Muslim Women Exposed

Your child has ADHD and needs to be put on medication

2012-02-26T15:51:00.000+02:00

A few days ago a good friend of mine called me, very distressed because her 6-year-old son’s teacher called her in and told her that her son has an attention deficit disorder and he needs to be put on Ritalin. She asked me if I could do an assessment with him to see if he in fact does have a problem. So obviously I agreed, feeling very disturbed myself because I know how quick people are today to “diagnose” young children with Attention Deficit Disorder, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Furthermore I completely disagree with young children being given such strong, mind altering medication.

Now I’m not saying that the Disorder does not exist. I have seen children who actually do really have attention problems, but this does not apply to any child who can’t sit still and pay attention for long periods of time, especially if they are only 6 years old.

Anyway, back to the little boy in question. Ahmed, is his name, Masha’Allah he is such a cute little child, with these huge hazel eyes and sweet smile. I spent 2 hours with him, doing different tasks and he was able to sit still and pay attention throughout that time. Okay so he started getting a bit tired and lost concentration towards the end of the 2 hours, but isn’t that normal? Shouldn’t we allow for normal human behaviour? I mean, who doesn’t get tired after doing work for two hours straight. His behaviour in my eyes definitely did not warrant a diagnosis of ADD/ ADHD and he most definitely does not require medication.

I find it really sad, because what this “medication” does is control children. It turns them into robotic type kids, who are “manageable”. Since when are children supposed to sit still and be quiet for hours on end. Since when can we expect them not to be curious and explorative. I know that classroom situations are difficult for teacher’s, especially when they have to deal with large numbers of children who come from different cultural and language backgrounds, as is the case here in South Africa, but I think that we really should not be so quick to diagnose children with anything. Perhaps the child has a different learning style, where he or she cannot learn by looking at the board or even from reading books, perhaps there are children, like Ahmed who learns in a practical manner, by physically doing things and watching others do things. These differences in learning style are important and needs to be considered within a classroom setting, especially before making claims that children have a disorder and need to be put on Ritalin.

Image from here

I know that there are parents who initially thought that medicating their children would be good, only to regret it later, because they saw the effects that it had on their children. These “drugs” are not something to take lightly and the repercussions can be detrimental.

Now I’m not condemning the teacher in question here, after all I am not a teacher and truly admire those who are. I used to lifeskills sessions with children at schools and honestly they literally ran circles around me, so I know that I would never be able to do what teacher’s do every single day. Having said that however, I believe that children are all different, they are amazing and unique in their own way. A child may not be good at Math or reading, he/she may struggle with writing and learning letters, but that same child will have talents in other areas. Giving labels to children, especially at such a young age is dangerous, not only will it affect the child’s self-esteem, but it will also stifle their talent and it will teach them that if they can’t be like everyone else then there’s something wrong with them. This is very unfair in my opinion.

Let me just also add that I am not saying here that children should not be disciplined. I think that the discipline is very important for children. Children who grow up without discipline become adults without discipline and then we have a whole society of selfish and arrogant people, which we can already see today.

Let us remember the example of the Most Beloved of Allah, Our Master , Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). He loved children, and treated them with kindness and respect, he took the time to understand each individual child’s problems and was never harsh with them. His perfection was evident in this area as well as he had just the right balance. If only everyone could emulate this perfect and blessed example, the world would be a better place for us all!

Those terrible “Blue Days”

2012-02-20T16:54:00.000+02:00

We all have “blue days”; those terrible days when you just don’t feel like getting out of bed in the morning; when you feel like you will never be happy again and that life is just a huge mess. If you’ve never had one of those days then you are very fortunate or perhaps more appropriately I should say that you are unfortunate; but I doubt that there are many people who can say they’ve never had a “blue day”.

The reasons may differ, but somehow things always seem to have a way of working things out, or rather I should say that The Almighty Creator allows things to get better through His Infinite Mercy.

This weekend was a blue weekend for me. It all started on Friday when I had an argument with my mother over something very stupid. Of course the worst thing you can do is argue with your mother, it just always turns out bad and no matter which way you look at it, you’re never going to come out of there the winner. I think this is because of the high status that Allah has afforded mothers, or maybe it’s just because it’s useless arguing with the woman who gave birth to you, raised you and knows you better than anyone else ever will. And let me tell you that the saying; “mother always knows best” really is true. So anyway, I did the stupid thing and argued with my mother, which I regretted terribly afterwards, as can be expected; and this was the cause of my “Blue weekend”. It was all very unnecessary and easily avoidable if you ask me, but sometimes we need to learn things the hard way.

Alhamdullillah (All Praise is due to Allah) things are much better now. Did I mention that it’s also a mother’s nature to always forgive her children, well most mothers anyway! So today is a very happy Monday, because after a blue weekend you can’t have a blue Monday, not when things are looking much better.

Nevertheless I thought that this would be a good time to share something very valuable that I’ve learnt in one of our ladies workshops. So here goes.

There 5 Reasons why Allah gives us problems:

1. To direct us towards Him.

2. To inspect us.

3. To correct us-with the lessons learnt through the pain and failures we experience.

4. To protect us – from more serious harm because if we learn from our lessons and apply what we’ve learnt to our lives.

5. To Perfect us- When we respond to difficulties correctly then this builds our character and helps us to be better people.

Isn’t this interesting? So in each situation we need to look at what the reason is for our difficulty and how we can use this to become better people. If we remain the same throughout our lives then we are not reaching our goals on this earth. We have to learn and grow from our mistakes so that we can become perfect people, and Inshaa-Allah (If Allah wills) then we will be able to stand up straight on the Day when we have to face our Creator and account for our deeds.

So what if we had no “blue days” at all; no difficulties, no challenges and no problems. What would life be like then? And what type of people would we be? And if we don’t make mistakes then how will we know better the next time? Furthermore, if we don’t go through all these difficulties, confusion, misunderstandings and what not, then how will we come to understand ourselves and other people, how will we learn about life and most importantly, how will we learn about the Mercy and Beauty of Our Creator? And finally, if we have never learnt or experienced anything, then what will we have to share with others?

So yes, we all have “blue days”. Sometimes we have more “blue days” than any other colour day. Sometimes it seems that the “blue days” just won’t end. Whatever the case is though, we should know that it will pass at some time or the other, even if it takes years, but we should be happy knowing that Inshaa-Allah when it finally passes, then we would have become better people, people closer to the ideal of perfection.

Rumi Said something like the rock needs to be rubbed and polished until it can become the diamond. So even though the rubbing and polishing may seem harsh, the diamond cannot shine without it.

Let’s just hope that we are all able to turn our “blue days” into something valuable, so that rainbows of light can shine when we really need it to.

For all those who may be having “blue days”; I really do hope it passes soon!

Image from here

The days the world stood still...NOT

2012-02-13T16:18:00.000+02:00

Last week was a different week for me. I didn’t think that something so small could make such a big difference to my life, and as much as I thought I could do without it easily, it seems that I cannot, not really. You must be wondering what I’m talking about... It’s my internet connection of course!

For about 4 days last week I had no internet connection! There was a fault which needed to be fixed by the service provider, but like many things in South Africa, it took very long to sort out. It turned out that all it was, was a loose wire. If only someone had some time to check that out on the same day we reported the fault, but in any case, 4 days later they finally found the time and my misery was put to an end. Alhamdullillah.

Okay so maybe it wasn’t exactly misery, that could be a vague generalization, but I can tell you that I felt lost. It really felt like life had just stood still. All the work that was waiting for me couldn’t be done because e-mails had to be sent out first and naturally without internet, I couldn’t send emails. So I moped around waiting for the connection to be fixed again and that’s when I realised how dependent I have become. I mean really, my work got set back a whole week because of one disconnected wire, this really was an eye opener as to how much of my activity actually dependents on the internet working.

Besides my work not getting done, I couldn’t blog, e-mail anyone, read anyone’s blogs or web pages. I couldn’t get the details for payments that I had to make because it was on the internet, I couldn’t order my brother’s university textbooks because I was supposed to be doing it online. Every time I thought about something I had to do, I was reminded that I couldn’t do it because I had no internet access. How crazy is that?

A while ago I began trying to spend less time on the internet, I knew that it took up a lot of my time, but I guess I didn’t realise the extent. Can you imagine that it seemed like my world had stood still, all because of a silly internet connection.

Yet the world didn’t stay still at all, neither did it end. I still woke up every day, I still managed to complete my daily chores, perform my daily worships, keep in touch with people... The sun still rose and set, the day still continued to go on and the earth still continued to go round. The world’s problems continued, politicians kept up their usual appearances as they worked hard to fool the masses, crime still continued, people still died (not because of their inability to access the internet), children still continued to go to school, cars still continued to drive...the world moved on and on, and my little issue with internet disconnection meant nothing at all.

So now I am back and I have to admit that I didn’t miss much at all. Yes, Whitney Houston was found dead in her hotel room, that’s about the biggest news right now, (or maybe it’s already old news). So I was set back a few days with work, but now the e-mails I had to send out is all done and everything else I needed to do will be sorted out soon. So in fact, it wasn’t such a big deal at all.

It’s easy to get caught up in cyberspace, it’s even easier to conduct all your activies through cyberspace-being able to shop online or pay a bill online really does save a lot of time and energy...but what this has taught me is that even though this is the Information Age, we do not need to be dependent on the internet. There was life before the internet took the world by storm and there will be life after the internet as well. The internet does not sustain our lives, and definitely does not make the world go round. So it may take a bit of adjusting, or a lot of adjusting, depending on your own personal internet usage, but life will continue.

When I look at the green trees and red roses, the white daisies and the blue skies, the rain that falls and nourishes everything, the golden sunshine which shines so bright and even the glowing moon on a dark night, when I think about all this I am reminded about what life really is about. We were not meant to sit in front of the computer screen the whole day, taking in beauty from simulations. The world is moving around us, even quicker these days, perhaps we should reduce our internet dependence and take the time to look around us, before the world really does come to an end.

Image from here

Life is all about perception

2012-02-04T17:02:00.000+02:00

While reading Surah Kahf (the Chapter of the Cave) of the Glorious Quraan yesterday it occurred to me that life is all about perception, we perceive things in a certain way, based on our very limited knowledge and we begin to regard our perception as the truth, when actually most times we don’t even know the full story in situations.

Just to recap...

In Surah Kahf we learn this lesson through the story of Moosa / Moses (Peace be upon Him) and Khidr (PBUH). Moosa (PBUH) is given a lesson in humility when he is told to go on a journey with Khidr (PBUH). Khidr gives Moosa a warning that Moosa (PBUH) should not question any of his actions as they go on their journey. Firstly they get a lift with some people in a boat and before they leave, Khidr (PBUH) makes a hole in the boat. Moosa (PBUH) gets upset and asks why he did that to those people who were good enough to give them a lift, but Khidr (PBUH) reminds him that he should not question, so they go along on their way. Then they come across a boy and Khidr (PBUH) kills the boy and once again Moosa (PBUH) becomes very angry, but he is again reminded not to question. Then they come to a town and the people there don’t want them to enter and stay for a while, but as they are leaving they see a broken wall and Khidr (PBUH) builds the wall up. Now Moosa (PBUH) really can’t be silent anymore. So he questions Khidr (PBUH) telling him that those people were not hospitable at all but he rebuilt their wall. This is where they part ways because Moosa (PBUH) did not stick to their agreement that he would not ask questions. But before they part, Khidr (PBUH) explains his actions to Moosa (PBUH).

He says that: (NOT IN THESE EXACT WORDS)

â The people in the boat were poor people and there was a tyrant King who was seizing all the boats. I made a hole because then the King would not want their boat. He would overlook it because of the default and they would still have their boat.

â I killed the boy because his parents were pious people and he would grow up to be a non-believer and he would also bring his parents to disbelief. With the will of Allah they will be granted another child who will bring them good.

â I built the wall up again because underneath was a treasure left by a pious man for his two young sons. If the wall had not been built up again then others would find the treasure. Now when the boys reach the right age they will receive their treasure.

And Khidr (PBUH) added that he only acted according to what Allah had willed for him to do.

Interesting, isn’t it...

When Moosa (PBUH) first saw these actions he thought that they were bad actions, but after the explanation we see that in fact they were good actions.

ALL ABOUT PERCEPTION, RIGHT?

How many times does this happen to us? We see something happening and we think that it’s bad, and only afterwards we understand that in fact it was a good thing. Or, we go through difficulties and wonder why we have to go through it and only long afterwards we see that what we thought was difficulty or something negative was in fact something positive, or it had positive effects for us.

This is the very reason why we are taught to endure everything patiently, because our perception is limited and we cannot see and understand the full picture of things.

This is also why there is so much conflict in the world, because everyone thinks that their perception of things is the truth or the way they see things is the right way, but when we take the time to consider things from the other person’s perception then it becomes easier for us to deal with conflict, because we are able to open our minds and see things differently.

In any situation if we are given more information and if we increase our knowledge about things, then we will most probably end up changing our perception, and just like Moosa (PBUH) we may find that what we thought was bad was in fact done with good intention.

The world would be a better place if we tried to understand different perceptions instead of holding fast to our own. As we’ve learnt in Surah Kahf, things are not always what we think they are.

May Almighty Allah grant us with insight to always understand the truth in all situations instead of stubbornly hold on to our own limited perceptions.

The exploits of an amateur vegetable gardener

2012-01-29T21:07:00.000+02:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, I recently started doing vegetable gardening. This was a strange thing to do, especially since I have never done gardening before and have always believed that it’s not for me. It’s not that I have a problem getting my hands dirty; I really don’t mind that at all. It’s just that I am rather impatient in many ways and planting things, and waiting for it to grow; well that takes a lot of patience. Anyway, I figured that planting food was different, since it just seemed much more worthwhile and useful, so I joined my mother and sister and started planting vegetables.

Before I continue I must tell you that this seems like something unnecessary in the City. I mean whenever you need any vegetable all you have to do is go to the supermarket and there you will find rows and rows of vegetables and fruit. Anyway, let’s just say that this was a learning experience.

So I started planting aniseed, I’d read up about the benefits of this plant and thought it would be great to plant. It worked out well. The plant grew, I got some seeds and everything, but it wasn’t one of those everyday things that you need all the time. I was about to abandon my planting at that early stage already, but then something started growing in the sand. At first I thought it was just a weed and I was going to pull it out. Then it grew bigger and bigger. My sister who knows much more about planting vegetables and who has been doing this in her beautiful garden for some time now told me to leave it because it was a tomato tree. I was so amazed, a tomato tree! See I didn’t mean to plant tomatoes, what happened was that we had a tomato that got old and I didn’t want to throw it away so I threw it in the sand thinking that it would at least not be wasted there, and lo and behold, from that one rotten tomato an entire tree grew, with beautiful fresh tomatoes. If this isn’t testimony to the Greatness of Allah then I don’t know what is? SubhanAllah (Glory be to Allah) from one bad tomato Allah gave us so many more beautiful ripe ones, an entire tree grew from that one tomato. The generosity of Allah Almighty is astounding.

It was so nice to have fresh tomatoes at hand. I have never seen such fresh tomatoes. Then there was the lettuce. My sister gave me lettuce seeds and I wondered where the seeds come from because I’ve only ever seen the leaves of the lettuce. Anyway, I planted it and SubhanAllah fresh lovely lettuce grew so easily. The inside leaves were white and crispy. I had so much fun making salads. Each time all I had to do was go out to the garden and get what I needed. When the lettuce leaves were all used up, the lettuce started growing a stalk, and there on the top of the long stalk, guess what developed- the seeds. So my question about that was answered.

I have planted some other stuff which is taking a while to grow, and then there are some things which didn’t grow so well, like my potatoes. But Inshaa-Allah whatever Allah wills to grow will grow.

All this has taught me something very interesting and I know there are people who are going to regard me as someone who is always negative about “modern day life”, but the thing is that City living has taken us away from remembering Allah to a large extent. Growing these vegetables has increased my faith because it has reminded me how Allah is the Creator of everything and how from a small seed a huge plant can grow to sustain life. In watching things grow through stages I could not deny the existence and the wonder of Allah Almighty. This has forced me to focus more on my Creator. This doesn’t happen when you go into a store and buy everything. Just like I had to wonder about the seeds of lettuce, or I didn’t know that a flower grows above ground when you plant potatoes and when the flower dies that’s the time to remove your potatoes from the ground, many people don’t ponder about where vegetables come from, how they grow, what they go through in the different stages of development, how you know when they are ready for consumption, etc. Because things are spoon fed to us, we take it for granted and in the process we miss out.

We miss out on the understanding that Allah Almighty has an absolutely perfect system; not just for the lives of human beings but for every single thing on this earth. When you watch something like a vegetable grow it makes you understand that Allah is our Creator and Allah is our Sustainer. Allah creates and provides each thing with its needs, whether that’s air, water, and sunshine, whatever... It is only Allah who can create and maintain and if we ever attempt to do things on our own then the results will be very poor.

So yeah; although my brother teases us calling us “farmers”, I have been having a lot of fun planting vegetables. Just because I’m in the City doesn’t mean I can’t farm. I would recommend this for all of you. You don’t even need a garden, you can plant stuff in pot plants and watch what happens. Inshaa-Allah this will teach you some important lessons about life as well.

Lettuce Image from here

2011 Reflections

2012-01-19T16:45:00.000+02:00

So I’ve been aiming to do this post for a while now, but for some reason or the other I just didn’t get down to it. I guess it’s better late than never right?

Anyway, this is actually part of a project started by three lovely bloggers, Salma, Marie and Wafa. I think this is such a nice idea and indeed there is so much that we can learn from one another.

