Most people who meet me see me as a “quiet person”. I always find this strange because I am someone who has a lot of thoughts and opinions, but I guess it’s because I don’t always openly share all my thoughts and opinions with everyone. I know that I am not outgoing, I never have been. I’m the type of person who prefers to spend one-on-one quality time with people. I’m not anti-social, nor do I have some sort of social phobia, I just never feel comfortable in social gatherings. It’s inevitable that at some point I’m going to mentally stand back, look at the situation and think; “What am I really doing here, I don’t belong here!” I’m also not afraid to speak in public, I am able to present things in public easily, Alhamdullillah. I don’t really believe that I am shy although most people would probably describe me as shy as well. Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me, (I think a lot of you would be able to relate to me here). You see the thing is that when I’m not comfortable in a situation I just can’t speak, even when I want to, I can’t, it’s like the words won’t leave my mouth. And to be honest, I always feel very silly having to express how I feel verbally, my thoughts never quite match what I end up saying. But it’s not like that with writing, no, writing is a different story altogether!
I’ve always been a writer, ever since I was a young child. Now I’m not talking the great writer who will become famous for wonderfully written literally works. I’m talking about a person who is able to express themselves far better in writing, who finds solace in writing, who turns to writing for therapy (and it works really well doesn’t it), and who sort of finds the space to be themselves completely and freely with no restraints when writing.
My words come out easily, just the way I think them. My feelings are easy to express and I don’t end up feeling like a blundering fool. Everything just seems to make sense when I am writing, it’s like all the confusion of the world is just wiped out.
Once again I am sure that most of you will be able to relate to what I am saying here:
I always thought that there was something wrong with me. Or I should say that people made me feel like there was something wrong with being “a quiet person”. They’d always regard it in a negative way. I used to hate it. From all my siblings people would always refer to me as “THE QUIET ONE”. The way they said it, like there was something wrong with me, upset me, it made me want to be different. When I was younger I’d try to be outgoing and talkative simply because I didn’t want other people to say that I was quiet. It didn’t work- being untrue to your personality and to your self never really works, it just ends up making you act in stupid ways. So I gave up on trying to be more outgoing, and I decided to embrace the fact that I am in truth, “A quiet person”, that’s who I am, and why should other people make me feel that there’s something wrong with that?
Everyone is different, you have “talkers” and you have “writers”, and no one is better, we are all just different.
I just happen to prefer sharing my thoughts and opinions in writing, and of course for those who really know me well, I will share everything with them through non-stop talking, but that’s reserved for those who know me really very well. Also, I think that being quiet allows you to observe things and to reflect, and this is important to me. When you observe, there’s just so much that you can learn, but anyway, that may be a topic of discussion on its own.
So back to my original question-Is this the way of the writer? Do other ‘writers’ experience similar things, does it ever feel like you are so very different from everyone else? Are you also a quiet person who prefers to observe the things that everyone else overlooks? Share your thoughts, please tell us what you think, can you relate to what I’m saying here. Since we all have the love for writing in common, perhaps we are able to learn from each other through sharing our words.Image from here