects f her it makes it easy for us as women to strove to be the best we can regardless of those who try to put us down.

  6. Sanaa

    Wa alaykum salaam dear sister

    Thank you for your comment. I agree with you, there are so many perfect examples for us to follow from the Great women in Islam, the Mothers of the Believers and other women from the time of the Blessed Prophet (pbuh).

    What I meant by "men would need permission to talk to us" is specifically related to single women. Its the trend nowadays for men and women to openly speak to each other before marriage and even have relationships without the presence of any mahram. This takes away the elevated position Allah has given to a woman because when a man speaks openly to a woman without her mahram's knowing about it, it is much easier for him to take advantage of her. On the other hand, if her mahram is present as Islam states, then a man will think twice of taking advantage of a woman.

    I hope that I clarified this for you.

    I look forward to hearing more from you In Shaa Allah

    May Allah (swt) keep you in peace always