Time passes by so quickly. I can clearly remember the beginning of 2011 and now we are already more than half way through the first month of 2012. But despite the time passing so quickly, I have learnt some really valuable things last year and perhaps it will inspire someone out there, so here goes:

õ Change can help you grow- Sometimes we don’t look forward to change because we think that it will be bad for you. But the thing is that change is inevitable and you know what they say; “What does not kill you makes you stronger”.

õ There is always positive in every situation- This sounds like one of those over clichéd motivational speaker quotes, but it’s true. I’ve found that no situation is entirely negative and it is up to us to look for the positive and focus on that instead. If we focus on the negative we will become bitter and sad people and honestly there’s way too much to look forward to in life to be a bitter and sad person.

õ Don’t restrict yourself-2011 has taught me that I can do things I never thought I’d be able to do. Simple things like gardening (which I intend writing a post about, Inshaa-Allah). I never thought I could do this, it just seemed like something that wasn’t for me, until I made up my mind to try it, then it turned out to be quite fun. Too often we restrict ourselves by believing that we can’t do certain things but in doing this we forget that human beings have amazing potential (SubhanAllah- Glory be to Allah).

õ You can never have enough patience- In particular I realised that I really need to have more patience when it comes to working with other people. My sisters and I are working together on an education project for young children. I love that we are able to work together and since we all have very different personalities, the contribution made by each one of us adds so much to what we do-BUT sometimes I can really get frustrated. I’m someone who doesn’t like working under pressure at all. I want time to plan what I’m doing and set out my work so that nothing is left for last minute. I hate the last minute rush and in my family I’ve always being teased for being “the slow one”. When you’re working with other people you can’t have everything the way you would like to, and even though you may plan your bit and start in advance, somehow you still end up doing things last minute, under pressure. Although I really hate this, I guess I just have to learn how to become more patient because we are all not the same and we can’t control things in life. Also, getting stressed about it just makes it worse.

õ The grass is never greener on the other side- I think this is a timeless lesson, somehow one that we need to constantly be reminded of. It’s easy to look at other people’s lives and wonder why your life didn’t turn out that way, but that very person may be thinking the same thing about you. No one has the perfect life, we all have challenges to deal with, that’s life, it’s a test, if life were perfect for anyone then I think they’d really need to be worried.

õ People often misinterpret things- Last year I had a small “incident” with an old friend. She said some stuff to me and I thought that she was being insensitive and a bit mean. I was quite upset with her for a while and a part of me just didn’t want to bother ever calling her again. When I put myself in her shoes though, I had to understand where she came from. Slowly I began talking to her again (okay I mainly texted her), anyway, after speaking to her just recently I realised that I was being over sensitive and I really misinterpreted her intentions at the time. She did not mean to hurt or offend me and if she had realised the offence I would take then I’m sure she would’ve been very sorry. We need to look at ourselves and understand our own faults and misunderstandings of others.

õ Health should never be taken for granted- I’ve seen and heard of so many sick people in 2011. So many people I know had to deal with illness, whether healing after an accident or fighting cancer, or struggling with heart problems. This has just made me realise that I need to be more thankful for my health and I need to take stock of my life. I have to watch what I eat and cut down on the unhealthy stuff because health is something that we really need and once it’s gone, life can become very difficult.

õ Allah always knows best so put your trust in Allah always!- For me this is such an important lesson. There have been times and events that I have had to go through last year that were not very easy, but Alhamdullillah (All Praise is for Allah) these things were much easier to deal with when I understood that Allah has a plan for us all. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t exactly deal with these things in the best of manners. I became despondent, sad, frustrated etc when things did not go how I hoped they would, but you know what afterwards, with hindsight I was able to understand that if I put my trust in Allah then things will work out perfectly. I can’t see the bigger picture of life right now, and so sometimes things that happen seem negative when in fact they are positive for my life for the future. Since Allah is the one who knows about the Past, Present and Future, my trust is that Inshaa-Allah all will work out well when I rely on Allah. So I beg for forgiveness for all my shortcomings and weaknesses (and I have to admit that I have many), but I pray and hope that I am able to appreciate that no one knows what’s best for me like my Creator does, and Inshaa-Allah all’s well that ends well.

So yeah, I guess if I really think about it I could find more 2011 reflections, but this post is becoming way too long so I won’t bore you.

I have learnt a lot, even when I didn’t think I was learning. The best way to measure whether we are progressing or regressing is to look at what we have learnt and how we have grown as people. One year has passed by quickly, but I am fortunate to say that I was able to grow in that year and I am thankful for all my experiences. I hope and pray that this year (2012 and 1433) brings many positive things for us all, but moreover I hope that this year brings us closer to our Creator, and closer to being people that Our Creator will be pleased with.

A warm thanks goes out to Salma, Marie and Wafa for encouraging us to share what we’ve learnt so that we can all benefit from each other.

Image from here

The right to education

2012-01-18T17:33:00.000+02:00

Last week a very sad thing happened in Johannesburg. A mother died in a stampede outside a University as she waited with her son to see if he could gain admission to study further after completing secondary school. What happened was that many students who completed Grade 12 last year didn’t expect to pass with university admission. So after getting their results they realised that they were eligible to study at tertiary level, thus there were thousands of students queued up outside the university waiting to see if they could get last minute admission. When the university finally opened up its doors, people began to push and shove (which is natural in any huge crowd where people have been waiting for hours). The result was that a mother who was with her son passed away and some other people got injured. This is a tragic thing to happen, but it highlights some very important issues within South African society, one of these being that although many people are still in need of good education, access seems to be rather limited.

The fact that thousands of prospective students were queued up outside the university clearly shows that people believe education is the key to a better future, yet so many people don’t have proper access to education at all levels. The other thing that stands out for me is that education has become this thing that is way too formalised and theoretical. There are so many skills that can be acquired in life and the truth is that many things cannot be learnt at university. Also, even when people do gain admission to university, there are many obstacles that they have to deal with. High student fees, expensive textbooks, difficulty coping or adjusting to working independently, large workloads etc. I know that all this is part and parcel of life but it just seems to me that a basic right such as education is so difficult to come by, and I really don’t think it should be this way.

Seeking knowledge is also a fundamental part of Islam. Muslims have been encouraged to seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave so our quest for knowledge should in fact never cease, it should be ongoing and continuous. In these times when gaining education is so difficult and expensive, it may be worth noting that knowledge can be found in many ways and forms. “Education” is not and should not be restricted to an institute, whether it’s a school, a university or even a workplace. Education is far too broad and multi-dimensional to be restricted. Knowledge can be acquired in many ways and people should not be afraid to learn whatever they can, even if they think it’s irrelevant to what they want to do in life.

My mother always tells us that she had an aunt who always told her to “steal with the eye”. What this aunt meant was that through watching someone do something, you can learn how to do that yourself. This is of course the oldest form of education. Anything you learn in life will benefit you in some way (of course if it’s something positive otherwise learning negative things will only cause you harm). I have an uncle who studied to be a teacher and his father used to do glasswork-making glass frames for people and so on. So this uncle always used to help his father out and he learnt how to do things himself. Today he does not work as a teacher but does glass work himself and he has done much better in this field. So you see, education is not limited to what we learn at university or at school. Education is limitless; it goes beyond the walls of an institution. It can be gained in many different places and through different means and you never know what part of your education will benefit you.

I’m not saying that people should not go to university. I think my life would be very different if I didn’t go to university. University has taught me many things, but there are lessons outside the classroom as well and sometimes these lessons are much more valuable than the one’s you learn inside the classroom.

I still find it unfortunate that so many people who are longing to study to have a better life have not gained access to university this year, but if I could give those young people advice, I would tell them not to fret, because education can be gained in many ways. There will be time to go to university and perhaps next year they’ll be more fortunate to get in, but in the meantime, they should keep their minds open, learn whatever they can learn and strive to continue learning. Every skill you have is an asset and no one can take away from you what you have learnt. For instance, there are women who have spent their lives making money through cooking and baking. There are people who make a living through doing and making many things. This is education as well, the knowledge of how to do things like cook and bake, fix a car, make a frame or furniture, etc...should not be undermined. It may not have the prestige that comes with careers such as law, medicine or economics, but it is education and takes a huge amount of intelligence as well.

So in short, what I am saying is that every single person has a right to education. Knowledge should be an ongoing quest. BUT...

Education should not be restricted to the walls of a university. There are many people who never go to university but their knowledge is astounding (the example of Sheikh Ahmed Deedat comes to mind here. This amazing man had no formal education, and yet his knowledge and achievements are amazing-

May Allah give Him Peace and allow him to rest in the highest stages of Jannah Inshaa-Allah).

We should not wait for others to fulfil our rights and we should not hold others responsible for our destinies. We have the ability to learn what we can, and like I said, every bit of knowledge can benefit you in some way. So let us all seek knowledge and increase our education in whatever way we can, even if that means doing tasks that others may regard as menial.

Image 1 from here
Image 2 from here

Going back to basics

2012-01-12T15:49:00.001+02:00

Its being a long while that I actually posted on this blog. This holidays I decided to “go back to basics”. This meant that I spent less time on the Internet and more time with other things. It’s interesting to think about how much time we spend on the Internet and how easy it is to get wrapped up in cyberspace without even realizing how much time has passed. This makes us forget that there is actually a world in which “posting” refers to paper letters sent via the Post Office, where “chatting” actually involves two people physically coming together to have a conversation and so on. As much as we may love the virtual world, we’ve got to admit that life can be very peaceful without it.

So I spent some time building a 1500 piece Jigsaw puzzle. My family and I grew up building puzzles together and we always enjoyed it, but the last time I actually built one myself was probably about 5 years ago. Shoo, how fast time goes.

I had so much fun building the puzzle and at the same time it also taught me so many lessons. Strange that a simple thing like a puzzle can actually have so many life lessons to teach:

õ Firstly you learn that you really need to have a lot of patience. There’s sorting pieces out, differentiating between edge pieces and middle pieces, finding which pieces go on which place of the puzzle. Before you actually start having fun, a lot of work needs to be done.

õ Then there’s the foundation. If you don’t have a solid foundation then the rest of your puzzle is not stable, and if you make one mistake then the foundation is not complete and with an incomplete foundation, you have an incomplete puzzle.

õ Each piece has its appropriate place. If you just put the wrong pieces together (like what I did at times) then that makes the right piece out of place. Each piece belongs to a group, it has the surrounding pieces to keep it in place and make sure its firm, even though all the pieces are part of the entire puzzle.

õ What you put in is what you’ll get out. If you don’t pay attention to what you’re doing then you can sit for hours and not really get anywhere, but if you have drive and determination and focus on what you are doing then suddenly the puzzle becomes easy, pieces are easily recognisable and you enjoy your task with ease.

õ You can only see the beauty of the picture once it is complete. Before that you may appreciate the beauty of some parts, but the puzzle looks bare and incomplete and then when the completed picture finally emerges, then suddenly all that time spent on wondering how it will be when its complete seems like nothing because the completed picture stands out and everything makes sense.

Well, those are some of the lessons that I learnt while spending time building a puzzle. Some people might wonder if I’m that bored to actually spend time with something like that, but the lessons are important and a reminder of so many things in life.

Going back to basics is really good and sometimes we need it to help us remember lessons that we’ve learnt long ago and we’ve already forgotten.

There are many things you can learn on the Internet, but there are also many things that you will never be able to learn in cyberspace. I think that we need to have a balance in life so that we are able to take the most out of life that we can.

I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday, filled with many important lessons of your own.

New year, new opportunities

2012-01-02T14:08:00.001+02:00

The diaries are full and the calendars have changed,

A new year has begun; new pages have been turned.

Can we remember all the past years lessons which we’ve learned?

As the new year dawns, which part of our lives will be better arranged.

The time goes by so very fast,

And before we know it, this year will also be a thing of the past,

So we need to do as much as we can,

All we need to do is make a plan.

The time seems so short for all that needs to be done,

There’s so much to learn and so much to do,

Wasted days can never be undone,

We have to pray that we can make a difference too.

It’s sad to see that for some people thing stay the same,

Year in and year out, there is no change,

Relentless work and play seems like fair game,

When we don’t take the time to learn and grow.

The biggest question we need to ask is this:

Am I doing enough for the world to come?

Will my condition be good or will it bad?

Will I be left, alone, doomed and sad?

Our Creator is Indeed the Most Merciful,

He has given us more time to be dutiful,

To Him should we direct our efforts,

This is the only way in which we will gain benefits.

May Allah Almighty give each one of us a wonderful year ahead. A year filled with blessings, peace and contentment; where we learn the most important lessons in life and strive to do deeds that will earn us Allah’s pleasure. Time is going very fast these days, and before we know it, the year will be progressing until its December once more. It’s no use making resolutions at the beginning of the year only to let our goals fizzle out and die. We should be making resolutions throughout the year, and in fact, throughout our lives. We should be striving to be better in all respects so that one day, when the inevitable happens and we have to stand before our Lord, at least maybe we will have something to show for our short time in this world.

May Allah Almighty give us the best, May He fulfil our needs, help us in our affairs, assist us to achieve our goals, and make it easy for us to make the best of our time. Inshaa-Allah Ameen!

TO ALL OF YOU - ALL THE BEST FOR THE YEAR AHEAD!

And the party begins

2011-12-16T15:04:00.000+02:00

SO yesterday was the absolute worse day to be on the roads of Johannesburg, if I had known this then I would’ve stayed in my home. Later on I came to hear that it was by far “The Busiest Day of the Year”. This is because since today is a public holiday and next week is Christmas, followed by New Year the week after, most people worked for the last day yesterday and so almost everyone got off from work early and people made their way, trying to sort out last minute things before the holidays. It was madness, and I am really not exaggerating. I felt as if I was in a movie scene where everyone is trying to leave the city at the same time, you know one of those movies where the aliens come to earth or there’s some disaster looming and everyone just wants to leave, that’s what the streets of Johannesburg was like yesterday. I came home with a headache, completely hot because the summer heat was intensified tenfold while stuck in unmoving traffic, but I was grateful that I was not one of the people rushing to go off on holiday. The peace of my home was welcoming and today the quiet streets of Johannesburg seem like a blessing.

All this preparation and planning reminded me that most people have begun their partying. Yes, it’s that time of the year when everyone goes away on holiday, the schools are closed, people are off from work and everyone is enjoying the end of year partying, because after all we’ve all worked hard the whole year and we deserve the break!

Now I have no problem with this, I understand that people work hard and that a good break is welcoming, but somehow it just seems that all the partying and the spending of money just makes people heedless. We spend so much money at the end of the year that we have to spend half of the new year trying to make up for all our spending, and after all the partying and holidays, what do we really have to show for it? If we’re lucky then we benefit from this for a short while, but as soon as the New Year kicks in, we’re back to struggling to make ends meet.

There’s something else about all this mindless spending though, once again it’s selfish. It makes us forget that there are millions of people in the world who have never had a holiday. Millions, who have No break from poverty, starvation, disease and oppression. Millions, who spend year after year without any celebrations, with no peace and definitely without any partying. So it just doesn’t make sense to me that year after year when it comes to December, masses of people in certain places plan for their holidays and their parties, spending huge sums of money in doing this, while this is unfathomable for so many others.

I know I might sound like a boring old prude, but all I’m trying to say is that while we’re thinking about our holidays and our breaks, perhaps we should also consider other people across the world who are suffering and then maybe, just maybe we would be inclined to scale down a bit and share. If we give even a small percentage of our end-year bonuses to those in need, it will make a huge difference to them and we can still enjoy our holidays. Imagine if all those people on the streets of Johannesburg yesterday had to share just a little with someone in need, how many people would have a meal to eat because of this, or some water or clothes. If so many of us can afford to party and go for holiday then surely we are not of those who are in need. If we share even a little then more people may have the chance of having some happiness and relaxation at the end of the year, even if it is only temporary.

So while I hope that people have a good holiday, I hope more that those people in need throughout the world could also have a holiday. And while we are enjoying our holidays, let us not forget what our purpose on this earth is, and that purpose does not include living for ourselves only.

May everyone have a wonderful holiday season, and let us try to remember to share!

Image from here

Your chance to make a small difference

2011-12-12T17:20:00.000+02:00

There's so much suffering in the world and sometimes it feels like there's not much that us ordinary people can do about it. Every contribution is something though, it makes a difference to another person so we should never be put off from doing or giving because our little contribution seems minor.

Today I received one quick and easy way that you can make a difference and I decided to share this. Here are the details below:
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Since the start of the recent drought in the Horn of Africa, I’ve met countless families in Ethiopia struggling to grow the food they need.

So when an opportunity like this comes along, I’m quick to share it far and wide.
If you take this short online quiz, our generous partner LG Electronics will feed a hungry child in Ethiopia.
http://quiz.wfp.org/Ethiopia

Then share it with your networks to ensure another child is fed!

If you take the quiz and tell three friends and each of your friends tell three friends, imagine how many children in Ethiopia we could feed together!

Test your knowledge, engage others, and transform the lives of hungry children -- all in just a few minutes.
Will you test your Ethiopia IQ and then challenge your friends?

Thanks for getting involved,
Judith

Judith Schuler
Communications Officer, Ethiopia
World Food Programme

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I took the quiz and failed terribly, which shows how much more I need to do and learn. Maybe you'll do better, in any case, maybe this can make a difference to someone even if it is small.

We are told that on the Day of Resurrection we will be handed our books of deeds and we will be shocked to see that in it every single thing would have been recorded, even things that we thought was minor.

I think we all need to have as many good deeds as possible, so let's try and do good wherever and how ever we can!

Something worth emphasizing

2011-12-07T15:05:00.000+02:00

As I drove past the shiny, two-door sports car, my first instinct was; “Wow! That’s a smart Car!” But then I took a closer look...

