Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Is this the way of “the writer”?

Most people who meet me see me as a “quiet person”. I always find this strange because I am someone who has a lot of thoughts and opinions, but I guess it’s because I don’t always openly share all my thoughts and opinions with everyone. I know that I am not outgoing, I never have been. I’m the type of person who prefers to spend one-on-one quality time with people. I’m not anti-social, nor do I have some sort of social phobia, I just never feel comfortable in social gatherings. It’s inevitable that at some point I’m going to mentally stand back, look at the situation and think; “What am I really doing here, I don’t belong here!” I’m also not afraid to speak in public, I am able to present things in public easily, Alhamdullillah. I don’t really believe that I am shy although most people would probably describe me as shy as well. Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me, (I think a lot of you would be able to relate to me here). You see the thing is that when I’m not comfortable in a situation I just can’t speak, even when I want to, I can’t, it’s like the words won’t leave my mouth. And to be honest, I always feel very silly having to express how I feel verbally, my thoughts never quite match what I end up saying. But it’s not like that with writing, no, writing is a different story altogether!

I’ve always been a writer, ever since I was a young child. Now I’m not talking the great writer who will become famous for wonderfully written literally works. I’m talking about a person who is able to express themselves far better in writing, who finds solace in writing, who turns to writing for therapy (and it works really well doesn’t it), and who sort of finds the space to be themselves completely and freely with no restraints when writing.

My words come out easily, just the way I think them. My feelings are easy to express and I don’t end up feeling like a blundering fool. Everything just seems to make sense when I am writing, it’s like all the confusion of the world is just wiped out.

Once again I am sure that most of you will be able to relate to what I am saying here:

I always thought that there was something wrong with me. Or I should say that people made me feel like there was something wrong with being “a quiet person”. They’d always regard it in a negative way. I used to hate it. From all my siblings people would always refer to me as “THE QUIET ONE”. The way they said it, like there was something wrong with me, upset me, it made me want to be different. When I was younger I’d try to be outgoing and talkative simply because I didn’t want other people to say that I was quiet. It didn’t work- being untrue to your personality and to your self never really works, it just ends up making you act in stupid ways. So I gave up on trying to be more outgoing, and I decided to embrace the fact that I am in truth, “A quiet person”, that’s who I am, and why should other people make me feel that there’s something wrong with that?

Everyone is different, you have “talkers” and you have “writers”, and no one is better, we are all just different.

I just happen to prefer sharing my thoughts and opinions in writing, and of course for those who really know me well, I will share everything with them through non-stop talking, but that’s reserved for those who know me really very well. Also, I think that being quiet allows you to observe things and to reflect, and this is important to me. When you observe, there’s just so much that you can learn, but anyway, that may be a topic of discussion on its own.

So back to my original question-Is this the way of the writer? Do other ‘writers’ experience similar things, does it ever feel like you are so very different from everyone else? Are you also a quiet person who prefers to observe the things that everyone else overlooks? Share your thoughts, please tell us what you think, can you relate to what I’m saying here. Since we all have the love for writing in common, perhaps we are able to learn from each other through sharing our words.
Image from here


  1. Salaam alaykum,

    Woow so much recognition. I'm also a quiet person, although I would never be able to describe it like you did, Masha'Allah.

    The only thing. I sometimes have problems expressing myself on paper aswel.

  2. Assalaamu aleykum!

    I can really relate to what you are saying! I'm a quiet person too, but not to my good friends, to them I'm very outgoing. I prefer to put my thoughts into writing too. What gets to me is that outgoing people often see quiet people as "boring", just because we don't spill our whole life right away.
    Anyway, it's nice to read a post I can relate to so much =)

  3. Umm Mini

    Wa-alaykum salaam

    Thank you I'm glad you can relate with me, and don't worry, if you have trouble expressing yourself through writing as well then there has to be another way that you express yourself very well, like through art, or with children, if you look deeply at yourself I'm sure you'll find something. There are many different ways of expressing ourselves, SubhanAllah this is a mercy of Allah Almighty.


    Wa-alaykum salaam

    It seems we have a lot in common, and its nice when people can relate to you. You are right about people thinking that quiet people are boring or that they have nothing to say. I think popular culture has made people think that it's good to be outgoing. In fact, modesty and shyness were qualities of our Beloved Prophet (PBUH) so maybe being outgoing isn't that good afterall.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts sisters, it is really nice when people know what you mean.