The car was so small that probably only two people could sit in it. There seemed to be no space for anything else. This was definitely not a car someone would take to go shopping or run everyday errands, it just didn’t seem suitable or practical for this at all. Then I realized that was the point. A car like this was not intended for doing the groceries or picking kids up or anything else to do with other people at all. A car like this can be termed “An Individualistic car”.

What is the point though, I wonder, of having something that drives extremely well, looks really good, has all the latest gadgets and features, if you can’t use it to benefit anyone else, except yourself. I know many people will disagree with me. These days I feel like all my ideas are old-fashioned, even archaic, but it just doesn’t seem like any fun to have something that you can’t share with others.

This goes for anything though, anything new, expensive and modern. Take someone’s house for instance. If you have a smart house, with all the latest modern furniture, glass doors, priceless ornaments, etc, then how can that be a home for anyone? You can’t really share that with others because if they come to your house they’ll be too afraid to even sit somewhere because everything looks like a catalogue showroom.

Sharing is supposed to be a fundamental aspect of society. We are not meant to live individualistic lives, we are meant to be individuals who are an important part of other groups. The family, community, society, all these groups are supposed to work together so that we have a world in which people help each other and take care of each other.

Today everything is in reverse, it’s abnormal. The emphasis is on an individualistic lifestyle, and because of this, people in our very own families, communities and societies are suffering. Because of this individualistic mindset, teenagers are getting involved in all types of vices, they’re taking drugs, drinking, clubbing, etc. because they have no support system. Because of this focus on individualism, parents don’t spend enough time with their children and children are left wondering where they fit in. In this individualistic society, your neighbours can be evicted right in front of you and you don’t do a thing to change things. Your family members may have to travel with public transport and walk very far and wait very long, while you drive around town in your shiny convertible. Within this individualistic society, all we think about is ourselves, how we can better our own lives, and we hardly consider how we can better the lives of others.

It shouldn’t matter if you drive a run down, old car, as long as it gets you where you need to go. It shouldn’t matter if your house is plain and simple, as long as you have a comfortable place to live. It shouldn’t matter if you’re not wearing name branded clothing or the latest fashions, as long as you have clothing to cover your body. It shouldn’t matter if you don’t get to eat out every week, or if your meals are plain and simple, as long as you have food to eat. What should matter are all the people out there who don’t have food, homes, clothes or cars! What should matter are other people! We are not meant to live individualistic lifestyles, we are all put on this earth together to help and support each other and we will all be answerable for what we do.

The world would be a better place if we all stood together and helped one another, if we shed our individualistic attitudes and stop obsessing about , “me,me,me”, and start thinking about others, that’s when the world will become a better place. Until then...well, it really doesn’t matter how much we think we are improving our own lives, if we only think about ourselves then all we are, are selfish individuals. We may have the smart car, the fancy house, the designer clothes and shoes, and the three course gourmet meals, but that’s all we have, and in the end that doesn’t count for much at all.

Image 1 from here

Image 2 from here

Confessions of a non-Shopaholic

2011-12-01T15:35:00.000+02:00

I really don’t like shopping; I think I have mentioned this before. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy buying the stuff I need. Alhamdullillah (All Praise is for Allah) I really do like going out and getting the stuff that I need, and stuff that I want as well. But I could never understand how people could spend hours and hours walking around in a shopping mall, going in and out of every single store. It’s madness in my opinion. Not that I haven’t fallen victim to this type of crazy shopping myself, to be honest I also have my moments of ‘shopaholism’. I remember when we my family and I went to Egypt a few years ago, it was so great to see fashionable Islamic clothing that we just went mad. My brothers were extremely irritated when we spent like about 4 to 5 hours in one particular shop. On a regular basis however, if I can avoid shopping then I do, and when I do have to go shopping I always try and make sure it’s on a week day when the shopping mall is quiet.

This is why I was particularly shocked when I watched a news clip the other evening about how crazy shopping can get over the Christmas period. I think it was Sky News that we were watching and they showed how people were going crazy shopping in America. One woman pepper-sprayed a whole crowd of people to get what she wanted; there were also mini stampedes in some supermarkets. Just watching the video clips on how people were “losing it” to get good shopping deals, disturbed me. I mean really, all the commotion over “stuff”, and “discounts”. Now, I know that people are doing Christmas shopping and they have a lot of gifts to buy for their loved ones, but it still is just material things and losing your dignity to get those things doesn’t make any sense at all.

Then a few days ago there was a bomb scare at the shopping mall new my home. They still don’t know what the motive was but there was a bag found with some explosive material or whatever it was, the police were very cryptic, they were obviously trying to reduce the panic. Fortunately nothing happened, some shop keepers saw the bag, became curious and alerted the police. Although the reason for this is not known, it seems that it could’ve been so that the place could be robbed or whatever it is. How crazy is that? Once again, it’s all about material things.

All this shopping hype makes me wonder about things. Year after year, month after month, week after week, people still continue to shop and shop. The world is in economic depression, but still the shopping centres are always full. New things get introduced on a regular basis, and of course people have to have the new things, and if you don’t have money for all the things, it’s okay, because there’s this nice little plastic thing, called a credit card.

The ploy at getting people to buy things is reaching all time highs. Previously when a store wanted you to take out an account with them they’d send you a letter telling you about all the benefits of opening an account with them. Nowadays they send you the letter with a personalised card. All you have to do is go into the store and “buy” something and the card will get activated. You don’t even need to fill out forms so they can check your credit status. The cards they send are beautiful, with lovely designs and colours on it, but the best thing about it is Your Own Name, printed perfectly on the beautiful card. Who wouldn’t be tempted to go into the store and use this? Especially when you see all the nice things that are displayed in their shop windows, naturally you’ll be itching to just go in there and use the card, right- telling yourself that you’ll be able to pay it off in small amounts so it’s no big deal. This is why I cut up those lovely cards as soon as I get them-temptation is a really bad thing, you know.

But anyway, there are many ways to get people to keep shopping; this is not the only method. Sales and discounts, brilliant advertising, free vouchers... I’m sure you’re already thinking of things you can add to this list.

So as far as shopping is concerned, it seems that as long as people are alive, people will continue to shop. Sometimes I think that perhaps this is just a part of life, and then I look back at history and find that people didn’t shop for things. They had simple lives, where they made what they needed, looked after animals, from which they further got their needs, made their own bread, etc, etc.... SO shopping then is a distinct feature of modern day society, and while I have to admit that everything is very easy and much less time consuming, I still can’t help feeling that way too much time and energy goes into shopping. That’s me though- I am a self-confessed “non-shopaholic” after all, so I guess you can expect these types of thoughts from me.

Image from here

It’s a new year

2011-11-26T19:08:00.000+02:00

No, it’s not January 01, but Alhamdullillah we are at the brink of the new Islamic year, moments away (depending on your time zone) from the Month of Muharram, 1433. That is 1433 year’s after hijrah (the migration of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) to Madinah from Makkah).

The month of Muharram is a blessed month; one of the special month’s in Islam. There are many virtues and blessings in this month, but the thing I like the most is the spirit of sharing. The 10^th of Muharram is known as the Day of Ashura, and this is an extra special day. Amongst the many traditions on this day, is the tradition that if someone spends on their family members then they will be given far more back in return. So this is a beautiful time, a time when family ties should be strengthened, a time which reminds us of Allah Almighty’s mercy and we should be grateful.

Muslims don’t celebrate the new year by partying, instead we are encouraged to bring in the new year with fasting so that we can be in a pure spiritual state when the year begins. SubhanAllah.

So with the end of 1432 I have to say Alhamdullillah, I cannot deny all the blessings which Allah has bestowed on me this year and although I can never show full thanks, I am very grateful. As for the various trials, tests and difficulties, I can only pray that I somehow managed to pass these, and Allah is Indeed the Most Merciful of those who show Mercy.

And with the approach of 1433 I pray that Allah gives us all the good of this coming year, and may it be a year which brings us closer to truth and closer to Allah Almighty. May Allah help us all to experience the true beauty of Islam, true connection with Allah, true brotherhood (and sisterhood), true peace and contentment.

May you all have a blessed and amazing 1433- Inshaa-Allah!

Image from here

The reversal of roles

2011-11-21T20:44:00.000+02:00

I was just wondering, does anyone else find it strange that men today care more about their appearance than women do? Seriously, men can be seen in hair salons, going for facials, waxing and even manicures and pedicures sometimes. The new idea of “the perfect man” is someone who is clean shaven and beautiful; with perfect hair and skin; Then I don’t have to tell you what the new idea of “the perfect woman “is, do I? Well the new idea of what a woman should be like is the ultra-tough woman, who’s either out in the career world asserting her power and status, or driving her kids around in a 4x4, never hesitating to show everyone who’s in charge. Whatever the role is, it doesn’t matter, as long women of today are not soft, petite and feminine.

Now, I know that there are many people who would just want to kill me for even writing this. I remember when I was doing my psychology undergraduate degree. One of the important arguments we used to have was about the socialization of males and females. Our lecturers would argue adamantly that it’s not natural for girls to want to play with dolls and for boys to want to play with cars. Instead, according to them children are socialized into these roles from a very young age based on old traditional values of their parents. I could never agree with this argument 100%, some things were true but as a Muslim I know that Allah has created men and women differently and we are supposed to be living out our natural roles in order for harmony to prevail in society.

Of course this does not mean that one role is better than the other or that our different roles make some of us more superior than the others. No, Allah Almighty has told us that men and women are equal in the sight of Allah and the only thing that differentiates people is their piety. On a social, functional level however, we cannot all play the same role because then we’d just have chaos, which is pretty much what is happening in today’s time, although very few people are actually willing to admit to this.

So what happens when the men in society are over concerned about looking good; when they compete for who is the “sexier man”, and who has the better hairstyle, and whose skin is softer and glows more? It’s a complete reversal of everything and as a woman I am left wondering where that leaves us. I mean honestly, who wants to be around a man who spends more time making himself look good than you do?

And I could even take this discussion further by talking about men’s clothing. I remember a while ago I was walking in a department store and looking at the “men’s” clothing I couldn’t help but think that their clothing looked much prettier than the clothing they had in the women’s section. I’m not even joking here, it’s really true. They had these cotton tops with embroidery on it, for men, and really nice fitting pants, not to mention some of the shirts they sell. It really was weird.

So yeah, I guess that’s just the way things are today, but I like being feminine and soft, I like wearing pretty clothes and I’d really prefer to be the one taking longer to make myself look good. As for men, well in my opinion they should look like men. The “metrosexual male” doesn’t really appeal to me. I’m not saying men shouldn’t be well groomed, clean and neat, after all our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was always well groomed, clean and neat, but from the descriptions we are given, he (PBUH) actually looked like a man. So I guess it shouldn’t hurt to have facial hair, and the perfect hairstyle is unnecessary, and seriously manicures and pedicures shouldn’t need to feature at all. In any case, this is just all my opinion, I know that there are many people who would differ with me, but you know what, I’m not asking anyone to agree with me, I’m just telling you what I find strange about today’s world and each person is allowed to have their own opinion.

Image from here

In the name of freedom

2011-11-13T17:35:00.000+02:00

While reading news headlines recently I was so shocked to see an advertisement for “actors” to “star in a porn movie”. The advert was a news article inviting people to audition as if it was a perfectly normal thing. I really was surprised and I actually had to check to make sure that I had read correctly. Unfortunately I had read correctly, this was so disappointing I can’t tell you how it sickened me.

What can you can expect though, from a society which insists on absolute freedom in all regards. It’s no wonder that things which used to be sacred are no longer regarded in this manner. So much so that even very young, innocent children are exposed to all sorts of lewdness and nudity.

Pornography is a real problem in our societies. The negative effects are undoubtedly obvious (that is for those who actually open their eyes and ponder). This includes an increase in sexual related crimes, increase in childhood sexuality and teen pregnancies. Sometimes it has even lead to the breakdown of marriages and families. In short, this is a threat to a moral and righteous way of life. And the problem is that pornography is so easily available to anyone and everyone. Previously people had more shame and perhaps they were stopped from watching these things because of the embarrassment of having other people (albeit strangers) know that you are watching it. People had to go out and get access to these films or magazines, but now there are no boundaries because these things can very easily be accessed in private on cell-phones and computers.

But that’s not all. While many of us would never even think of watching pornographic films or looking at pornographic images, most of us are exposed to various forms of pornography without even realizing it. Television adverts, movies (including family movies and even animations), billboards, magazines and the internet (of course) all contain high degrees of pornographic material. The only difference is that it’s given a different label, thus making it easier for people to accept it. And so we have a situation where it’s extremely difficult not to be affected by this, because even if you decide to only watch the news, you are still affected in some way or the other.

And through it all, these so-called ideas of freedom gets thrown in our faces like nothing else matters. ‘People should be free to do whatever they want to’, we are told. ‘It’s their lives and their bodies so why should they be bound by limits’, right? But I have to ask the question; Can “freedom” at the expense of morality, respect, righteousness and modesty actually be regarded as freedom at all. When hearts and minds are being corrupted with filth; is this really freedom? When children’s innocence is taken away because of all this, is this still “freedom”.

If human beings have no limits at all then they become just like animals, because it is balance and the ability to limit oneself appropriately, not unbridled freedom which differentiates humans from animals. And while I write this, I can’t help but remember the hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) something to this effect:

“There will come a time towards the end of times where people will have sexual intercourse in public like donkeys.”

Alhamdullillah (All Praise is to Allah), the words spoken by our Beloved Prophet (PBUH) always proves to be truthful.

So while they candy-coat all forms of vices and make it look like freedom, Muslims need to remember that we have been given the perfect way to live our lives. We have no need to adopt other lifestyles, and we should not be fooled by false ideas of freedom. You see, we have real freedom, because the freedom we have allows us to live modest and respectful lives which in turn should lead to natural peace and harmony. We have a freedom which elevates us as human beings, and does not degrade or demoralise us, thereby making us behave just like animals.

May Almighty Allah guide and protect us all Inshaa-Allah!

Eid Greetings

2011-11-06T12:04:00.000+02:00

MAY YOU ALL HAVE A BLESSED EID. MAY ALLAH ALMIGHTY ACCEPT THE SACRIFICE OF EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US, MAY ALLAH SHOWER HIS BLESSINGS ON ALL THOSE WHO HAVE PERFORMED THE HAJJ AND MAY THEIR HAJJ BE ACCEPTED BY ALLAH. MAY ALLAH GRANT EVERY MUSLIM THE OPPORTUNITY TO PERFORM THIS BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY AND MAY ALLAH HELP US TO CONSTANTLY IMPROVE OURSELVES SO THAT WE CAN BECOME PEOPLE THAT ALLAH IS PLEASED WITH.

Image from here

Who gets to decide when the world is over-populated?

2011-10-31T15:57:00.000+02:00

So the latest buzz is that the world’s population has reached 7 billion. Some people are really freaking out about this, because for them this means that people are having too many babies. Some countries have limited the amount of children that people can have and others, like me are wondering what the point is of making such a big fuss about a thing which we have no control over.

Although people would like to believe that they have control over the amount of people in the world, the truth is that this is something which has been pre-ordained by Allah Almighty, and no one has the right to try and control this. It is Allah who creates and it is Allah who sustains. Allah created the Earth and thus Allah will put people on Earth accordingly.

The problem comes in however, when people mess around with things that Allah has already pre-ordained. When we humans decide to change the natural order of things then the problems start arising. You see, in my opinion, there should be enough resources on Earth for all its 7 billion people, and likewise, there should be enough space. But these resources as well as the space is so unequally distributed that more than half the people on Earth are suffering, while a small percentage live lives of extravagance and luxury. Now, if everything had to be equally distributed, then there wouldn’t be the type of problems that we have today, and so-called “overpopulation” would never be a problem.

Instead of making right what is wrong however, we humans have decided to take action by correcting one wrong with another. So now instead of equally distributing resources, etc, we’ve decided that the solution is for people to have less children because then no one has to part with the precious resources which they have wrongfully claimed as their own.

So when people have many children it’s regarded as “irresponsible behaviour” and “backwardness”. The ideal family only consists of 2 children, or at most 3. Anything above this is craziness. And through all this modern day thinking, we’ve forgotten what Allah Almighty has already told us.

In the Glorious Quraan Allah tells us that Allah has already pre-ordained how many children each person will have and whether these children will be girls or boys. Clearly, population of the world is in Allah’s hands and human beings have no right to interfere with this.

Although people today are very eager to point out the “harms” of having many children, I will tell you from personal experience that big families are healthy in many ways. I’m not saying that there are no issues, life isn’t perfect so there always has to be issues. However, with more siblings people have more support. Alhamdullillah I come from a big family (we are 8 children), and for me this was always a blessing. Not only has my family allowed me to stay grounded, my siblings have been my support structure, my friends and confidantes, and many times my punching bag (not literally of course). We are able to do more together as a bigger unit and this has given us strength. I have learnt so many different things because of the differences in each of my siblings. Most importantly though, I have learnt important human values such as sharing and giving!

This is not only my experience. I have a close friend who also comes from such a big family and she has related similar experiences to me. I have an aunt who had 13 siblings and I’m always amazed when I see the unity and closeness of that family. There are many such stories, stories which strongly support big families. Yet these stories are never heard, and instead when women reach their fourth child then people already begin to act like there’s something wrong with that and like the woman is so irresponsible for having so many kids.

Allah Almighty has also said in the Glorious Quraan that we should not fear, because Allah will provide for the children we have. So if Allah provides for all the people that Allah has created then what’s the problem? Really, the way I see it, the problem is not “overpopulation”. The problem is “unequal distribution of resources” which basically amounts to selfishness.

So there are 7 billion people in the world! Alhamdullillah (All praise is for Allah), Indeed Allah is the Knower of all things and if Allah wills then this will increase, and if Allah wills then this will decrease. It shouldn’t be a problem, because after all it is Allah who Creates and Allah is the ultimate Controller of All Things.

May Allah Almighty guide us and protect us, inshaa-Allah.

Image from here

Great Women in Islam

2011-10-28T23:29:00.001+02:00

Alhamdullillah (All praise is for Allah) I once again have the privilege of writing about an amazing Muslim woman, and honestly, when I read about the lives of these great women, I truly do feel honoured, just to be receiving the knowledge of these perfect role models. This post will briefly focus on the life of an amazing woman, known as both "Mother of the faithful" and "Mother of the poor".

Zaynab (May Allah be pleased with her) embraced Islam early on.
She was known as “Mother of the poor” because she always helped the poor and the needy.
She married Abdullah ibn Jahsh and migrated with him to Abyssinia.
Her life with 'Abdullah was a clear example of love, obedience and self-sacrifice in marital obligations.
The personality of her husband, 'Abdullah, had really increased her in status; but this made her more humble and more sincere in her love for Allah and His Messenger (PBUH) .
She was never seized by ostentation and arrogance when she married 'Abdullah who was a cousin of Allah's Messenger (PBUH).
Her husband Abdullah ibn Jahsh was martyred in the battle of Uhud.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) knew the pain of separation that Zaynab was suffering from. So he made efforts to console her and he proposed marriage to her. She welcomed the proposal and accepted it. And she entered the household of the Prophet (PBUH) as a mother of the faithful.
Eight months after this marriage, Zaynab, the mother of the faithful and the mother of the poor seriously took ill and died.
She was the only wife of the Prophet (PBUH) who died in his life after Khadeejah. The Prophet (PBUH) was very sad for her departure. He invoked Allah to forgive her and he always remembered her days in patience.

On her character:

Zaynab (May Allah be pleased with her) was very pious. The fragrance of her piety spread with her name.
She was also very humble and did not show pride or ostentation.
She spent most of her time listening to the tales of hardship among the poor and fulfilling their needs.
She was a polite and generous lady.

May Allah Almighty help us to become as generous as Zaynab (May Allah be pleased with her). May we learn to be selfless and giving, like she was. May we become humble and pious and follow in the example of this amazing woman, Inshaa-Allah!

Information sourced from:

1. Muhammad ‘Ali Qutb, (2007). Women Around the Messenger. Riyadh: International Islamic Publishing House.

2. Mothers of the Faithful: The Pure And Spotless. Johannesburg: A Saaberie Chisty Publication:

For more detailed reading- books can be downloaded from:

http://www.kalamullah.com/sisters.html

The horrible effects of alcohol

2011-10-25T21:54:00.000+02:00

It’s almost holiday season and I’m sure that many people can’t wait for the year to end so that they can go off and enjoy the year-end holidays. I’ve noticed something else that comes with the year-end though; it’s an increase in adverts warning people about abusing alcohol.

Even though warnings are increased around this time every year, every year the amount of people that die because of alcohol related accidents is enormous. Obviously the warnings do nothing but decorate the numerous billboards and street poles!

I don’t have to elaborate on the terrible effects of alcohol. We know this all too well- reckless driving is only one of them, there are of course many more!

The reason that I’ve decided to discuss “Drinking and Driving” is because recently I’ve been personally affected by this, in a very indirect way. About 4 weeks ago my aunt’s sister was going home when she met up in a terrible accident. A friend of hers passed away in this accident and she and the lady who helps her clean her home were very badly injured. She was in a semi-conscious state for about 2 weeks and she suffered many injuries. Alhamdullillah (Praise be to Allah) that she now seems like she is on the way to recovery. What does this have to do with the topic at hand you may be wondering, well, we were told that the driver of the car that drove into this lady was drunk on that night!

Can you imagine that, a night of drinking and partying caused so much harm! This is only one such case, there are many more, it happens all the time and still alcohol is freely available to anyone, at any time, (at least here in South Africa that is the case), and all that they’re doing to combat this is to put up more warnings. It’s crazy really!

The more I look at it, the more I can see the wisdom in alcohol being forbidden in Islam. This is really such a horrible thing. People become selfish and ridiculous when they are drunk and what’s worse is that other people’s lives are put in danger!

Then we have the flipside of alcohol warnings, we have alcohol advertisements. Recently there has been talk in South Africa about banning alcohol advertising, but as yet, nothing has been done about this. Whereas warnings remind people that alcohol is unsafe, adverts show off about the “wonderful” lifestyle alcohol can apparently bring you. These advertisements display a life of luxury, friendship, brotherhood, connection, love- all these things can apparently be achieved through alcohol. Basically what they are saying is that if you want a good life then you should drink alcohol. And although this is the biggest load of nonsense, people believe it, because of the way in which it is portrayed. Honestly, I wonder if the people in charge of these alcohol companies actually have a conscience!

I think about Islamic history and remember the story of the time when alcohol was forbidden in Islam. The Sahaabah (Companions of the Prophet (PBUH) -May Allah be pleased with them) were drinking alcohol at the time it was banned, and when they heard the revelation they emptied their bottles immediately without the slightest hesitation whatsoever, and they never went back to it again! SubhanAllah! If only all people of today were so strong. In today’s times people can see the ill effects of alcohol, it’s so obvious and blatant, yet they are not willing to leave it despite this. (Of course this does not apply to all people)

How people can so happily indulge in something that causes harm to themselves as well as others is beyond me, but Alhamdullillah, I think I should be thankful that this is something I cannot relate to.

May Allah Almighty keep us away from all things which cause harm and may Allah give guidance to us all, Inshaa-Allah!

Image from here.

Lamenting the good old days

2011-10-19T22:05:00.000+02:00

I love listening to my parents tell stories of what things were like when they were young. It always transports me back to a time that I can only imagine; A simple time, when people were free to walk around without worrying about getting robbed, kidnapped, murdered, or raped. A time when children could play in the streets for hours on end and parents didn’t have to fear for the safety of their innocent ones; A time when bread, milk and meat were bought on a day-to –day basis from the local shop around the corner; A time where neighbours knew one another, and treated each other like family. There were no high walls, barbed wire, electric fencing or high rise apartment buildings for that matter stopping people from knowing each other. It sounds like it was a humane time, where everything was simple and easy. And although people had very little in terms of material wealth, they seem to have had an abundance of things with real value.

As much as I love hearing my parents speak about those times, I can’t help but feel sadness. See, I’ve always thought that I actually belonged in those times instead of these times. And I know that we should be grateful for the times we are in because everything has its benefits and downfalls, but seriously, I can’t help getting frustrated with the society we live in today. If those times were humane times, then I think these times can be described as mechanical, robotic, technology driven, crazy times.

The local news attests to this every evening. The headlines here in South Africa read something like this; “ Teenager kidnapped on her way to school and murdered”, “Young child killed for muti (traditional medicine)”, “Killers of farmer were reportedly abused continuously”, “Teenager forced to have abortion after affair with her school teacher”.... It can go on and on, and it’s the same story every single day, different people, but the exact same story. It’s so depressing and really, where is the humanity in this? The world seems to be filled with crazy people. Then there are the stinking rich who waste money on the most ridiculous of things while people suffer all over the world. Everything about these times seems to be upside down.

Besides all this though, life in general just seems to have gotten extra complicated over the past, like thirty years or something. Whereas in my parents time (and they’re not that old) very few people had cars, now the roads are so full that traffic makes people go crazy and the instances of road rage are on a steady increase, not to mention serious accidents. Then, when people didn’t have proper homes in those times, these days many people own huge homes with many additional rooms, yet there is disunity in families and in society. Whereas before things were less convenient, and everything couldn’t easily be purchased at a supermarket, now everything is at our fingertips (literally) but people are unhealthy, unhappy and alone. I could go on and on but I think you get my point by now!

So yeah, that’s why when I hear my parents speaking I have a longing, a longing for simple times, a longing for simple people, for simple interactions with others and for a generally simpler life. Alhamdullillah (Praise be to Allah) there are many benefits in our times, but it still somehow seems that those benefits come at a cost, like humanity as a race is regressing instead of progressing. I don’t know what you think, perhaps I am too old fashioned and boring, but listening to my parents speak about their youth always tends to make me feel like I missed out. Maybe one day it will be the same for my children, maybe they’ll look back and regard these times as good times, who knows what the future holds for the human race, in the end, Allah The Creator, is the Knower of all things, across al times!

All that I can do is try to make my life as simple as possible, after all, wasn’t simplicity a beautiful part of the Sunnah (way of life) of our Most Beloved Leader, Muhammad (PBUH).

Image from here

On time, health and old age

2011-10-11T23:14:00.000+02:00

If you are a regular reader of this blog you would have noticed that I have not posted anything for a while now. Well, what can I say; sometimes life comes in the way of blogging!

So here’s the thing, I’ve been really busy with work. I’m sure you must be familiar with those extremely busy moments, you know, those sleepless nights, I can’t think of anything else accept all the work I have to do moments.

Then to top it off I had a few “off days” last week where I wasn’t feeling too well. I think it was a bug or something.

Also, my grandmother is staying with us again and although she won’t admit it (she must be the youngest 81 year-old around, always wanting to be on the go), my grandmother needs help. Things are not easy for her anymore; in fact, even walking from one room to the next tends to leave her out of breath.

So I have some very valid reasons for my short disappearance from blogosphere, but I’m not writing about these things to make excuses, and definitely not to complain.

Alhamdullillah (Praise be to Allah), my work seems to be easing off, and I am able to do other things once again, (as you can see). My health is back to normal and I feel good once more, and I actually enjoy having my grandmother around. But the real reason I’ve mentioned these things is because it reminds me of a very special hadith. Perfect words of wisdom uttered by our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH);

The Prophet (saw) advised to: “Take benefit of five before five: Your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death”
(Narrated by Ibn Abbas and reported by Al Hakim).

After reading this beautiful hadith, which happens to be one of my favourites, I’m sure the purpose of my post is much clearer. When I am so busy with work, I definitely miss my free time, when I am sick I long for my health. When I don’t have enough money to buy the things I really want, I look back at times when I could get everything I wanted, and I’m sure that like my grandmother, when I am old, I will fondly recall my youthful days and long for times when I could do all the things I wanted to do without getting tired or ending up sick.

So this makes me wonder, what about taking benefit from my life before my death? Am I doing enough to ensure that my life is beneficial for me so that I don’t have many regrets in the hereafter, or will I look back and wish that I had not taken my life for granted? Sometimes we all need to self-reflect and ponder about our lives.

Alhamdullillah that we have been blessed with the best of wisdom and if we follow it, Inshaa-Allah we will be successful. So let us try harder to take benefit from these 5 things, before we don’t have it anymore. Or, in the very least, let us start by taking benefit of just one of these things, and as time progresses we can move on to another.

May the Almighty Allah ease all of our burden’s and help us to be the best of people, Inshaa-Allah

To Smile is Charity

2011-09-29T21:21:00.000+02:00

It’s funny how little things in life tend to make a difference, or maybe it’s just me?

See, there’s this Robot (Traffic Light) in Johannesburg that has a smiley face on it. Unlike all the other’s which just show you a blank circle when the light changes, this one has a smiley face. So when it turns green, a smiley face happily tells you that you can go.

It’s a little thing, I know, and many people might just drive by without even giving it a second thought, but for me, this traffic light is a reminder, an echo of life.

Isn’t it nice when someone smiles at you, amidst all the people that just walk by, blank expressions on their faces? That person who actually smiles tends to stand out. It should ideally be the other way around, but this is not an ideal world, unfortunately!

The Blessed Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon Him) taught us that even to smile at someone is charity. There is indeed such wisdom which lies behind this seemingly small teaching!

Imagine if someone is having a really bad day, going through whatever problems it may be, and you take the time to smile at her, wouldn’t that gesture make a huge difference in that person’s life, creating some sort of hope. I know that for me it’s really nice when a fellow sister smiles at me, and it’s true that when you are negative, the negative energy that you transmit can easily be picked up by others around you.

I’ll share a little story here, my own personal experience. There’s a parking attendant who stands outside a bank I often go to, helping people to find a parking spot. I always greet him, since you tend to become familiar with people you see often. When he became a Muslim he began to greet even more enthusiastically as we now shared a common faith, and he could use the greeting of peace (As salaamu alaykum). One day I was lost in thought as I got out of the car and I didn’t pay much attention to him. The poor man picked up on that immediately, and he said to me; “sister, are you angry at me, how come you didn’t greet today?” (or something to this effect) I honestly felt so bad, but it reaffirmed the fact that negativity breeds negativity, and vice versa.

See, it’s the little things in life that make a difference. Although we may think it only makes a small difference , we don’t know that it may in fact make a huge difference in someone else’s life. So we should try to smile more often,(as a good friend of mine always reminds us, to smile is charity but that doesn’t mean that women should go around smiling with the men we see, they may get the wrong idea, if you know what I mean). But, yes , by all means we should smile with our fellow sisters, and brothers should smile with fellow brothers, and for those sisters who wear niqab and cover their faces, there’s no excuse, a friendly greeting is never too difficult. Remember that we should greet those that we know and those that we do not know. This is another beautiful teaching of our Beloved Prophet (PBUH).

So let’s try to practise on these small but very significant teachings, and let us remember that it doesn’t take much to be charitable.

Image from here:

Great Women in Islam

2011-09-24T20:24:00.000+02:00

The more I learn about the Blessed lives of the Great women in Islam, the more I am amazed, Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah)! Each one of them was so different, yet each one so wonderful in her own way. There are so many lessons to learn and so many great examples to follow, and I am convinced that even if we follow just one of these beautiful women, then our lives will be much better, Inshaa'Allah.

The Great Woman that we'll be learning about in this post is:

õ She was the daughter of the Quraysh leader, Abu Sufyaan and the sister of Mu’awiyah- May Allah be pleased with him (the leader of the Muslims after Ali (May Allah be pleased with him)

õ She was one of the early Muslims and she migrated with her husband, ‘Ubaydullah ibn Jahsh, to Abyssinia.

õ In Abyssinia her husband became a Christian, indulged in drinking alcohol and then died.

õ When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) learned of Umm Habeebah’s loneliness, he sent her a message asking for her hand in marriage.

õ She willingly and happily accepted the proposal.

õ Since the Prophet (PBUH) was not present in Abyssinia, The Negus, (The ruler of Abyssinia) paid the bridal money on behalf of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). The amount given was four hundred dinar.

õ Ja’far ibn Abu Talib (the cousin of the Prophet (PBUH) gave a speech on the occasion of the marriage taking place and the Negus threw a banquet.

õ Umm Habeebah was also given other marriage gifts on this occasion which she took with her when she returned to the Prophet (PBUH)

õ Due to the situation at the time (the persecution of Muslims in Makkah, etc), Umm Habeebah only returned to the Prophet (PBUH) after many years, with Ja’far (May Allah be pleased with him) and only then was the marriage consummated.

õ Umm Habeebah’s purity and piety was evident and one evidence of this was that she received true dreams. She dreamt about her husband’s conversion to Christianity before it occurred. She also dreamed that someone was referring to her as “Mother of the Believers” ( A title given to the wives of the Prophet (PBUH), shortly before the proposal from the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) came to her.

õ Umm Habeebah was one of the Muslims who had not seen the Prophet (PBUH) for about 15 years due to the migration to Abyssinia, but like her fellow Muslim brothers and sisters, she received the words of the Glorious Quraan from Muslims travelling to Abyssinia, she memorised and understood what she had learnt.

õ Although she was naturally a very calm and peaceful person, when Umm Habeebah needed to stand firm in the path of Islam, she did this bravely. On one occasion while her father was still a polytheist, he came to her apartment and wanted to sit on the rug of the Noble Prophet (PBUH). Umm Habeebah quickly pulled it away, and when her father enquired about this she said that; “It is the Prophet's bed and you are a filthy polytheist!!"

-Abu Sufyaan then said, "You have been afflicted with evil after me."

-She retorted, ''No, I have rather been blessed with all goodness."

õ In spite of few years that Umm Habeebah spent with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH), she has memorized and narrated a considerable number of hadiths from him. She therefore faithfully and trustworthily took part in enriching the noble Sunnah (Teachings of the Prophet (PBUH).

This is account has been shortened considerably and the entire story is very interesting, so, to read more, you can download books from:
http://www.kalamullah.com/sisters.html

May Almighty Allah increase us all in beneficial knowledge, Inshaa-Allah!

Another group of inspiring Muslimahs

2011-09-19T22:35:00.000+02:00

Alhamdullillah (Praise be to Allah). I truly regard myself as someone who is fortunate, because I always get the chance to meet people who are inspiring in so many different ways, and I have to say that a lot of them are Muslim sisters. On Saturday I had the pleasure of meeting another group of Muslim sisters who really left me feeling so inspired and positive about the contributions that Muslim sisters can make to society, while still maintaining their modesty according to Islam.

This group of sisters run a centre for people with disabilities. They have a multi-disciplinary team and thus the treatment that they provide is holistic. Of course there are the educators, some trained according to the National school curriculum, and some trained in Islamic studies. Then they have speech and hearing therapists, a physiotherapist, an occupational therapist and a psychologist. These women are all professional, they are dynamic and exciting, motivated in what they’re doing and passionate about making a difference, and they are Muslim women.

Muslim women, who are covered in hijab, some of them wear niqab as well. Muslim women who are not oppressed or stifled, but in fact encouraged to use their talents for the good of others. Some of them have managed to rope in their husbands and other family members and friends to assist as well. MashaAllah, being in the presence of this group of women reassured me of what I already know, and not that I needed reassurance, but in any case, it reminded me that Muslim women can be inspiring and positively contribute to society without compromising their modesty and Islamic ethics in any way.