    stay well

  4. Assalamu alaykum waRahmatullahi waBarakatuh sweet sis :)
    Masha'Allah. You are not the only one. I've always been known the quiet one since childhood and grew up this way, I observe a lot more than I talk. I thought there was something wrong with me, but then I found out wisdom, I found out that being quiet makes you learn more, it could also be a sign wise-ness, Allah knows better. The prophet Muhammad (salalahu alayhi wa salam) never talked about something other than what he had to like spreading the message, words of love and kindness. I myself am happy to be a quiet person regardless what people say about me. I had alot of challenges since childhood school days, they always tease me and leave me out in the side because I was quiet, even teachers worried, but my mother was always beside me. Allah is always beside us the first. Being Quiet is a blessing from Allah and what I think it is a sign of wise-ness , deep thinking , it can also bring you closer to Allah (subhana wa ta'ala). I'm not saying all quiet people are the same. Actually there are quiet people who don't think at all, and that is a problem, they are just quiet because they don't know how to start a conversation, they don't even try to listen and want to hear what they want.

    I too don't know how to start a conversation sometimes but I do know I listen more and think more. Be happy who you are sister. Quietness is a blessing, it can bring you more closer to Allah. I believe that not all writers are quiet, there are some who love to talk a lot as well. But it depends, some writers who like to write about deep stories or something with a meaning , I think this kind of person thinks more he speaks. Some writers are humorous and they talk a lot. So it depends. :)
    SubhanaAllah how Allah created us with different unique personalities so we can learn from each other. May this comment benefit you, excuse me if it was long hehe...
    Take care
    Fee amanillah

  5. You're right- I can SO relate to everything you said. I've always been quiet, and slightly uncomfortable in social gatherings, I have tried as you have to change that by acting the opposite but discovered it hasn't worked. I also don't have any problems speaking in public unless I'm not feeling comfortable. And just like you, I can always express myself easier in writing :)

    Although not all writers may relate, but people like us are more likely to find solace in writing than others who can very easily express themselves verbally in all situations

  6. I can definitely relate to what you wrote Zarina. I can only truly express myself by writing. Only my best friends for years know all the other things, I can talk with them easily but even getting there too me ages.
    I feel very uncomfortable when I attend social gatherings. I made efforts for years and always felt out of place. I don't force myself anymore, there is no point. I am the way I am, quiet, I prefer to listen and observe people, as you say, that taking part into discussions I don't feel at ease with.

    As you said we have to stay true to ourselves. Others might not understand and think we are kind of crazy or boring and that's fine.

    Take care dear!

  7. دانه

    JazakAllah khayr for your comment, although it was long, there was a lot of wisdom in it. You are right, being quite can be a blessing, and SubhanAllah it is really amazing that there are so many different types of people. We can all learn from each other, and you have reminded me that we should always be happy with who we are.Thanks for this sister and may Allah bless you.


    Thanks for your comment, like I said to Safiyah, I think it's great that we have this in common, it's nice when people know what you're talking about, makes you feel less crazy. Keep writing and sharing your thoughts, there is beauty in words.


    Seems we have something else in common, I think we all need to remind ourselves that what other people say about us doesn't really matter as long as we are true to ourselves. From my experience, every time I do something that is opposite to my nature it always ends badly and I take this as a sign that I should just be myself. Perhaps we are not the crazy one's, maybe everyone else is actually crazy, the world is upside down after all;-)

    Thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts here, the support is great and it really helps to know that there are other people like you out there.

    Stay well, take care, and keep on writing.

  8. I think i'm the odd one out here. I am not quiet AT ALL. I am loudish and outgoing and confident and really funny and oh how I used to lament over this. I wished that I was sweet and quiet for so long but have come to realise that is just not who I am and that's ok :)

    However in saying that it is rare for me to express my emotions in person to anyone which is why I find my blog so super useful! I would die if anyone I knew irl read it. It's my way of expressing myself because I think i've also built up in person thi spersona of being so 'strong' that I can't let anyone see the cracks.

  9. Bonnie

    I guess it takes all types of people to make up the world. It also shows that the grass is never greener on the other side, all of us at some point look at people who are different to us and think that things are easier for them or better that way, but the things is, as you've said that its best to just be happy with who you are, everyone is different, there is no better way, just different ways and we should be content with whatever we have because that's what suits us best.

    Thanks so much for your comment, and although I know you want to come across as "strong", perhaps sometimes its okay to admit to our weaknesses, we are only human after all. (i guess this go for me as well since I too would like people to see me as "strong" emotionally.)

    Stay well, and be who you are, truth is life would be boring without different types of people.

  10. Salam alaykum dear sister,
    when I read your text I could have imagined that you have written it about me :). I can also be described as a quiet person but it by no means means that it would be negative thing. Some people enjoy being in big gatherings while others feel at home in silence. I feel sympathy towards you because your text really made you look so much like me. Take care sister and thanks for sharing this with us.

  11. Nadia

    I'm glad that you can relate, and yes you are right, being quiet defintitely does not have to be negative thing, Thank you for this and stay well.