This is what people today don’t seem to get. You see it’s not about the clothes we wear. No! It has nothing to do with that, clothes are just a cover, it’s not meant to be a big deal. It doesn’t mean that you cannot do anything at all because you’re covered up. It’s something like the curtains you put on your windows; the curtains serves to cover your home so that strangers cannot look inside and see the beauty of the inside of your home, but those that you invite into your house are allowed to see the beauty and to gain benefit from it. Putting curtains up in your home doesn’t make your home inaccessible, but it makes it accessible to the right people. And this is the same thing with Muslim women’s dress.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, people have blown the way Muslim women dress out of proportion and in focusing on the outside cover of a woman, they have ignored so many other things. Since when did dress determine how productive a woman can be? Here we have another good example of how Muslim women are able to do such amazing work in society, how they are able to study and become professionals and then use their qualifications to uplift their society, and the way they dress has not stopped them from doing this at all, if anything it has helped them to want to be better.

So, perhaps we need to remember that we should never judge a book by its cover, or in this case, never judge a Muslimah by her covers. I commend the hard work of my fellow Muslim sisters and I pray that Allah Almighty gives them the strength to continue with the good work that they are doing. And as always, I pray that Allah opens the eyes, hearts and minds of my fellow human beings, so that they too are able to look beyond the outer covers and begin to understand.

Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/nomad-one/page2/

Salaah The Best Gift

2011-09-14T23:53:00.000+02:00

Tired feet touch the soft prayer mat and the heart finds peace,
Almost immediately the limbs are put at ease,
Spiritual and physical benefits in each posture,
All the blessings we’ll never know for sure.

The prayer, so perfect and holistic,
Everything beautifully in sync,
Until we reach the ultimate position,
Bowed down, head and body flat, completely surrendered in prostration.

The words that are uttered have brought many to tears,
That is, of course, for those with open hearts and ears.
It shouldn’t matter how long you take,
Everything else should be left to wait.

The hustle and bustle of the world drowned out,
Remembering what this world and our existence is really about,
Everything seems so insignificant and small in comparison,
The prayer bringing us together in unison.

Some have spoken about a light that emanates,
We cannot all see, but there are different states.
The servant connecting with the Master, the Creator,
Building our faith, stronger and stronger.

Ah! This is a special kind of sweetness,
That we simple human beings are allowed to witness,
The ultimate truth, in the best of ways,
And it really doesn’t matter what who says.

There were times when I used to take it for granted,
Forgetting the treasure I had being given,
But with Allah’s will I was brought back to my senses,
And now I am no longer content to sit on fences.

I wouldn’t give it up for the world,
Because it surpasses all that we know,
The goodness is only for our own benefit,
And this salaah, this prayer is truly the best gift.

(SubhanAllah, Alhamdullillah, Allahu Akbar)

Image from here

Oh Allah, the Almighty, Lord of the Worlds, Our Creator and Maintainer, please do not ever take away this blessed gift from us, and help us to always see it as a blessed gift and allow us to appreciate it and receive coolness and peace from it, and please accept all our efforts, even though they are flawed and imperfect, please have mercy on us all, Inshaa Allah, Ameen!

Great Women in Islam

2011-09-08T23:03:00.000+02:00

I know there hasn't been a Great Women in Islam quiz question for a long time, but I was going to put one up and with Ramadhaan and everything just didn't get down to doing it, so anyway the Great Woman that I will be posting about this time is:

Mariyah (May Allah be pleased with her) was an Egyptian who was sent with her sister as a gift to the Prophet of Allah (Peace be Upon Him) by the ruler of Egypt at the time, named Muqawqis.
This happened when the Prophet (PBUH) sent an envoy to Egypt with the message of Islam around the year 6 (After Hijrah*)
Muqawqis did not accept Islam, but he treated the envoy well and sent gifts back to the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). Thus Mariyah (May Allah be pleased with her) was one of the gifts. The Prophet (PBUH) gave her sister, named Seereen as a gift to Hasan ibn Thabit (May Allah be pleased with him).
Mariyah embraced Islam and she practised the religion devotedly.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) cohabited with Mariyah (May Allah be pleased with her), in accordance with the Shar’iah, as his maidservant that “his right hand possessed”.
The Prophet (PBUH) was very fond of Mariyah .

Mariyah became pregnant, while none of the Prophet’s (PBUH) wives had become pregnant since he came to Madinah.
He was very happy about this and his love and affection for Mariyah increased.
Mariyah (May Allah be pleased with her) delivered a baby boy who the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) named Ibraheem, as a way of seeking blessing with his ancestor, Prophet Ibraheem (Peace be upon Him).
That was in the month of Dhul-Hijjah, in the eighth year after Hijrah.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) then said about Mariyah (May Allah be pleased with her) that “Her son has set her free”.

The Prophet’s (PBUH) joy at the birth of his son Ibraheem was great and this joy increased day by day in his heart.
When Ibraheem was 18 months old, he became a victim of a fever. All remedies were of no avail. He breathed his last in the arms of his father. The women broke into tears and wept in solidarity with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH).
Looking at the dead body of his son Ibraheem, the Prophet (PBUH) said something to this effect: “The eyes flow with tears and the heart with grief, but I say nothing except that which pleases my Lord. Ibraheem we are grieved over you. We are not against His will as He is our Master.”
Then he looked lovingly and with pity at Mariyah (May Allah be pleased with her) and comforted her by saying; “He has a nurse in paradise. The remaining days of his nursing will be done in paradise.”
Mariyah (May Allah be pleased with her) lived for about 5 years after the death of Allah’s Messenger (PBUH).
Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him) used to pay her maintenance and Umar (May Allah be pleased with Him) continued to do this after Abu Bakr.

*Hijrah- Immigration from Makkah to Madinah.

Information sourced from:

1. Muhammad ‘Ali Qutb, (2007). Women Around the Messenger. Riyadh: International Islamic Publishing House.

2. Mothers of the Faithful: The Pure And Spotless. Johannesburg: A Saaberie Chisty Publication:

For more detailed reading- books can be downloaded from:

http://www.kalamullah.com/sisters.html

My Ramadhaan of Sharing

2011-09-04T18:44:00.000+02:00

It’s only a few days after the Blessed month of Ramadhaan has left us, and I have to admit that I really miss it. The peace and serenity, the heightened spirituality of people around you, the sound of the Glorious Quraan, the moderation in eating, drinking and sleeping. Things can just never be the same out of Ramadhaan, no matter what we do. But, nonetheless, we have to be thankful for everything and if we didn’t have this special month and all months were the same then we would never know the difference. Ramadhaan might be over, but Alhamdullillah (Praise be to Allah) the lessons that we have learnt in Ramadhaan can stay with us forever.

This Ramadhaan I found myself having to share, but the sharing that I had to do was very different from what you would expect to share in Ramadhaan. See, my grandmother came to stay with us in the first week of Ramadhaan, and so I found myself having to share, not my food, or money, but my time and space. This type of sharing is something that I think I have taken for granted. I mean, it’s easy to give someone some of your food, or to give them some of your money, but having to give up your comforts and share your space with someone and having to spend time seeing that someone else has all that they need is a bit of a different story.

So it was that I found that the things I usually take for granted, suddenly appeared to me as real gifts. Whereas usually I am at liberty to spend my time as I want to, now I found that I had to make special time to do the things that I wanted to do. And whereas before my granny arrived, my space was my own, now I had to be mindful of her needs as well. For instance, before using the bathroom I had to make sure that my grandmother didn’t need to use it, and instead of staying up late and reading or doing whatever I usually do, I had to make sure that the lights were out early because being an old lady, my granny had to sleep early. I found that nothing was my own anymore, the prayer mat I usually perform my salaah on was given to my granny so that she could perform her salaah, even my hairbrush was now being shared with my grandmother since she had forgotten to bring her own one with. I have to admit that initially I found it strange to have to share everything , but after a while something strange happened, it didn’t matter anymore, I just stopped caring, Alhamdullillah!

One day we heard the story of a man who hit his son when his son said to him that he would bring “his pillow” for the father. The father hit the son because he told him that nothing in this world belongs to us. This is such an important lesson and Alhamdullillah that I was given a chance to learn it. The things that I had believed to be mine was actually not mine at all, it had only being given to me through the will of Allah Almighty, and now Allah wanted someone else to make use of it as well, and I had to be thankful for that, because at least Allah had not taken it away from me completely, and besides this was only going to be a temporary situation.

So in addition to this Ramadhaan teaching me how to share, it also taught me how to be grateful for all the comforts and all the ease that I usually have in my life. Also, the price of having to share was a small one to pay when we consider the blessings you get for having guests over and taking care of old people.

So yes, Ramadhaan may be over for this year, but I truly hope that these important lessons I’ve learnt will never leave me. Inshaa Allah.

PS: I apologise for the long dealy, but Inshaa Allah I hope to be starting with my Great Women in Islam posts again very soon.

Image from: http://laughingsquid.com/sharing-is-caring-hd-dvd-hex-code-t-shirt/

A Beautiful Inspiration Award

2011-09-03T13:27:00.001+02:00

I'd like to thank dear Marie, for once again sharing this beautiful award with me:

Marie's constant support of this blog, with constant positive feedback and awards is really appreciated. I pray that she always has light, joy and contentment in her life.

From Marie's blog The Colour of Our skin, I have learnt so much about diversity and the every day issues that we have to face when we embrace all cultures without discrimination. This is definitely one of the blogs that I constantly read and I'm sure if you begin to read it you won't stop as well.

Having said that... There are some rules that go with this award:

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Copy and paste the award on your site and copy the link of the person who gave you the award.
Then answer the tag questions! And Don't send it back to me - this one has been made to fly away........
Nominate any blogs you feel deserve it.

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Okay, so I've already done the 1st one, let's move on to the next one....

EIGHT EASY TAG QUESTIONS:

What makes you laugh, smile or giggle? The funny things that children come up with.
What are your dreams for your future? For me and my family to move away from the crazy City life and live a more quiet,wholesome life. Peace in the world.
If you are to go to a cruise, where would it be and why? It wouldn't matter where I was going, I love the sea and would be glad to go on any cruise.
How would you spend your vacation time and with whom? 2 ways; 1. Going for Umrah (minor pilgrimage) and spending time in the Blessed Cities of Makkah and Madinah. 2. Relaxing on the beach. It would always ideally be with my entire family (which is very big)
If given a chance, what life would you choose? Your life now or your past? Definitely my life now, I think that the past is something to learn from so that we can become better people and going back to the way my life was in the past would be a sort of regression.
Is there something that you wished before when you were young but you didn’t get it? I guess there were many things, but nothing worse making a fuss over.
Have you been in a situation where you might have given up but still you chose to move on? I think I came close to being in this situation many years ago, but I was extremely fortunate to be reminded that nothing in this world is worth giving up over, and when we move on we begin to grow in ways that we didn't know was possible.
Is their someone in your life who has been your source of strength and inspiration? Yes, both my parents!

These questions were supposed to be easy but they were actually much more difficult to answer than I expected... Anyway, the last rule is to share this award with others.

For this one I've decided to keep it general and I share this award with every blogger out there who is able to inspire anyone, even in a small way. Inspiration comes in different ways for different people and just taking the time to put up posts and share thoughts and experiences is inspiring in its own, so therefore this one goes out to...

ALL INSPIRATIONAL BLOGGERS.

Blessed Eid

2011-08-30T23:00:00.008+02:00

I know this is rather late for most of you have already celebrated Eid, but nonetheless since our Eid Celebrations in South Africa have only begun, I'm posting this now, rather late than never I guess.

I thought I'd just add a little info. on why the celebration is called Eid, hope you find this useful, Inshaa Allah, I know I did.

May Allah Almighty make it easy for us all to continue with all the good that we have done in The Blessed month of Ramadhaan and may Allah make it easy for us to stay away from all the bad that we refrained from in the month of Ramadhaan, and may Allah give us a year filled with peace and blessings until the next Ramadhaan-Inshaa Allah.

Lovely Blog Award

2011-08-29T22:51:00.000+02:00

This post is long overdue, but anyway I am thankful that I have some time to do this now.

I'd like to thank a special lady for giving me this award. Marie is a woman with a kindness and caring that is rare today. She would do anything for the people she loves and her openness and acceptance of others is something that I admire. Marie, may you always be blessed and may your efforts and sacrifices be accepted.

The thing I like the most about Marie's blog is that it gives off real emotions and experiences, giving the reader the sense that she is indeed inside Marie's world, actually sharing her experiences. If you don't already know this blog then you should check it out now!

Okay, so now the part that I don't really like that much, 7 things about myself. Oh Where to start??? Okay, here goes...

1. I like to experience things for myself instead of being told about it.
2. Similarly, I don't like hearing things about someone from others, I like to make up my own mind about what type of person I think someone is.
3. I've come to learn the best life lessons from the strangest experiences.
4. I truly believe that nothing in life is a problem if you have faith in the Creator.
5. I think that living a life of simplicity is the best way to live.
6. I always have to finish things I have to do quickly, otherwise it begins to work on me.
7. Tonight I feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy for the Blessed Eid Day which I will be celebrating on Wednesday, Sad that tommorow is the last day of the Blessed month of Ramadhaan. Guess all good things have to come to an end right?

Well, since that's out of the way, let's award some other lovely bloggers... (This is in no particular order)

- After Hardship There Is Ease- I've recently come across this blog and was intrigued by it after reading an amazing post about Sister Aminah Assilmi . It's an interesting take on life and I love the name of the blog.

-Crafty Muslimah- This blog really makes me feel at home, since this sister is a fellow South African (although from another city). I love the pictures that are posted each day, these are simple things yet they say so much.

- Inspirational Quotes Everyday- I think the name sums up the blog very nicely.

- Rose water- Most of you already know this blog, but for those who don't, you'll find a variety of posts here, from spiritual to cooking, this blog perfectly shows the diversity of and multifaceted nature of Muslim women.

- Spill Beans- This blog is just fun, even the serious posts are written in way that makes you smile.

- Sweet Serenity- I always find great reads at this blog, which also discusses a variety of relevant topics.

Well that's it for now people. Thanks again to Marie and to all the great bloggers who've been awarded and also those who haven't been awarded.

For those of you celebrating Eid- Have a Blessed Day!!!

That Ramadhaan Feeling

2011-08-22T23:04:00.000+02:00

Although I am very happy that it’s the Blessed month of Ramadhaan, I have to admit that things don’t seem all that right this year. Usually there is a particular “feel” in the month of Ramadhaan. You just feel like its extra special and you somehow feel different inside. This year has got me wondering because that extra special feeling I usually have seems to be amiss somehow. The days still seem special, the nights still peaceful, the moments spent in recitation of the Glorious Quraan or praying salaah still seem more meaningful, just like every year, then why do things still seem so different? And then it hit me...

Last year Ramadhaan I was honoured to have spent the last ten days of the month in the best place on earth, the Blessed City of Madinah. Nothing can compare to those ten days, and my years of special Ramadhaan’s seem bleak in comparison. The late night Taraweeh prayers with the most beautiful Quraanic recitation still lingers in my mind. The search for a small space in the extra full Masjid Nabawi so that you can perform your prayers, standing squashed up amidst a huge crowd of women and not knowing if my space to put my head down is still going to be there when I need to prostrate, or whether another woman would have found her way in. The scrambling for a glass of zam-zam water to break the fast at the time of Iftaar. The scores of people, leisurely enjoying the serenity of the entire place. The families sitting together eating their final morning meal before they begin their fast, while others are immersed in prayer. The early morning sounds of Quraan being recited from the Masjid Nabawi as Qiyaam-ul-Layl (late night/early morning voluntary prayers) is being performed. The continuous hustle and bustle, shops open till late, people completely at leisure, food and water being handed out as you walk on the streets. Every single person doing the same thing, every single person seeking blessings from Allah Almighty. The completely packed city, with more people than you’ll ever see together at the same place, at the same time (except of course for the amount of people in Makkah in Ramadhaan which exceeds the scores of people in Madinah and if you had to consider Hajj time which is much fuller). This was Ramadhaan in Madinah, how can I ever have that old time extra special feeling again, after experiencing something so amazing.

As I sit here in South Africa this Ramadhaan I am extremely thankful for my experience last year, and I am glad that during this Blessed month people around me seem to be trying so much harder to be better people and better Muslims, but my heart still longs for Madinah, and the longing of the heart is something that is not in our control. Last year this time I was there, in the Blessed City, this year I will pray that the light, peace and happiness that I experienced there, can be experienced by all of us, over and over again. It’s true, you don’t have to be in Makkah or Madinah to receive blessings, you can connect with your Lord, even from the corner of your room, in your house, anywhere in the world, even in South Africa. The connection is definitely much more vivid there, but it’s Ramadhaan, a month I like to regard as a month of gifts, a month of opportunity. There are opportunities to receive blessings, to be granted forgiveness , and for the acceptance of prayers, but most of all, there are extra opportunities to connect with Allah and find the Ultimate Truth.

It is the last few days of Ramadhaan, these nights are the most blessed as I’m sure you all already know, if you can remember me in your prayers, then please do so. Let us take the opportunities we have right now; we have no idea where we’ll be next year.

Image from: http://navedz.wordpress.com/2009/09/05/picture-perfect-friendship-across-nations/

Women in the Glorious Qur’aan

2011-08-10T18:03:00.000+02:00

Yesterday was “National Woman’s Day” here in South Africa, and obviously, for this day, women and their achievements were proudly brought to the fore. Newspapers included articles about women and their work, even government found it necessary to talk about the most pressing issues that women have to deal with. I think it's really great to do this, but Why all this isn’t done on a more regular basis is a major question,! Never mind that for now though, I clearly remember posting something about that last year on “Women’s Day” so there’s not much point in repeating myself, now is there?

Since it is the Blessed month of Ramadhaan and I have been spending more time reciting the Glorious Qur’aan, (only through the mercy of Allah) the thoughts that came to my mind yesterday were about women in the Qur’aan. A few days ago I recited the Chapter in the Qur’aan on women. SubhanAllah (Glory be to Allah), it feels really nice to know that the Noble Qur’aan dedicates a whole chapter (one of the longer ones) to women’s issues. So actually here we have a place where women’s issues and women’s rights are discussed on a continuous basis, not just on one day. All we have to do is read about it. Let me just mention here that this Chapter is not the only place in the Qur’aan where women’s issues are discussed. Also, the Qur’aan is not something that is static, and which only applies to certain people at a certain time. The Qur’aan is alive in its messages and its words apply to us all and will continue to apply to people in years to come. This is definitely not a book with outdated information which requires a new publication every year or two.

I was saddened however, when I thought about what people have done to the idea of women in the Qur’aan. I’m sure most of you know what I’m talking about; Those people who have found it appropriate to blaspheme the Glorious Qur’aan by saying that the Qur’aan encourages women abuse and oppression of women. Now I know that they’ve put forth their arguments in a way that may seem convincing to many people, especially since they take out “quotes” (or I should say half-quotes, or incomplete quotes) from the Qur’aan to backup their erroneous arguments. And I also know that these very people would regard me as an oppressed Muslim woman who doesn’t know any better, but I can tell you that anyone who reads the Glorious Qur’aan with an open heart, with good intention and in completion will agree with me that indeed the Qur’aan is the best advocate for women’s rights!

My sadness was decreased a bit when I recalled some other verses in the Qur’aan where Allah Almighty speaks about people who distort verses of the Qur’aan, and who use the verses out of context to back up erroneous claims and lies. SubhanAllah (Glory be to Allah)! There is nothing that Allah is unaware of.

So for those who say that the Qur’aan advocates inequality between males and females, I deny this false claim and plead with you to read properly. For those who say that the Qur’aan encourages women abuse, I ask you to open your mind and read with understanding and for those who claim that the source of oppression of women is the Qur’aan once again I strongly disagree with all these claims. When I read the Glorious Qur’aan it makes me feel special. It makes me feel worthy and it makes me feel like it doesn’t matter what the whole world may say and do, because Our Creator, The One, Allah, knows best about every single one of us, male and female, and I am reassured over and over again that the Glorious Qur’aan is the best advocate for women’s rights . This is indeed a place where women are given a status of importance. If we but only take the time to ponder correctly, with open hearts then we will see that this is the truth.

Allah wants people to live together in peace and with kindness. So much so that Allah Almighty keeps encouraging men to be kind to their women. Even in the case of divorce (and we all know how ugly divorces can get), men are urged to treat women with kindness. In all instances women’s needs are considered, even in the case of divorce. These needs include emotional, psychological, physical and financial. The rules are clear, the injunctions are clear, there should be no need for confusion. Allah says plainly that men should live with women in kindness or part with them in kindness. Another example is that according to the Qur’aan, men are allowed to marry up to four women, but if they fear that they will be unjust then they should marry just one. There are many other instances such as these which make it clear that Allah Almighty only wants what’s good for us, and Allah understands the nature of men and the nature of women, BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE!

Allah Almighty says in the Glorious Qur’aan that it is Allah who knows best about all His Creatures. Allah is The Creator, Allah is The Knower and Allah is the One who has set out clear guidance for both males and females. What Allah has prescribed for us is definitely what is best for us. I can say with conviction that the Most Glorious Qur’aan does not encourage or excuse any of the actions that people claim it does. One of Allah Almighty’s beautiful names is “The Just” and Allah will not put forth anything that will harm or oppress anyone, man or woman!

Glory be to Allah and All Praise be to Allah who has given us the Most Beautiful Book, the Qur’aan in which is clear guidance and only Truth! May Allah open up our hearts to accept and understand this truth, inshaa Allah.

Ten days of the Blessed month of Ramadhaan have already passed, the time is going too quickly. I hope that you are all making the best of this time we have being given and I wish you all the best for the remaining days of Ramadhaan!

Image taken from: http://pictures4gallery.blogspot.com/2011/07/quran-pak-pics.html

I know I've been quiet lately

2011-07-29T22:16:00.000+02:00

Just to let you know that I haven't had a chance to post anything in quite some time. I am going to be a bit late with my "Great Women in Islam" post this time, but inshaa Allah it will be up soon.

The reason for my absence is something that many of you will be able to relate to:

RAMADHAAN PREPARATION

The plan was to get all the necessary things done before the Blessed Month arrives so that inshaa Allah during the month of Ramadhaan we can concentrate on more important things, so things have been quite busy. As soon as I can I will be posting regularly once again....

...In the Meantime:

RAMADHAAN KAREEM TO ALL OF YOU, MAY THE ALMIGHTY ALLAH SHOWER YOU WITH BLESSINGS AND GIVE YOU A MONTH OF PEACE, WHICH SERVES TO BRING YOU CLOSER TO ALLAH!

Great Women in Islam

2011-07-15T22:53:00.001+02:00

The answer for the quiz question (Which one of the wives of the Prophet (PBUH) was married to the Beloved Prophet (PBUH) for less than three years, then the Prophet (PBUH) passed away?) is:

Like Juwairiyah (May Allah be pleased with her), Maymoonah (May Allah be pleased with her) was also first named Barrah, and her name was also changed for the same reason that Juwairiyah’s name was changed. The Prophet (PBUH) didn’t like self-praise (as was mentioned in the previous Great Women post).
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) died less than three years after marrying Maymoonah (May Allah be pleased with her).
She was first married to a man named Masud Bin Umar Saqfi.
After divorce she married Abu Rahm, who died shortly thereafter.
She lived as a widow in Makkah, till the age of 51 years.
The people proposed her to marry the Noble Prophet (PBUH).
The Holy Prophet (PBUH) proceeded on Umrah (minor pilgrimage) in the month of Dhul Qaddah, in the 7^th year after Hijrah (migration to Madinah) and that is when their maariage took place.
Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) the uncle of the Prophet (PBUH) arranged the marriage.
This marriage led to the establishment of close links between Arab Tribes.

Maymoonah (May Allah be pleased with her) was extremely pious and gentle.
She was much afraid of Allah Almighty and strengthened the ties between kith and kin.
She always followed the commands of the Prophet (PBUH).
The Holy Prophet (PBUH) called her a symbol of goodness.
She was very fond of reforming women and teaching them to be good and virtuous.
She was also very fond of freeing slaves.
Once she got a maid servant freed and the Beloved Prophet (PBUH) said, “Allah would reward you for this.”
Maymoonah (May Allah be pleased with her) borrowed money on and off. Once she borrowed a large amount and someone said, ‘how will you pay this debt?’ Thereupon she answered; “The Holy Prophet (PBUH) said; “Allah himself pays off the debt of a person who intends to do so.”
Although she was married to the Beloved Prophet (PBUH) for a short time only, she narrated 48 ahadeeth (sayings of the Prophet).
She was also a great authority in Fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence).
After the death of the Prophet (PBUH) she lived her life quietly and peacefully, preoccupying herself with acts of worship and performing Hajj (Pilgrimage) every year.
During her final Hajj, she became very ill on her way back to Madinah from Makkah.
She died in a place called Sarif, which is some miles from Makkah. It was the same place in which a temporary dwelling was set up for the Prophet (PBUH) and Maymoonah where they consummated their marriage. That she died in the same place where her wedding to the Prophet (PBUH) took place could be according to Muhammad ‘Ali Qutb (in Women Around the Messenger (PBUH); “ a noteworthy indication, from which lessons can be learnt, of the purity of her will and her strong affinity for the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). “

Subhan'Allah indeed this is another great woman, and although we know less of her life than other of The Mothers of The Faithful, she is nonetheless a role model and a true example for us, May we learn from this example and from all our Great Women in Islam, Inshaa Allah!

To read more on this and other topics, books can be downloaded here: http://www.kalamullah.com/index.html
http://www.islamicbulletin.org/services/all_ebooks_p1.aspx

We should have all been there

2011-07-12T16:53:00.001+02:00

I was driving past the local police station when I noticed a few people with placards, protesting about something. At first I thought its probably one of the usual protests; people complaining about poor service delivery, or something like that, but as I drove past I saw what was written on the placards and I felt really bad that I was not there with the handful of women who stood outside in the cold protesting against the rape of women!

I should have been there, we all should have been there, men and women uniting against something that I regard as the most terrible crime. A violation like no other, because it completely disregards the sacredness of a woman. “Mr President we did not vote so that women could be raped”, read one of the placards; “stop rape against women”, read the other, these words, so bold, so important, so profound, and yet so easily ignored!

Sadly, no one paid much attention to the women who were protesting, people seemed to be walking past as if it wasn’t a big deal at all. This is the level to which we have been desensitized and this is why we continue to accept this, even though South Africa has the highest rape statistics in the world.

But, this is not something that is unique to South Africa. No, all over the world, women and their bodies are used as targets. In times of war and unrest, rape of women increases, it’s like a tool that the opposing teams use to demoralize each other, and through it all, the fact that women are human beings is ignored. It makes me feel sick just to think about this. In some places, people are even given orders to rape women as a strategy to weaken their enemies. Such strategic abuse and violence against women, and no one does anything about it!

So why wasn’t there more of us protesting outside the police station. Why don’t we organize more of such protests, on a larger scale so that our governments know that we won’t accept crimes such as rape, so that harsher punishments get put into place for rapists, thereby making it more difficult for them to commit the same crimes again. Why? Because most of us deep down believe that this is not our problem, this is not something that we can do anything about, and unless we’ve been affected, we think it has little to do with us; we all probably agree that it's terrible, but we also tend to feel that we can't do anything about it- and it’s this very attitude that results in a handful of women protesting about something of major importance, and simply being ignored.

We are supposed to be living in a civilized world, yet we are faced with such barbarism. It’s simply crazy to think that this is still allowed to continue. But it will continue and continue if only a few people make an attempt to bring about some change!

We should have all been there, we should all be protesting against things that matter. We should be proactive. Rape of women, in fact any abuse of women should not be happening. Not to our neighbours, not to our family members, not to our country people, not to anyone in the world! Our voices might be small, but speaking out about these things is far better than sitting back and doing nothing. Dealing with issues such as these is not the work of social workers or community organizations alone, this should be the work of every single person.

The honour of a woman needs to be protected. There’s a story in the history of Islam that I’m sure many people already know. It goes something to this effect; a Muslim woman went into a shop, and the men there planned to dishonour her by letting her body become exposed, so they did something like tie her outer garment, and when she walked, some part of her body became exposed. What did the Muslim men of that time do? They did not say, “well there’s not much we can do about it, it’s already happened even though it shouldn’t have.” Or, “We all agree that its bad but all we can do now is send the woman for counselling and help her to deal with what has already happened,”-NO! They took action. They killed the man responsible for dishonouring a woman. I’m not saying that we should go around killing people, but this example shows us that taking action prevented this from happening in the future, it was a proactive step, and it probably saved many other women from been dishonoured. Now imagine if these men from that time had to find out that a woman was raped! What do you think they would've done?

I pray to Allah that this terrible crime could cease to happen, it’s not only me that I pray for, not only my sisters, or my friends, or my colleagues, it’s not only my country folk that I pray for, it’s for all the people of the world! I wish that we could get rid of this evil, and I pray that Allah Almighty protects us all!

May Allah make it easy for those people who have been affected by this evil crime, and for those who commit this crime, I pray for them too, I pray that Allah Almighty removes the evil from their hearts!

MAY ALLAH BE WITH US ALL, INSHAA-ALLAH!

IMAGE FROM: http://www.indymedia.ie/article/99499

What are you reading?

2011-07-05T23:02:00.002+02:00

Knowledge is a fundamental part of Islam and indeed of humanity as a whole, but the reason that I say it's particularly a fundamental part of Islam is because Islam basically began with knowledge. Most of us know that the first words uttered by the angel Jibraeel (Gabriel) to our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was "Read!". And the Prophet (PBUH) urged all Muslims, both male and female to seek beneficial knowledge "from the cradle to the grave".

I find it strange that so many people readily admit that they do not read! Maybe this is because I grew up loving reading, my father has always loved books and has always read a variety of different books, so I grew up reading all sorts of things, and having books in our home was a norm. Till now, even though you can read so many different things on the Internet, I still have to admit that I love books in the old fashioned way, with its shiny new covers and interesting pictures. I love to see how the cover represents what's inside the book, basically I prefer having an actual book in front of me and its very sad that reading books is something that people are doing less and less.

The latest book that I am reading is a beautiful and different one. I somehow came across the write-up about it (on the Internet, as you'd all agree Internet reading is simply unavoidable, especially when you're a blogger so I say its best to have both). Anyway, this book sounded interesting. The first thing I read about it was that it tells the story of the life of the Prophet (PBUH) completely in poetry. That was enough to get me intrigued.

So Alhamdullillah I managed to get a copy of the book and I have to tell you that it lives up to its reviews. It's simply heartfelt, honest and true but told in a way that almost forces you to love the amazing Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). I love the cover of this book also, it takes me back to earlier times, and it's just eloquent, and in this case, the cover truly depicts what's inside the book, so yeah, this is a book you can judge by the cover!

So here's a link to the book for any of you who might be interested, and if you do get to read it or already have, please share your thoughts.

But the other thing I'd like to hear about is what books are other people reading. So please feel free to share, tell us what's the last book you've read and whether its worth reading, or share any thoughts on the topic. A friend of mine used to run a book club and I think this idea is so great and a while back I considered having a cyber book club, but that never happened, I do still think it's a nice idea though, its always good to discuss important topics and people all come with their own perspectives.

Anyway, I'm off to read some more of "Noble Brother" now, I know I'm going to enjoy it and I hope that you all enjoy your reading too!

DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS THOUGH, I'LL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO READING THAT TOO!

Great Women in Islam

2011-07-02T16:18:00.000+02:00

Firstly I have to apologise for posting this so late. It was supposed to be done yesterday, and I like it that way because it gets posted on the best day of the week, a Friday. Unfortunately though this week I just couldn't manage. The past few days I have not been feeling very well as I have a flu. Alhamdullillah I am recovering and this has also reminded me of how much we take our health for granted. Everything is so much easier when we are feeling well and we should always be thankful.

Okay, having said that; The answer for the quiz question (Whose name did the Beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) change from Barrah to another name?) is:

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) named Juwayriyah . He changed her name from Barrah to Juwayriyah.
The name ‘Barrah” was linked to the times of ignorance and was “self-praising”, and the Prophet (PBUH) didn’t like this.
Juwayriyah is used as an expression of praise, commendation and love.
She was the daughter of the Chief of a Tribe called Banu al-Muṣṭaliq, who was one of the tribes who wanted to wage war against the Muslims.
It was when the Muslims defeated the Tribe of Banu al-Muṣṭaliq in battle, that Juwayriyah (May Allah be pleased with her) entered the home of our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).

She was married to a cousin of hers and her husband had just been killed in the battle between her tribe and the Muslims.
She was taken as a captive after war and was allotted to a Companion named Thabit ibn Qays al-Ansari (May Allah be pleased with him).
She bargained with Thabit ibn Qays to buy her freedom with nine measure of silver.
She then went to the Prophet (PBUH) to ask for his assistance with the ransom she had offered.
She addressed the Prophet (PBUH) as follows: “O Messenger of Allah! I am the daughter of Al-Harith, the leader of his people. You are not oblivious to what has happened to me. I was part of the share of Thabit ibn Qays and I bargained with him to ransom myself with nine measures of silver. So help me free myself.”
The Noble Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) then asked her if she would like to marry him and she agreed. The Prophet (PBUH) paid her ransom to Thabit ibn Qays and married her.
The implications of the Prophet’s (PBUH) marriage to Juwayriyah were far reaching.
A’isha (May Allah be pleased with her) has reported that; “the news of the marriage came to the people, and they started saying, ‘Will the Prophet’s in-laws be held as captives?’ Thus the people freed all the captives they held of the tribe of Banu al-Muṣṭaliq, and the number of those reached one hundred households- this was as a result of the Prophet’s marriage to Juwayriyah.”
When Juwayriyah’s father heard about what had happened to her and that she had married the Prophet (PBUH) he decided to go to Madinah to ransom her with one hundred camels, hoping that the Prophet (PBUH) would accept that from him.
When he came close to Madinah he scrutinized his camels and saw two good camels that he really liked , so he decided to keep those two. He set the camels aside, tied them up in a safe place and assigned some guards to watch over them.
He then went to meet the Prophet (PBUH) while the Prophet was in the mosque and he begged him to accept his ransom and give his daughter back.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) welcomed him and asked him with a smile, “What about the two camels that you set aside and tied up in such and such a place?”
The man became speechless and was amazed. His tongue was then unable to tell a lie and he spoke the following words; “I testify that there is none worthy of worship other than Allah and that you, Muhammad are a Messenger of Allah! By Allah! No one knows of this matter except Allah alone.”
Following Al-Harith’s embrace of Islam, all the members of Banu al-Muṣṭaliq, also embraced Islam, for he told them what had happened and he invited them to Islam.
This is a manifestation of Allah’s blessing upon Juwayriyah and her tribe, through his Messenger (PBUH). It was also partly due to her marriage to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and her entrance into his household.”

Masha'Allah this is such an interesting story. I urge you to please read more about this to gain a better understanding. There are many books available on the subject, but if it's difficult for you to get books then you can download books for free at the following link:

http://www.kalamullah.com/index.html

May Allah Almighty increase us all in knowledge and grant us understanding, Inshaa Allah Ameen!

The shoes that I really liked

2011-06-26T17:36:00.001+02:00

I always find it amazing that we can be reminded of the most important things, through the smallest of things. Sometimes those things that seem routine and insignificant actually teach us the most important lessons of life, that is of course if we are willing to take heed.

Not too long ago my lesson came through a pair of shoes. I needed to buy a new pair of shoes so as we would all do I went to the shop and took quite a while choosing the correct shoe. After a long time and many different shoes I ended up choosing a shoe which I thought looked really nice on me and I really liked it. When I wore it, I felt good and it sort of gave me an air of confidence (or perhaps if I have to be completely honest I'll admit that it was pride). In any case, it wasn’t even a few weeks that I had it when it broke. The sole came completely loose from the shoe and it needed to be glued together. Prior to that though, the shoe began to damage my toes because it was one of those peep toe styled shoes. So not only was the shoe broken, my poor toes had to bear the brunt of my need to have nice looking shoes as well. I now found myself in a situation where once again I needed to go and buy a new pair of shoes. This time however, I quickly ran into the store, looked for the shoes that would be the most practical, fitted it on and bought it. I suppose you can guess what the results were this time. Although I didn’t feel good every time I wore the shoes, it was fine because it was comfortable and practical, it didn’t hurt my toes and thus far it hasn’t broken or anything.

Ah! Why is it that we need to be taught the same lesson over and over again? In my case I was shown once again that we should not be vain or proud. We should not dress so that we can feel good about ourselves and clothing and shoes should serve its purpose, which is to cover and protect our bodies. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have nice things, but surely our nice things shouldn’t allow us to feel overconfident and it shouldn’t lead to pride or vanity because then it just ends up been a curse instead of a blessing.

I had to learn my lesson through a simple pair of shoes, and no doubt I will have to learn this lesson again and again, because after all we are human beings, and we are prone to error, but Alhamdullilla for now at least I can say that whenever I see my shoes, it reminds me that life is not about the glitz and the glamour. The best things in life are the simplest things, and likewise I have found that the best people in life are the simplest. I want to be of the best people, I want to be of the simple people. I want to be of the people whose true treasures cannot be seen because it exists within. I guess realising the real purpose of a pair of shoes is a start, at least there's a start and inshaa Allah I will get there someday!

May Allah Almighty guide me and everyone else to always be reminded of what is true, real and meaningful in life, Inshaa Allah.

Image from: http://www.e-potpourri.com/index.php/2008/05/16/marc-jacobs-runway-patent-peep-toe-with-misplaced-heel-bizarre-designer-shoes/

Great Women in Islam

2011-06-17T14:47:00.000+02:00

The answer for the quiz question {Who was the first woman that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) married after Khadeejah (May Allah be pleased with her) passed away?} is:

After the passing of Khadeejah (May Allah be pleased with her), the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)suffered from sorrow.
A woman by the name of Khawlah (May Allah be pleased with her), who was one of the female Companions noticed these signs of sorrow in the Prophet (PBUH) and suggested marriage to him.
Two women were mentioned by Khawlah- Sawdah and A’isha (May Allah be pleased with them).
The Prophet (PBUH) married Sawdah first.
Sawdah (May Allah be pleased with her) was a widow and when she married the Beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) she started taking care of his 2 daughters, Umm Kulthoom and Fatimah (May Allah be pleased with them) and she started running the affairs of the household of the Prophet (PBUH).
She had a clean heart and was one of the truthful believers.
She was amiable and humorous, dispelling the Prophet’s (PBUH) worries with her light joking.
Sawdah (May Allah be pleased with her) felt honoured to be one of the “Mothers of the Faithful” and she sought nothing besides that.
Later on she voluntarily gave up the day and night which by rights the Prophet (PBUH) would spend in her company, to her co-wife, A’isha (May Allah be pleased with her).
A’isha (May Allah be pleased with her, described Sawdah (May Allah be pleased with her) as “a pious worshiper and a generous giver of charity.”

There are so many lessons for us to learn from these Great Women in Islam. Let us consider the unselfishness and purity of heart displayed by Sawdah (May Allah be pleased with her). Furthermore, she was content with her life and strived to make those around her happy. Masha'Allah, May Allah Almighty help us all to become more like these amazing women, Ameen!

To read more download books for free at: http://www.kalamullah.com/index.html

Dressed but yet naked

2011-06-07T22:02:00.000+02:00

The greatest illusion of dress,
Deception at its very best,
Clothing so tight its completely revealing,
Defeating the purpose of concealing.

The man seems to be proud,
Standing next to the woman, so bold and loud.
Her body is there for everyone to see,
Yet covered up she believes herself to be.

Every shape is visible to all,
The exact body type, large or small.
Each curve displayed without a care,
Open, vivid, beauty for everyone to share.

The clothing seems to serve little purpose,
So tight that there’s not even a space,
And so it is the uncovering of the sacred,
Even though it’s believed that they are not naked.

The prophecy uttered by the Beloved Prophet (PBUH) ages ago,
Has now become so true,
Just look around and you’ll be witness to this show,
It should be so clear to me and you.

I wish you could see the truth my sister,
That you don't need to appeal to any mister,
Your body should be kept protected,
It's a treasure that should always be respected.

The cover is not at all meant to harm,
There’s very good reason to conceal your natural charm,
Your beauty is something special,
And modest dressing is the best to instil.

I wish that you could see the truth,
And then you will understand your full worth.

As one of the minor signs before the Day of Judgment, Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) mentioned: “There will be women who will be dressed but they will be naked. Their heads will be like the humps of camels. They will not enter Jannah (Paradise) and will not even smell the scent of Jannah while it can be smelt from a far distance.” [Sahih Muslim]

Blogger Award

2011-06-04T15:26:00.000+02:00

I'd like to thank the very special Marie for passing this award on to me. Marie has more than one blog, and in all of them she captures what I'd like to call an essence and meaning of life. Whether this is though poetic words or beautiful photographs. But the most special one of her blogs for me is THE COLOR OF OUR SKIN. In this blog Marie shares her thoughts and experiences with us about different things in her life, and it makes one realize that in the end human beings have more in common than we think. This blog celebrates commonalities and acceptance of all people, instead of creating differences and divisions.

Thank you Marie!!! May you always be Blessed.

Now, the rules are that you've got to share 7 things about yourself, so here goes:

1. I always find some difficulty choosing what to say about myself and never know where to start.

2. I have a weakness for books and don't mind spending money on books at any time.

3. Most of the time I dislike shopping ( I know it will sound crazy to some people). I especially dislike

shopping when places are busy, it drives me crazy.

4. I usually know exactly what I like and what I want from life.

5. Family is very important to me and I can't imagine life without family.

6. One of the things I hate is when people feel sorry for you. When people genuinely take an interest in

your life and are willing to understand things then it's great, Alhamdullillah, but when people just

look at you and feel you sorry for whatever reason, it really irritates me. I guess what I mean here is

that empathy is way better than sympathy.

7. I have a stubborn streak in me which may surprise people.

Okay, so now that I'm done with that; let me pass on this award to some great bloggers:

- Blue Pearl- whose blog is a combination of fun, laughs, serious insight and inspiration.

- Dear Little Auntie- The advice to others is always so relevant and I love the way questions are answered in such an interesting manner yet it shows that you actually do care.

- In the Shade of Islam-I just recently came across this blog, but I find the posts to be so insightful and intelligent and I am moved by the true conviction of this sister.

As always there are many other great blogs out there who deserve an accolade, but these stand out for me right now.

Thanks again to Marie and all the bloggers out there, keep sharing!!!

Image from: http://www.nationwideeducation.co.uk/pio/pass-on-website.php

Great Women in Islam

2011-06-03T11:39:00.000+02:00

The answer to this time's quiz question (Which Great Woman was given the glad tidings by the Prophet (PBUH) of a home of Pearl in Paradise?) is:

She was the first person to embrace Islam and to believe in the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) as the Messenger of Allah.

Khadeejah (May Allah be pleased with her) had been in a previous marriage before she married the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
She was a wealthy woman who had high commercial holdings.
She was also a beautiful woman and she had high status in the community.
She was known for her pure manners, which gave her the title of “The Pure Woman”.
Many men sought her hand in marriage, but she refused all these proposals.
News had reached her of the man people called “The Trustworthy”, and she was impressed by what she heard about the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
She sent someone to him to indirectly express her interest in marrying the Prophet (PBUH). She was 40 years old at the time, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was 25.
Both were delighted when the marriage took place because they shared the same morals and manners.
The greatness of Khadeejah (May Allah be pleased with her) showed the most when Muhammad (PBUH) was granted Prophethood.
She unhesitatingly believed the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) when he came to her telling her about his encounter with Jibreel.
She was a model of wisdom and a source of great support.
When the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) told her that he was afraid that something might happen to him she replied with such amazing wisdom; she said “Never! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kin, serve your guests generously, help the poor and the destitute and assist people afflicted by calamity.”
Khadeejah was the one who calmed the Prophet (PBUH) and gave him strength in the most difficult of times.
Another great aspect of this amazing woman was that she invested all her wealth in the cause of Allah. She spent generously, without ever making mention of what she had spent.
She also showed kindness to weak and poor Muslims.
She passed away at a very difficult time in History for the Muslims and her death was a source of great sorrow to the Prophet (PBUH).
For years to come the Prophet (PBUH) would always remember Khadeejah (May Allah be pleased with her), he spoke about her nostalgically, wept when he was reminded of her and maintained close ties with her good friends.
For Muslims all over this Great Woman will always be remembered as the supporter of the Prophet (PBUH) in the most difficult of times.
Khadeejah (May Allah be pleased with her) was the first Mother of the Faithful in every sense.

I fear that I cannot do justice to this amazing Mother of the Faithful, or to all the other Great Women in Islam. These few words that I put down each time are but a mere glimpse into their amazing lives. I therefore urge you to read more about these women. They are an inspiration and I feel unworthy and extremely humbled to even be writing about them. May Allah Almighty shower His Peace and Blessings Upon them, eternally. Inshaa Allah!

Books can be downloaded from the following link:
http://www.kalamullah.com/index.html

Dear Fellow Bloggers

2011-05-29T22:16:00.000+02:00

For some reason I can no longer post comments using my name and when I try to post a comment on Blogger Blogs, it just ends up showing as anonymous even though I'm signed in as usual.

I've tried to find out what the problem is but unfortunately I have not found a solution. If anyone has experienced something similar happening to them and can advise me on this then please help. I really don't like anonymous commenting.

Anyway, in the meantime I will keep trying to post comments and I will try to remember to add my name to the comment so you know its from me even though it will say anonymous.

Just thought I'd let you all know in case you're wondering what's going on with my comments.

Peace to you all, and happy blogging and commenting.

Image from: http://ilikeellipses.com/category/openid/

Is This Really LIFE?

2011-05-28T16:21:00.000+02:00

The other day my nephews and nieces asked me if they could play a board game called LIFE. I don’t know if all of you are familiar with this game, but for those who are not, it’s basically a board game reflecting “LIFE”. It starts where you have to make the choice between going to College or Finding a Career. Then you move through the various spaces of the game, borrowing money from the bank, getting money for things, receiving a salary, having to pay taxes and other expenses, getting money, losing money, getting married, having children, buying a starter home, then when you have enough money, moving on to a bigger house, then a mansion, getting divorced, getting married again, winning things or money, getting a pay raise, changing careers, going back to college, owing more money, having more expenses, getting more money, then paying for something new..... Eventually you end the game by retiring, with your fancy cars and big mansion (that is of course if you’re lucky enough or wise enough to have played the game well).

As I sat there watching these young innocent children, so eager and excited to play and so fascinated with the game, I honestly couldn’t help feeling completely freaked out! This isn’t what I want my innocent nieces and nephews to think life is all about. In fact, a more appropriate name for this type of game would have been “RAT RACE”. Really, where’s the meaning, the human interaction, the spirituality and religion. Where are the wonderful feelings you get when spending time with family, or the good you accomplish by giving charity, or the positive impact you make by doing volunteer work to help others. Apparently all these things have no value (that is no monetary or material value), and they don’t even deserve to be a part of life. So just like in the game, activities that don’t bring in the money are simply just not worthwhile and you basically end up being the loser. I have to ask; Is this really LIFE? Is this how we want our children to see life? Do we want them to think that life is all about material things and experiences, that our value at the end of the day depends on how big our houses are, or how smart our cars are and how much money we have in the bank? Are these even positive messages at all?

And of course, just like these things have been glamorized in the game, so too have they been made to look wonderful in real life. I know that we need money and a career and so on, but what happened to the essence of life? A life like this has no meaning; it’s a mechanical movement through time where people don’t even have to love what they do, just as long as it gives them the material things they need. What about having a passion for what you do, or doing something because you honestly want to make a real difference? The people who manage to step out of the “rat race” are very few, and they are the ones who are regarded as “odd”, “different”, and “eccentric”. In the meantime, there’s this system in place that has strategically managed to enslave us all in a world that has no meaning and value; a world of materialism, where money is the central part that makes the entire machine work. So people continue to work to get money, and before we even get our pay cheques at the end of the month the money’s already gone. And the house we live in will only belong to us after twenty years of hard work and regular payments. And similarly the car we drive can easily be taken away from us if we are unable to uphold payments. And prices of things continue to go up, and we get extremely tired every day, as we work just to pay for things. Is this really LIFE?

I was happy when my niece decided she wanted to be a teacher in the game instead of a computer designer, despite the fact that the teacher got paid much less. She loves school and teaching and always talks about how she wants to be a teacher. It was refreshing to see how innocent children still make choices based on meaning and value instead of money and materialism. Still though, the sceptic in me can’t help but wonder how long will that last? At what point will this enthusiasm and passion for wanting to do something you really love be drowned out by the glitz and glamour associated with a fancy career. I wish that I could say this will never happen. I wish that I could our future will be built on things that have values and meaning. I wish that I could say money will come to mean very little, it will be a means and not an end. I wish that I could say the definition of life will include meaningful experiences instead of a race through materialism. Perhaps one day my wishes will come true and people will discard the world of materialism for a world full of things that actually mean something.

In the meantime though, we can start with ourselves, we can try to make the difference, we can be different and re-define the definition of LIFE. For me, LIFE is not about a constant rat race, gaining wealth and possessions as we go along. I don’t care about the big house or fancy car. I don’t want the glamorous job in the Top Company. Inshaa Allah, through the mercy of Our Most Magnificent Lord, Allah Almighty, I wish to continue searching for meaning wherever I can find it. And Inshaa Allah, I wish to be able to only do actions that will please Allah, because one day when this material world will no longer exist, then what will I have to show? When money means nothing and all the fancy homes and cars are destroyed and useless, then what will I have to show? When a fancy career in the best company holds no value, then where will I turn? And when I stand before my Lord and have to answer about my life, what will I be able to say then? Who will really win the true game of life?

PS: Before people tell me that I'm spoiling all the fun and taking things way too seriously, I'm really not saying that we shouldn't play games or have fun. Its fine to even play this game for fun, as long as we don't start believing that this is all that life is about. That's all I'm trying to say here!

May Allah make it easy for us all, Inshaa Allah

Image 1 from: http://www.boardgameratings.com/game/95/
Image 2 from: http://lyricsdog.eu/s/live%20action%20roleplaying

Butterfly Award

2011-05-27T16:01:00.000+02:00

I am so delayed in posting this, sometimes it just doesn't seem like there's enough time, but Alhamdullillah there's some time now.

A very big Jazakallah Khayr to Sara @ sweet serenity for giving me the Butterfly Award.

I think it's great when people can share their thoughts openly and constructively in a positive way.

I'd like to dedicate this award to all the wonderful women bloggers. This goes out to all those who are making an effort, sharing your thoughts and experiences and making the time, even when you get busy.

Words have the power to make a difference, and positive words spoken or written lives on eternally. We will never know the full impact of our words, but despite this, inshaa Allah we will continue to share our thoughts, and voice our opinions, and we will hope and pray that Allah Almighty is pleased with what we do.

Thanks to all of you who continue to inspire me!

Great Women in Islam

2011-05-20T23:50:00.000+02:00

The answer for this week's quiz question (Which of the Prophet's (PBUH) wives was entrusted with the great task of preserving the written verses of the Holy Qur'aan? ) is:

She was the daughter of Umar ibn al-Khattab (May Allah be pleased with him).
She was 1st married to a man known as Hisn ibn Hudhafah, who participated in the Battle of Badr and then fell ill at Madinah and died.
She then became a widow and her father Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) became worried and decided to find her a suitable husband.
Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) thus approached Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with Him) and asked him if he would marry Hafsah (May Allah be pleased with her). On this request Abu Bakr remained silent and Umar was distressed.
Umar then approached Uthmaan (May Allah be pleased with him) for the marriage of his daughter Hafsah, but Uthmaan was still mourning the loss of his wife Ruqayyah (May Allah be pleased with her), the daughter of the Noble Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) then saw Umar in this distressed condition and inquired about this.
The Messenger (PBUH) calmed Umar down and said to him; “Hafsah shall marry someone who is better than Uthmaan and Uthmaan shall marry someone who is better than Hafsah.”
Although Umar didn’t fully understand, he was calmed.
When Umar told Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with them) what the Prophet (PBUH) had said, then Abu Bakr told Umar that the Prophet (PBUH) mentioned Hafsah to him and showed an interest in marrying her. This was the reason for Abu Bakr’s silence, and he said that he would otherwise have married Hafsah.
Uthmaan was promised in marriage Umm Kulthoom, who was also the daughter of the Prophet (PBUH) thus the Prophet’s (PBUH) words were understood.
That is the story of how Hafsah entered the household of the Prophet (PBUH) as one of the Mothers of the Believers.

She was the closest to A’isha of all the Prophet’s (PBUH) wives. It was like the two of them were sisters, and they always agreed and never argued.
Hafsah was somewhat stern and tough in nature.
Due to her nature, the Prophet (PBUH) divorced her once.
According to Ahadeeth, On this, the angel Jibra’eel (Gabriel) came to the Prophet (PBUH) and told him; “Take Hafsah back, for she frequently fasts and prays in the night. And she is your wife in Paradise.”
The Prophet (PBUH) thus took Hafsah back .
Hafsah could read and write. This was an accomplishment that was very rare amongst women and men at that time.
An indication of the importance of this ability was that Hafsah’s house was the place where the revealed verses of the Holy Qur’aan (written on palm branches, slates and other material) was kept.

To read more you can download books at: http://www.kalamullah.com/index.html

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE GREAT WOMEN IN ISLAM SERIES WILL NOW BE POSTED EVERY SECOND WEEK INSTEAD OF EVERY WEEK- INSHAA-ALLAH.

I guess change is inevitable

2011-05-17T21:18:00.000+02:00

Depending on how we choose to see things, change can be either a positive or negative thing. Recently I have had to go through some changes in my life which I was not very willing to embrace at first. I have become comfortable with my life the way it is and the idea of things changing didn’t go down well at first. I made all types of excuses initially, but then at some point I realized that there was not much point in making excuses anymore, because we have to deal with change at some point, whether we like to or not.

The more I think of it, the more it seems that life is only about change. In fact, we may even describe life as a series of changes. We are born, and we spend the first few precious years of our lives being protected and nurtured by our parents and then that has to change when we go off to school. Going to school can be a scary and sad experience (my youngest sister will attest to this as she just hated school initially). But this is a change that we have to deal with. Then when we become comfortable in Primary School, when we finally feel happy and secure in our friendships, it’s time for another change and we have to go off to high school, or perhaps another primary school or maybe even another Town, or country.

After school more changes await us. We go off to University or to work, some of us get married. Whatever path we take, we have to go through changes in life. As we get older and progress through life, we will find that change is inevitable. There’s no getting away from it. Things cannot stay the same because without change there is no progression in life, and without progression in life we remain stagnant, and what is the point then, really, if we’re not learning and growing as we go through the wonderful journey of life?

I have found that the times we really don’t look forward to change are the times when we learn the most from the changes that we encounter. I read a quote somewhere; it said that “CHANGE BRINGS LIFE”. I always remember this, especially when I am not looking forward to change.

So truly I guess change is inevitable, but no matter what the change is, it has to be good for us in terms of growing to become stronger and better people. So perhaps the better thing to do would be to embrace change instead of run away from it, accept and appreciate change instead of moan about it and regard change as an opportunity to grow and a means to become a better person.

At this point I am recalling a verse from the Holy Qur’aan in which Allah (swt) states that no soul will be given a burden which he is unable to bear. SubhanAllah, Allah is indeed the Most Merciful and this assures us that no matter what the changes are that we have to go through in life, if we rely on Allah Almighty then certainly we will be able to bear all the changes that come our way. Inshaa Allah Ameen!

Image 1 from: http://selfpersonal.com/blog/2009/11/change-quotes-ignore-change-experience-decay/
Image 2 from: http://www.beliefquotes.com/graphics/change/
Image 3 from: http://cmm111-teng.blogspot.com/2011/02/motivational-quotes.html

Great Women in Islam

2011-05-13T20:11:00.000+02:00

The answer for this weeks quiz question (What was the name of the wife of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) who advised him on what to do when the Muslims wanted to perform umrah and they were not allowed to do this?) is:

She accepted Islam from the beginning
She married Abdullah-bin-Asad (May Allah be pleased with him) who was a Companion of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and immigrated to Abyssinia due to the persecution of the Qureysh Tribe.
They had a son named Salama. (Thus the origin of her name Umme Salama (mother of Salama).
While in Abyssinia they heard false news that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) had made peace with the Qureysh, so they returned to Mecca and were captured and thus separated. Her husband tried to run away with them, but Salma’s family refused and detained her. They had mounted their camels but she was forced off, thus resulting in Abdullah having to leave behind his family.
Once Abdullah’s family had heard this news they laid claim to Salma’s son and he too was taken away and separated leaving her completely alone.
Due to her grief and devastation she used to weep bitterly, run into the forest to cry. At seeing this, her family had pity on her and released her and allowed her to leave Mecca and rejoin her husband and son.
When she was re-united with her family, the bond was very strong.
She asked Abdullah one day if he would re-marry if she died. His duaa (prayer) was that she gets better than him if he dies.
2 daughters were born to her later on- Dara and Zainub.
Her husband, Abdullah fought in the Battle’s of Badr and Uhud and he passed away of an open war wound.
Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him) proposed to her and she refused.
When the Prophet (PBUH) proposed she accepted and thus her husband Abdullah’s duaa was accepted as she got to marry someone much better than him.
While the Muslims were staying in Medina, the Prophet (PBUH) decided to make umrah (short pilgrimage) to Mecca.
The Muslims were refused entry into Mecca on arrival and they were very disappointed about this.
When the Prophet (PBUH) asked the Muslims to slaughter the animals and remove their ihram (clothing worn especially for pilgrimage) they didn’t want to do this because this usually marks the end of pilgrimage and they hadn’t performed it. They were still adamant that they wanted to go ahead with the umrah.
Salma (May Allah be pleased with her) advised the Prophet (PBUH) to remove his ihram and slaughter his animals because she knew that when the Companions saw the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) do this then they would follow.
Her advice was taken and the outcome was as she said.
Salma(May Allah be pleased with her) always paid attention to every word and advice of the Prophet (PBUH) and she passed it on.
She is Noted as having told 378 Ahadith (teachings/ sayings of the Prophet (PBUH).
She died at the age of 84-last to die amongst all the wives of the Beloved Prophet (PBUH).

To read more you can download books from: http://www.kalamullah.com/sisters.html

Butterfly Award

2011-05-12T15:08:00.000+02:00

I've received the Butterfly Award from one of the sweetest bloggers I know. Its taken me a while to post this because I've been a bit busy. Alhamdullillah I now have some time to do this. Dear rose water, my prayer for you is that you stay as sweet and loving as you are!

Now I've got to share something about myself....

Today all I can say is that I am someone who's always trying to make sense of the world. I tend to think way too much, and I'm not happy just accepting things because other people say it's a certain way. I need to do my research, make my prayers and have my discussions with those I trust before things begin to make sense. Today is one of those days where I'm feeling quite confused about people's way of thinking. Inshaa Allah clarity will come soon, it always does with the Mercy of Allah Almighty.

Now to share this lovely award...There are so many deserving blogs out there and I am honestly so inspired by my fellow bloggers, but I'm going to choose the following blogs for this;

The Whisperings of Shaytaan will never end

2011-05-09T08:28:00.000+02:00

Things here in Johannesburg finally seem to be getting back to normal. There were many holidays that have just passed. April is usually a month of holidays; with the Easter weekend, and 27th April Public Holiday in South Africa known as Freedom Day, to commemorate the 1st ever Democratic Voting Day for all citizens of all races in this country, which took place in 1994, we usually get many days off in April. Then shortly after that it’s a public holiday for the 1st May, and South Africa has a system whereby if a Public Holiday happens to fall on a Sunday, then the Monday becomes the holiday since Sunday is already supposed to be a holiday. I have no idea who thought that up, but the people are not complaining, why would we when we get extra holidays, right?

Anyway, now that things are seemingly reaching normality, it’s time for us to begin again with our weekly workshops for women. Usually we deal with topics like “Parenting Skills”; “Marriage”; “Self-Reformation”, etc. Topics that are general and not purely Islamic in nature. The way it works is that we divide our session into two parts, before tea and after tea. In one part we present the Islamic perspective of the topic, and in the other part we present the Psychological and Social Perspective of the same topic. I think it works really well, Alhamdullillah!

Well, this time we decided to do something completely different, so we ended up choosing topics on Imaan, Sabr (Patience) and Shukr (Gratitude). I think this is when Shaytaan began his whisperings. When we sat in our first meeting deciding what we were going to present I looked at the topics and thought to myself, ‘There’s no way we’re going to have anything to present from a Psychological and Social Perspective’, and since this is usually the area in which I have more knowledge (not a lot of knowledge, but I guess it’s better than nothing), I began feeling a bit lost. I really felt that there was not much that I could contribute to this particular workshop and was even wondering if they needed me for this one at all. I didn’t recognize this as the whisperings of shaytaan until last week when we had another meeting.

One of the other facilitators mentioned that she had a moment where she was about to call us all and suggest that we cancel this workshop because it was almost time to start and she had nothing prepared at all. Alhamdullillah, through her wisdom and strength she was able to recognize this as the whisperings of shaytaan and that made her stronger in her resolve to continue. While we were discussing this it dawned upon us that this workshop is different to our others because of the content, and inshaa-Allah the topics we’ve chosen (with the guidance of Almighty Allah) will help to bring people closer to Allah (swt) and so this would be a very good reason for shaytaan to make extra attempts to alter our minds and even try and steer us towards not having the workshop at all.

Alhamdullillah, we have now made up our minds to turn to Allah and continue this workshop. From my part I have to say that after feeling so lost I decided to ask Allah for help and soon after that the ideas began flowing in my mind and it became so easy for me to prepare our presentations. Seriously, it was like things to talk about suddenly appeared in my mind from nowhere and I was actually excited to prepare. My fellow facilitators had similar experiences. Although they had nothing prepared, somehow the information just came to them. For instance, one of the lady's sister sent some books with her to pass on to her daugter-in-law. When she looked at the books her sister had sent she found that it had a lot of information pertaining to this workshop. Then when she went through all her previously researched material, she found further information. This is the same lady who wanted to cancel the workshop because she thought she had nothing prepared, and now she has so much information she doesn't know if there'll be time to present it all.

SubhanAllah (Glory be to Allah). It's absolutely amazing how things work out when you turn to Allah!

Inshaa- Allah we will be starting our first session this coming Wednesday and I pray to Allah that it all goes well and that Allah accepts our efforts (which are only minor) and that Allah helps us to gain knowledge and understanding that will bring us closer to Him through this and of course I cannot forget to pray that Allah Almighty protects us all from the sneaky whisperings of shaytaan, which are so subtle that many times we are not even able to recognize it.

Allah says; whose meaning is:

"Say: I seek refuge with the Lord of mankind,
he King of mankind,
the God of mankind,
from the evil of the insidious whisperer
who whispers in people’s breasts
and comes from the jinn and mankind."

(Holy Qur'aan- Sur'ah Naas (Mankind)-Chapter 114: Verse 1-6)

Image taken from: http://www.moonmaiden-gothic-clothing.co.uk/moonmaiden-whisperings.htm

Great Women in Islam

2011-05-06T14:55:00.000+02:00

The answer for this week's quiz question (Which one of the Prophet's (PBUH) wives was regarded as the one with the longest arms due to spending the most in charity?) is:

Zainub bint Jahsh (May Allah be plesaed with her) was born in the tribe of Quraish. She was of noble lineage.
She was first married to the adopted son of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), Zayd ibn Haritha (May Allah be pelased with him).
Due to differences this marriage did not work out and after Zayd divorced Zainub she was married to the Prophet (PBUH).
This served as a very important lesson in legislature for the Muslims. At the time, marrying the divorced wife of one's adopted son was regarded as taboo because it was regarded as marrying the wife of one's son. This incident showed that the same rules do not apply to adopted sons and biological sons and Allah intended to remove a burden that people were placing on themselves.
It was reported by Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) that when Zainub heard the news of her divorce from Zayd and engagement to the Prophet (PBUH) she prostrated to Allah in gratitude.
Zainub was headstrong and indepedent.
She became a good friend to A'isha (May Allah be pleased with her).
A'isha said that in terms of values- Zainub was her equal. She had never seen any other person so eager to get closer to Allah (SWT).
Zainub gained nearness to Allah through her charity and generosity.
She worked with her own hands (she did handicraft) and whatever she earned she spent in charity).
Her behaviour with relatives was impeccable.
She possessed Inner and Outer beauty!
She was a God-fearing, straight forward woman who practiced abstinence.
All her actions were aimed at pleasing Allah(SWT)
When she lost her temper she was quick to repent and ask for forgiveness.
She was Pure at heart- never resentful or carried grudges.
She fasted often, an performed abundant optional prayers (salaat).
At the time of the Prophet's (PBUH) death, his wives asked “which of us will join you first?” The Prophet (PBUH) replied by saying “ the one with long arms”, so they all began to measure only to realize that it was the one who spent most in charity.
Zainub was the first to die after the Prophet (PBUH).

To read more you can download books from the following link:

http://www.kalamullah.com/sisters.html

Special Women with a Very Special Task

2011-05-04T22:30:00.000+02:00

I have a cousin who was born with a mental disability. For as long as I can remember, her mother has been looking after her and caring for her in her own way. She is now probably in her late thirties and things are just getting more difficult. Although she is constantly on medication, she obviously still interacts on a level that no one can understand. She speaks openly about everything, even things that are supposed to be private, and this always makes her mother uncomfortable. After spending a brief time with my cousin recently, it occurred to me that it really can’t be easy at all to have a child with a disability, and I have to say that only special people are chosen for this important task.

I know a few other amazing mothers whose children have physical or mental disabilities. All these women have something in common. They have dedicated their lives to taking care of their children.

One of the ladies I know is in her 80s and she has a son who is mentally disabled. Like my cousin his condition has worsened over the years, despite the constant medication that he is on. This old lady lives alone with her son and still cares for him, despite her age. She makes him coffee and cooks for him and at an age in her life when someone is supposed to be caring for her, she still walks to do shopping and make sure that she and her son have all their needs. When she speaks about her son it’s casual and matter of factly, like taking care of him for like 50 years or so hasn’t been a big deal at all. SubhanAllah, I am awestruck by this dedication.

Another amazing mother I know has a son who is bedridden. He was born without any problems and everything was normal until he suddenly took ill in his early twenties or so (I’m not sure of the exact age, but I know that it was after he finished high school). Since as long as I can remember this man has been bedridden and his mother has been taking care of her son’s every need. She feeds him on time, makes sure his bed is always clean, turns him around so that he doesn’t develop bed sores, gives him medication, etc. This woman is probably in her 60s, perhaps nearing her 70s and she still does this patiently. SubhanAllah.

Then I know a few young mothers; in their twenties and thirties, who have children with Down syndrome. Despite the various challenges that this presents, these mothers are intent on making sure that their children are receiving the best treatment, at school and at home. These mothers are constantly trying to find new ways to help their children, and they too will probably be doing this for the rest of their lives. I had the privilege of witnessing exactly how much love one of these mothers has for her son. While others may not have patience to deal with him, or while they may lack understanding, she is there, patiently embracing him and making him feel that there is nothing at all wrong with him. SubhanAllah, the love and dedication that I have witnessed is remarkable.

These are truly special mothers; the ones who have to struggle each day with their children who they love with all their hearts. The ones who see their children and wonder what life would have been like if things were different. The ones whose love is evident every single moment as they cross the hurdles and overcome the difficulties. The ones who constantly have to go through the pain and difficulty of watching their children been cast out by others. The ones who try their utmost to make things better for their children, when everyone else believes that it’s no use trying that hard. These are special mothers, the ones who never give up, and who stand by their children, hand-in-hand, reminding them that someone will always be with them.!

Allah Almighty has blessed these wonderful women. They have a task that is far from easy, a task that only a few special people can handle. I am in awe of them, I am amazed by them and I know that Allah Almighty will reward them for all that they do.

We should never judge these mothers or how they interact with their children. Sometimes their actions might make us wonder and we can easily misinterpret their intentions. We should remember that every mother knows their child better than any other human, and this cannot be more true for these women who have spent their lives with their children.

May Allah (SWT) reward them in abundance and give them the highest stages of Paradise inshaa Allah.

Image from: http://www.spreadshirt.net/best-mom-women-t-shirts-C4414P33I11553603

Great Women in Islam

2011-04-29T16:45:00.000+02:00

The answer for this week's quiz question ("Which of the Prophet's (PBUH) wives was a Jew before embracing Islam?) is...

 Safiya bint Huyayee was the favourite daughter of Huyayee bin Akhtab, the chieftain of the tribe of Banu Nadheer.

 In the battle of Khayber, the Jews were defeated by the Muslims and Safiya (May Allah be pleased with her) lost her husband- so she was taken captive along with all the other prisoners of war.

 The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) freed Safiya and proposed marriage to her.

 When she was given the choice to go free or marry the Prophet (PBUH), she chose to marry the Prophet (PBUH) and she accepted Islam.

 The Prophet (PBUH) paid a reasonable sum of money for Safiya’s hand in marriage and still said to her; “You are now free, if you like you can go back to your tribe or you can be my wife” And this is how she replied “ I longed to be with you while I was a Jew, how can I leave you now when I am a Muslim?”

 Safiya, before embracing Islam had dreamt of a portion of the moon which had fallen into her lap and the sun on her bosom. When she mentioned this dream to her husband at the time he said “You seem to desire to be the wife of the king of Medina?”

 She was 17 at the time of her marriage to the Prophet (PBUH), beautiful, extremely generous and always looked after the poor and the needy.

To read more you can download books from the following link:
http://www.kalamullah.com/sisters.html